Rules of Marriage..

NSQuintana
NSQuintana Posts: 207
edited December 18 in Chit-Chat
Slight problem here. I'm getting married this year and I'm just curious to know something. Is it sinful/immoral to flirt once you're married, because I am the biggest flirt and this might be one hell of a bad habit to break. Please Help!
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Replies

  • iam_thatdude
    iam_thatdude Posts: 1,266 Member
    Slight problem here. I'm getting married this year and I'm just curious to know something. Is it sinful/immoral to flirt once you're married, because I am the biggest flirt and this might be one hell of a bad habit to break. Please Help!

    Thats what PMs are for.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Slight problem here. I'm getting married this year and I'm just curious to know something. Is it sinful/immoral to flirt once you're married, because I am the biggest flirt and this might be one hell of a bad habit to break. Please Help!

    Tha't between you and your husband. If he doesn't have a problem with it, then it's not a problem. If he does, and you continue to flirt anyways, it may start off as a small problem, but it will escalate into a big problem.

    A discussion is definitely warranted.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    There is flirting because it's your personality, and then there is flirting because you want attention or whatever.

    My rule is, if you feel the need to hide it from your other half then you probably shouldn't be doing it.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    There is flirting because it's your personality, and then there is flirting because you want attention or whatever.

    My rule is, if you feel the need to hide it from your other half then you probably shouldn't be doing it.

    So....I can't poop anymore? jk

    Honestly, if he already knows that you are flirtatious and doesn't have a problem with it now, it shouldn't change just because you have a ceremony.
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    Slight problem here. I'm getting married this year and I'm just curious to know something. Is it sinful/immoral to flirt once you're married, because I am the biggest flirt and this might be one hell of a bad habit to break. Please Help!
    If you don't act on it and it doesn't bother your fiance/husband then it's not a problem.

    I've been married almost 19 years. I'm a huge flirt. I flirt with my BIL. I flirt with my sister's girlfriend (I am 100% completely straight). I flirt with my husband's best friend. I even flirt with some of my tax clients. One in particular declared his love for me when I got him a VERY large refund. I replied "Pshaw! You only love me for my mind." He laughed. Everyone knows nothing at all is ever going to happen. It's fun and funny.

    Now, if my husband got upset by it I would not do it. That would be disrespectful to him and our marriage. His feelings are much more important to me than flirting.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    Slight problem here. I'm getting married this year and I'm just curious to know something. Is it sinful/immoral to flirt once you're married, because I am the biggest flirt and this might be one hell of a bad habit to break. Please Help!

    Tha't between you and your husband. If he doesn't have a problem with it, then it's not a problem. If he does, and you continue to flirt anyways, it may start off as a small problem, but it will escalate into a big problem.

    A discussion is definitely warranted.

    This exactly. And this will hold true for MANY things in your marriage. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If the people in it are ok, then that's ok. If not, you will eventually fail. Marriage is about respect, but only the two of you can determine what is disrespectful to each other. Start having these conversations now. Setting boundaries in your marriage is critical, and if you can't talk about where those boundaries are, then you shouldn't be getting married.
  • daveclrk58
    daveclrk58 Posts: 258
    I believe marriage as a commitment made in the prescense of God. As far as being flirty, you have to be open and honest with your spouse. I've learned the hard way that hiding things only brings trouble to the marriage. If he's cool with you being flirty (and you can avoid cheating), then flirt away. If he has a problem with it, then either you have to avoid flirting or not marry him. Hope that little bit of advice helps.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Slight problem here. I'm getting married this year and I'm just curious to know something. Is it sinful/immoral to flirt once you're married, because I am the biggest flirt and this might be one hell of a bad habit to break. Please Help!

    Tha't between you and your husband. If he doesn't have a problem with it, then it's not a problem. If he does, and you continue to flirt anyways, it may start off as a small problem, but it will escalate into a big problem.

    A discussion is definitely warranted.

    This exactly. And this will hold true for MANY things in your marriage. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If the people in it are ok, then that's ok. If not, you will eventually fail. Marriage is about respect, but only the two of you can determine what is disrespectful to each other. Start having these conversations now. Setting boundaries in your marriage is critical, and if you can't talk about where those boundaries are, then you shouldn't be getting married.

    ^^^^^^^^Exactly what she said.
  • LemonsAndCoffee
    LemonsAndCoffee Posts: 313 Member
    There is flirting because it's your personality, and then there is flirting because you want attention or whatever.

    My rule is, if you feel the need to hide it from your other half then you probably shouldn't be doing it.



    I second this (or 3rd cause i haven't read through all the posts yet). I flirt but that's just who I am - not because I'm looking to fill some void. Hubby doesn't mind - unless it was to get out of control.
  • bikinibeliever
    bikinibeliever Posts: 832 Member
    Slight problem here. I'm getting married this year and I'm just curious to know something. Is it sinful/immoral to flirt once you're married, because I am the biggest flirt and this might be one hell of a bad habit to break. Please Help!

    Tha't between you and your husband. If he doesn't have a problem with it, then it's not a problem. If he does, and you continue to flirt anyways, it may start off as a small problem, but it will escalate into a big problem.

    A discussion is definitely warranted.

