Young mom (not) looking forward to SUMMER!

Hello all! :flowerforyou: I feel a little silly posting topics and such, but I feel like if I'm going to stick with the weight loss this time I'm going to have to give it my all, and put myself WAY in there. I'm 21 years old but I feel like I'm 40 because I don't want to do ANYTHING! My weight has me extremely self conscious, to the point where I think of having to go to the beach in the summer makes me want to cry. Currently I'm 155.6 pounds, and between 5'3 - 5'4. I had my daughter a little over 2 years ago, and after having her I was about 180! (wow) throughout my life I always felt a little chunky, but looking back I couldn't imagine thinking that about myself now if I was the size I was then. :blushing:
About a year ago, I decided it was time to do something about my body, as it really was affecting my home life with boyfriend & daughter as I wasn't any fun at all! I started counting calories, and the weight basically melted off of me. I was down to 148 in a few months, and was semi - satisfied with myself. :drinker: I had separated myself from most of my friends, as they were smaller than me so I wouldn't want to go out with them because I would look horrible next to them. Albeit all of my insecurities, I did keep going - for a while. Then slowly, but surely, I fell off the wagon. :explode: Now, here I am back to 155 (basically 156) and I feel bigger than ever.
Back on the horse, now but needing some motivation and the knowledge that people are watching what I'm doing - so I don't try and cheat myself out & take the lazy (and fat) way back to unhappiness! Summer is only a few months away and I REALLY want to be able to go to the beach and not hide behind a towel, especially since my daughter LOVES to swim, and run, and I want to be behind her smiling, not sulking!
There it is, my life story - long and probably boring. But at least I gave it a shot!
Feel free to add me (and holler at me for my bad food choices) I need it! Thanks a lot for your time!