Ranting..but seriously..what's the deal?!!

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Replies

  • kimmianne89
    kimmianne89 Posts: 428 Member
    I feel exactly like this! I even just wrote a status thing on it.
    I have lost 14lbs and have 19lbs left to lose yet am still just as chunky!
    I have lost a few bumps here and there and the 'muffin tops' but still feel the same overall size. Not much of a difference in clothes or measurements. It is so discouraging.

    From seeing your pictures there is definitely a noticable difference. Keep going you will reach your goal and be so happy you kept going. Just remember, even if not at your goal you are still smaller than you were before. Good luck! x
  • KristyB32
    KristyB32 Posts: 76 Member
    A lot of times people are hesitant to mention weight loss, because they are afraid it will come off as insulting (ie, "you were so big before, but now you look great!"). So just because people aren't saying anything, it doesn't mean they aren't noticing. All I can say is your profile picture surely shows a lot of weight loss.

    I completely agree with this!

    I can see a huge difference in your profile pic. You look great!

    I think sometimes people see a change, but are worried about saying anything and offending the person. I also think sometimes people wonder "Are they ill and that's why they're losing weight?" and don't want to say anything... just in case.

    I've lost nearly 60lbs and went to a baby shower where I hadn't seen 3/4 of the people in at least 2-4 years. Only ONE person said anything about my weight loss. I was a bit bummed - not because I wanted compliments, but I was worried that the weight loss wasn't as noticeable as *I* thought maybe it was?

    Wow! You look amazing! I wish I had full body before/during/afters, but I always made sure no one took one of me or else! lol Maybe then I could see for myself the changes occurring. Fantastic work! Very inspirational! :flowerforyou:
  • KristyB32
    KristyB32 Posts: 76 Member
    When I lost weight, loads of people complimented me on it, but to be honest it just made me feel more insecure as I felt I had to keep up the momentum to keep getting the compliments. I've regained a few pounds since, and I'm terrified people will notice it because they drew so much attention to the initial weight loss. So compliments can go both ways!

    Also, when someone loses weight their mindset alters more slowly. You might look in the mirror and still see a 'fat' person because that's what you're accustomed to seeing, and it's how you've seen yourself for so long. Look at old and new photos of yourself for comparison; and I'm sure people you don't see very often have noticed the difference, even if they haven't said so.

    I didn't really think of it this way, but it makes complete sense! I def still see the fat person, that's why I wish I had more/better before photos.
  • WhittRak
    WhittRak Posts: 567 Member
    Number one: You look amazing. Number two: YOU LOOK AMAZING!. Screw that scale! It is very obvious that your hard work is paying off! :flowerforyou:
  • connie_messina
    connie_messina Posts: 495 Member
    you look amazing! i see the results!! u should be proud how far u have come!!
  • peacefulsong
    peacefulsong Posts: 223 Member
    I think it's hard for people who see you regularly to see slow changes. I mean it's hard for us to see slow changes in ourselves just by looking in the mirror. A few years ago I lost 60 pounds and no one outside my family (who knew I was trying) mentioned it. I myself couldn't really see it until I compared some before and after pictures. The subject came up with a friend at work and she said "I did notice you'd lost some weight!" and then mentioned another coworker who'd lost 75. I see that woman every day around the building and hadn't noticed her weight loss at all until it was pointed out to me. She's still a big woman, but once I actually thought about it, I did see that she looked smaller. It's just hard to see gradual changes. And then of course there is the fact that people are hesitant to comment on weight changes in general anyway.
  • julieellam
    julieellam Posts: 20 Member
    I agree with the above.

    You are doing really well but by the sounds of it you could do with being with people who give you that support and encouragement. I've found that my gym buddies are the best motivation for me, as they are working to a similar goal and know how motivational a few positive words can be.

    If you ever feel you are not achieving as much as you want make a list of all the things that have changed.

    You've got to congratulate yourself. 55lbs is amazing. Keep doing what you are doing, you're doing great!
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    So, after all this time..I guess I was "expecting" more noticeable results. (clothing sizes or anything)I know I can be pretty hard on myself, but I've worked my tail off thinking that by now, I would have some pretty dramatic changes. Even if I didn't so much notice, wouldn't others see a change? The only people that have taken time to say anything at all or even acknowledge that I've lost even a little weight is my immediate family, and even their comments haven't been too impressive to keep me motivated. Guess I'm just getting discouraged after 7 months of hard work and dedication. Just wondering how long it's really going to take to get the results I'm wanting and what I've been working for. Has Anyone else had or having this problem? If so, how many pounds did you lose before you or even anyone else noticed a difference? (I have about 24 more lbs to reach my short term goal, but my ultimate goal would be around 50-60 more lbs) ughh that sounds so discouraging!!! :sad: sorry for the rant..but I really need some motivation! It's gonna pay off eventually, right?!! :cry:

    Don't get too toey with them. They could be doing what they would be doing if they were my family...

    which is not rocking the boat lest they capsize it. If they go overboard 'wow, wow, amazing!' eek they can run the risk of you stopping dieting. It happens to the best of us. That feeling of satisfaction that you've made it takes all the heat out of the actual desire to keep going. You feel like sitting down and having a party and with the best will in the world they've taken the wind out of your sails.

    Also: when people are dieting, EVERYTHING you say is the wrong thing to say because any comment goes the wrong way. I don't know why or how, I dish it out and I get it back, it's always the same: It's never the right thing to say, and it never satisfies what's inside you in terms of what you need to hear. If anyone asks 'well what do you want to hear, then' you might find you're stumped. It's not a word you want, it's a feeling you want to have. And they can't give you that feeling.

    Heh.

    And in closing, something my mother comes out with a lot: 'fools and children should never see a job half done'. Best not to have an opinion until the task is completed. Mum and bro and sis may well be sitting there, fingers crossed, a huge party planned for when you hit goal, but utter silence to your face because they don't want to be the person that said the dumb thing that knocked you off the diet. you just never know what people are thinking. Keep on trucking and just do what you do. :)
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    I've lost 56lbs over the last year, and not nearly as many people have noticed as I'd like lol. The people who matter have though and that's all that is important in my eyes! Judging by this people think you'll feel offended, which seems crazy to me, but many people have said it so it must be true. I only have to look at my before and afters to feel proud. I look so different. I really look quite ugly on the befores to be totally honest. The weight had ruined my features. They are starting to come back and I'm looking prettier and more importantly happier. I look so damn miserable in the first. Take a proper look at your before and afters, like others have said take in the other advantages of this journey. Be happy your doing something for you! You'll have a happier, healthier life. Be able to get nice clothes, feel pretty, be fit and healthy! Doesn't really matter what others think its the benefits to you, and they are endless! X
  • olong
    olong Posts: 255 Member
    Dear Kristy: Congratulations on your weight loss! I can really see the difference your hard work is making! Keep up the good work!
  • dariadoll
    dariadoll Posts: 18
    You have lost a great amount of weight and you can definitely see it in your photo!! You should be very proud of yourself as every person loses weight at different speeds. It has taken me over 2 years to lose 3 stone and I'm still going, still plodding along! I know it may seem disheartening if it is going slow, but even a pound a week is a pound a week in the right direction!!

    Keep up the good work!!!!

    xx
  • KristyB32
    KristyB32 Posts: 76 Member
    Number one: You look amazing. Number two: YOU LOOK AMAZING!. Screw that scale! It is very obvious that your hard work is paying off! :flowerforyou:

    You're so sweet! :blushing: Love that I can come here to let out my feelings and everyone understands. It's just sad that everyone here is more supportive than my actual friends/family. :frown:

    Also, I don't think I mentioned it before but other than you guys and my immediate family, no one else knows that I've been "dieting" or changing health habits. I haven't mentioned that I'm watching what I eat or that I've even been working out . I know some have mentioned that people might be afraid to say anything in fear of me quitting, so just wanted to bring up the fact not many people know I'm even trying to lose the weight. :wink: again thank you all for your very kind comments and words of advice! All of you are fantastic! :heart:
  • trimom10
    trimom10 Posts: 388 Member
    I felt that way early on in my weight loss and did a post:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/491560-do-you-have-unsupportive-people-in-your-life

    MFP responses were very helpful and gave me insight into what others around me might be feeling. Consequently, I never talk to my husband about my weekly weigh-ins or calories, and I've learned to not bring up my weight loss unless someone mentions it first.

    Remember, this is about you, not them. Keep up the good work!
  • StrongGwen
    StrongGwen Posts: 378 Member
    Your profile pix are only head shots but you honestly look like your own younger happier sister. 55bs is a LOT to lose. It took more than a few months to gain all the extra weight, & you're in this for the long haul. Decide if you want to increase the intensity of your workouts or try new activities to shake up your body. Maybe you've adjusted to your current workouts?

    IMO when we're really big, we don't really see ourselves as we are. Our mental image is at a lower weight, not accepting the reality. Then we lose a lot of weight, & our real size matches our mental image, so we feel like we don't look different.

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