    This exactly. And this will hold true for MANY things in your marriage. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If the people in it are ok, then that's ok. If not, you will eventually fail. Marriage is about respect, but only the two of you can determine what is disrespectful to each other. Start having these conversations now. Setting boundaries in your marriage is critical, and if you can't talk about where those boundaries are, then you shouldn't be getting married.

    ^^^^^^^^Exactly what she said.




    ^^^^^^Agree & agree!!
  • Lifting_chick
    Lifting_chick Posts: 275 Member
    If you are a flirt your soon to be better be fine with it...cause if he is a jealous type there will be problems........Flirting is harmless and innocent usless you make it more
  • NSQuintana
    NSQuintana Posts: 207
    It's purely innocent, and I wouldn't dare act on it. It's all in the name of fun. He knows my personality and that I'm flirt. Thanks for the advice everyone! I was just wondering because some things are no brainer like you shouldn't cheat or beat your spouse. This was just one of the many grey areas I needed some clarification on. Thanks again!
  • xPOOKiEx
    xPOOKiEx Posts: 156 Member
    My fiance and I have never flirted with anyone else. We have just always had a mutual agreement that someone in a committed relationship with someone should not flirt with anyone else. As they said before, if you feel like you need to hide it, don't do it.

    Talk to your man :) after all the marriage is all about you and him :)
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    But hang on - if You are getting married, then it is safe to assume you've been together for a while...so he should know what you're like. If you're having to change your behaviour because of marriage you were doing it wrong in the first place.
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    A conversation worth having before you hit the aisle....
  • AlSalzman
    AlSalzman Posts: 296 Member
    What is this "immoral" that you speak of?
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
    Discuss with your partner and define "flirting" between the two of you. If you have to ask if it's wrong, it probably is.
  • txbutterfly69
    txbutterfly69 Posts: 115 Member
    If your husband has issues with that, it will be a problem.
  • perfect10isha
    perfect10isha Posts: 200 Member
    This is a convo you should have with hubby, there's no set rules about these things. Like some couples are comfortable with their spouse having opposite sex friends, while some are not. I'm sure your husband knows you're a flirt but you should never assume he knows what/how you act/talk with other people, specifically men. Like everyone else said, talk to him, maybe even think of a scenario and ask a hypothetical question to open up a convo about it.
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    Discuss with your partner and define "flirting" between the two of you. If you have to ask if it's wrong, it probably is.

    This! I think you should get it out in the open. Maybe write it into your vows!! :laugh:
  • aj_31
    aj_31 Posts: 994 Member
    There is flirting because it's your personality, and then there is flirting because you want attention or whatever.

    My rule is, if you feel the need to hide it from your other half then you probably shouldn't be doing it.

    ^^This.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    It really depends on what you mean by flirting.

    Suggestive talk that might mislead someone is wrong.

    Saying that someone looks really nice is OK.
  • Steelheart7
    Steelheart7 Posts: 1,056
    First rule of fight club .. uh marriage .. don't do anything you wouldn't want him to do.
  • MelissR75
    MelissR75 Posts: 735 Member
    There is flirting because it's your personality, and then there is flirting because you want attention or whatever.

    My rule is, if you feel the need to hide it from your other half then you probably shouldn't be doing it.



    I second this (or 3rd cause i haven't read through all the posts yet). I flirt but that's just who I am - not because I'm looking to fill some void. Hubby doesn't mind - unless it was to get out of control.

    ^^This
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
    I'm sure you husband-to-be knows exactly who you are and accepts you this way. I wouldn't change a thing,
  • Tybalt71
    Tybalt71 Posts: 1,064 Member
    Slight problem here. I'm getting married this year and I'm just curious to know something. Is it sinful/immoral to flirt once you're married, because I am the biggest flirt and this might be one hell of a bad habit to break. Please Help!
    Sorry to hear, where do i send the flowers?, dont do it, monogamy is the ideas of HIGH CLERICS & Virgin Preistesses-Ty
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    But hang on - if You are getting married, then it is safe to assume you've been together for a while...so he should know what you're like. If you're having to change your behaviour because of marriage you were doing it wrong in the first place.

    ^

    Also- every couple is its own precedent. You two make up your own rules. Make marriage work for you guys, dont force yourself to work with what marriage should be by geeral impersonal rules and standards.
  • gomisskellygo
    gomisskellygo Posts: 635 Member
    But hang on - if You are getting married, then it is safe to assume you've been together for a while...so he should know what you're like. If you're having to change your behaviour because of marriage you were doing it wrong in the first place.


    Win!
  • hjohn09
    hjohn09 Posts: 9
    I couldnt agree more with your comment. That is EXACTLY what I say!
  • still_crafty
    still_crafty Posts: 682 Member
    But hang on - if You are getting married, then it is safe to assume you've been together for a while...so he should know what you're like. If you're having to change your behaviour because of marriage you were doing it wrong in the first place.

    ^^^ this. He should know AND accept your nature by now but just to be sure, you should probably have a chat about what kinds of "changes" he is expecting once you two are married. "that was fine before we were married BUT now you are my wife" and watch out for "I didn't mind it before but you are a wife AND mother now"

    as long as you know what he's expecting then you can be prepared.
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