Long distance relationships

He is reluctant to commit..."how", exactly? Commit to dating you exclusively?

I would think if he saw you as "the one" - distance would not stop him from committing to you and/or making sure you didn't 'get away'.

And I know what I'm talking about...I am living this situation right now, except he made sure to let his intentions be known right away (and we're farther apart than 90 minutes!).

He is reluctant to commit..."how", exactly? Commit to dating you exclusively?

Yeah, I guess. His only hang up is that I don't live there. He said if I did, it would be different--he would be interested in pursuing an exclusive relationship with me.

Some people aren't cut out for the long distance thing, but I will stand by my original statement; that if he REALLY wanted to be with you that 90 minutes wouldn't stop him.

Have a chat about it, but I wouldn't be moving if I were you...sorry.

He is reluctant to commit..."how", exactly? Commit to dating you exclusively?

I would think if he saw you as "the one" - distance would not stop him from committing to you and/or making sure you didn't 'get away'.

And I know what I'm talking about...I am living this situation right now, except he made sure to let his intentions be known right away (and we're farther apart than 90 minutes!).

^^^^this

I agree, distance should not be an issue (90 min) is not far at all. You might want to take a step back and examine the relationship. just my thoughts on the subject.

I'm sorry but 90min away and he's reluctant to commit? Bad past relationship or not, 90 min is nothing.

My husband lived in California and I live in BC, Canada. Fastest way to go see him was over an hour drive to the airport, then a 2 hour plane ride and both of us committed even with both of us having super crappy past relationships involving cheating and lying and all the other fun stuff.

90min is a drop in the hat.

Life is short and no one gets out alive so you need to be able to grab life by the horns while you're here. If he sees this relationship as having potential then he needs to commit, otherwise he needs to tell you that he doesn't see that.

But that's just me.

He is reluctant to commit..."how", exactly? Commit to dating you exclusively?

I would think if he saw you as "the one" - distance would not stop him from committing to you and/or making sure you didn't 'get away'.

And I know what I'm talking about...I am living this situation right now, except he made sure to let his intentions be known right away (and we're farther apart than 90 minutes!).

^^^^this

I agree, distance should not be an issue (90 min) is not far at all. You might want to take a step back and examine the relationship. just my thoughts on the subject.

If I was only 90 minutes away...HELL that is a no brainer I would be there every day and night until I could be there PERMANANTLY

That has got to be hard, but if you love each other it will work. I also did he long distance thing and now I am married to the man, although I have tried it in the past and it hasn't always worked out, so I guess it depends on how you both feel. You said he might be the one, does he feel the same? I ask, because if you both have intentions of making it work, 90 minutes won't stop you. I met my husband and knew after one date he was something special. A few months later he got a job in New Mexico (we were in Colorado) and took the job, he asked me if I would consider moving. This was tough, my friends and family all live in Colorado but he was special and I could see myself wanting to be with him, no matter what. So, I said yes BUT I moved the date out for 6 months, I needed to save up money and part of me wanted to see how the long distance thing went. We saw each other every two weeks even though we were 6 hours apart. So, if he is special don't let him go without a fight. If you don't try or are to scared to try you may miss out on something awesome.

If he felt the same way about you, being 90 minutes away wouldn't stop him from committing.

Problem is, the 90 minutes that separate us. He is reluctant to commit because of the distance (long story, but it is a legit concern carried over from his last relationship), and I won't move unless he commits. It's a horrible "catch-22." Would love to hear what you all think. Right now we've just decided to keep things as they are: continue to talk every day and visit once or twice a month... But I think this guy is "the one;" I don't want to be in limbo forever.

I dont see the catch 22 tbh. If he's saying he will commit if you move in with him, then the choice is yours. Move!

If you think he's the ONE, then what you waiting for? Moving 90mins up the road is hardly a sacrifice. If it doesnt work out then you move back. If it works then Some people move across entire continents to be with the ONE. Just go for it :flowerforyou:

I'm a little skeptical about him not wanting to commit because of 90 silly little minutes.
Yes, gasoline is expensive and time is short, but I honestly don't think that 90 minutes would stop anyone from being exclusive in a relationship, even if you don't see each other that often.
I can see why you wouldn't want to move in with him, since perhaps you'd have a long commute to work every single day, but what is preventing him from being exclusive? I don't understand. If you're the one he wants, then he would want to be committed even if you don't visit each other that often. I'm not doubting that he has strong feelings for you, but I think there may be more to this story than he's letting on, and it should be something that you two need to have a serious talk about.

I'm in a very similar situation right now: my boyfriend lives 2 hours away and we both go to college, so we're busy and broke most of the time, so we see each other roughly once a month. Last weekend, I called him because I felt sick like at 2am. Nothing says "I love you" like driving 2 hours to rub your girlfriend's back as she vomits.