A rant (sorry in advance)

stef_e_b
stef_e_b Posts: 593
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
My mom has had this boyfriend for nine years. He has proven himself a horrible person a thousand times over. I know I should mind my own business but, shes my mom and regardless of the stupid choices she makes I love her.

This "man" is the most vile human I have ever come across. Even if I can ignore that he cheats on her (she refuses to get an hiv test) Even if I can get over that he used to beat me up. Even if I can accept that when he calls me sexy he means I look nice in a purely step-fatherly way. Even if its not my business that he has never had a job and my mother and his other girlfriends pay for everything he owns including his porn that he leaves lying around and his drugs and alcohol. Not care that he smashed my coffee table and rocking chair because he found my diary entry about him (hidden in my underwear drawer) unattractive. Even if I can come home to find my money and electronics stolen.

I hate this man.

Replies

  • July
    July Posts: 239
    Oh, terrible.
    Can you distance yourself, get away?
  • ivykivy
    ivykivy Posts: 2,970 Member
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. Do you live with your mom? I pray for your financial well being that you will be able to leave. I will pray that your mom will have the courage and love for herself and you to let him go. I will pray that he will change and stand up and be the man he was created to be.:flowerforyou:
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    Oh wow...your mom needs a wake up call. I agree with July, you really should distance yourself from him.
  • lizzys
    lizzys Posts: 841 Member
    :brokenheart: i feel for you but your mother will make here own mind regardless if your in a bad place or not it seem like you old enough and you will find your own place soon just hang in theri
  • tammietifanie
    tammietifanie Posts: 1,496 Member
    I understand you love your mom but it's time to get some help away from this man and it would be the best thing you could ever do for you and your mother.. If he's hurting you or your mother it's time to call the cops or someone else that can help you.. Trust me your mom doesn't see it now but in she will later in life when she see's her daughter was only protecting her like she would to you if your boyfriend was doing all that... Please get out of that situation i was in one for almost 8 years and finally took the first step of getting out and now im with the most amazing man of my dreams and look back wondering what the hell i was doing and your mother will do the same.. if not at least get yourself away from all that... :brokenheart: :sad:
    Im so sorry your dealing with that...
  • LaurelFisher
    LaurelFisher Posts: 407 Member
    Stef, How old are you? You look very young. Have you talked to a counselor? Do you still live at home? This is a very sick and cruel man who will never change. You need to find someone you can trust to talk to who may be able to get you and your mom some help, that is if she wants help. I will say a prayer for you. I was abused as a child, beaten with a belt, hit with a horse whip, shot with a BB gun. cussed at and never felt like I was loved growing up. Stay strong and know there is help all you have to do is find it and ask.
  • stef_e_b
    stef_e_b Posts: 593
    Thanks so much. I can't leave right now, I am 21 but, I'm still in school and can't afford to live on my own. I've tried talking to counselors but, I've never found one that cares. I just needed to get it out there so that it wasn't just sitting in my head. Thanks for reading.
  • adopt4
    adopt4 Posts: 970 Member
    You are in a dangerous situation. If he's ever beaten you up, you need to report him to the police. Whether you were a child at the time or not, it needs to be reported.

    You might also try being an "au pair" while going to school, meaning you babysit for your room and board, and you go to school as well. A lot of times you also get a salary, but if you can babysit regularly like being a nanny part-time or full-time it can get you out of the situation and keep you safe. Go thru an agency if you do this, however, again, for your own safety.
  • dlestermfp
    dlestermfp Posts: 106
    People can get into all kinds of philosophical discussions about mental well-being and when emotional abuse has reached a limit that you should no longer endure. But, that line is a lot easier when it comes to physical abuse. You cannot and should not accept that. There is never a time when that is appropriate. If he 'beats you up' you need to call the police, with or without your mother's support.
  • Lose26LbsByXgiving
    Lose26LbsByXgiving Posts: 82
    NEVER be alone with him.

    Find your mom a new boyfriend.... just her to go hang out with you and him.. don't tell it as a date
    so she can see there is other NICE man out there who finds her attractive..
    A way to let her feel confident about herself and know she can get another man.


    Don't let it get to you. Specially if it is nomething that it's NOT in your control.


    COUNT DOWN: 5 mores days to lose 2.5lbs. I will lose 26 lbs (11 weeks) by xgiving and get a blue ray player as reward.:drinker:
  • czewwhat
    czewwhat Posts: 8,715
    You said the drugs word, report him to the cops, he is worthless to you and your mom, they will take him where he belongs. and you can do it anonymous !
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