Motivation and support after bad group team experience

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kristen5231
kristen5231 Posts: 16
in Motivation and Support
Hi All! I just joined and moved over from Lose It. I was on Lose It for about 3 months and have lost 20 lb (and many many more to go). I loved the site and made alot of good friends. I joined a team that happened to be the biggest team there of over 200 members. So it was a diverse group of course but a very positive group and very helpful and supportive. I won't get into details, but basically I had to post my URL for facebook which is blackpeople69. I always apologize for the URL and comment that I was hacked, someone made my URL that, and now I can't change it. Many people responded back in laughter and joke and that relieved me and we all joked about it some. Well apparently there were some silent members that were offended by it and instead of emailing me personally or saying something about it they went and whined to the leader who has enough on her plate. There were other members making some other jokes at the same time and it became too much for the leader. She rashly posted in the forum a little rant calling out 4 members on some stuff. When she finally got to me she told me that she's sick of hearing about my URL and that people have been complaining to her and asked me to stop. I love my leader and think she is great. I love my team and think they are great. I was hurt that she called me out like that in the forum instead of emailing me, but she has apologized for her quick remark and that is not the issue for me. Just the thought that my actions (even though pre-warned, apologetic and explained) were still offensive and caused the leader turmoil just aggravated me to no end. I now feel that I have to be cautious every time I say something. I now feel that there are people in the team watching me and judging me. I get plenty of that in real life! Trust me! I want to be free to be myself online. And I still could be, but being in that big group, I feel people would just be complaining to the leader and I do not want that for her. So I stopped commenting in the forums and discovered I was just barely using the site at all. I want a fresh start! So I'm looking for some friends! And hopefully I can get myself out of this yucky funk and concentrated back on what really matters! My health!
Thanks!
Kristen

Replies

  • Reedern
    Reedern Posts: 525 Member
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    Glad to have you here! It's really sad when people have to ruin a good thing. I can't stand people who constantly have to shove their opinions and beliefs etc down our throats. We are here for a purpose... to be healthier people! That's what the focus should be on, not someone's URL.... I hope you find this site better suited for you! Feel free to add me as your friend...
  • kristen5231
    kristen5231 Posts: 16
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    Thank you! I just read your post and found it so similar to mine. I didn't have an attack against me, but it sure felt like one. I was raised Christian and even though I am not one any more, I still go to church with Mom and Grandma (while I'm living in the same town with them) and I understand that mindset. They want to shelter themselves in that world and even though it's online and they should not let things offend them, they do. I understand it. It's a part of life. And it's not something they can turn off. They are basically bred to be close minded lol. I just don't want that for me online. I get it plenty in real life. I have to be fake and happy and perfect to all of them. So online, I wanna be myself and get a little dirty or naughty sometimes without the worry of being ridiculed or judged. Saying something to my face I can handle, but going behind my back and making trouble I just can't stand :)
  • labtracks
    labtracks Posts: 108 Member
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    People will do what they're going to do and unfortunately many people crave drama in their lives. I'm sorry you felt hindered there and I'm glad you were the bigger person and moved on to surround yourself with different people you can again feel more comfortable with. Welcome. Feel free to add me if you wish.
  • paw247Pat
    paw247Pat Posts: 30
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    Welcome to MFP Kristen! It's a fantastic site. I've been part of it for about 6 weeks and my only complaint is that the friends I have made, I will probable never meet in person. I have the most wonderful, supportive group of friends. Feel free to add me if you wish, I would be glad to be your pal!! I try to go on here 2 or 3 times a day just to check in and give support and encouragement to my friends.

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