The Double Standard
mynameiscarrie
Posts: 963 Member
After reading a thread about a success story I am seriously shocked about the double standard going on here. This person looked amazing. This person looked healthy. And people commented saying "You're a skeleton" and "you're way to skinny" when, in reality, this person wasn't. This person didn't look sick or starved.
Flip this situation to someone overweight. No one would ever say "Great progress, but you're still overweight/fat/obese/whatever"
Watch what you say to people please. Seriously. It's a ridiculous double standard and it's hurtful. Kinda goes along with the "real women have curves" saying.
/End Rant.
Flip this situation to someone overweight. No one would ever say "Great progress, but you're still overweight/fat/obese/whatever"
Watch what you say to people please. Seriously. It's a ridiculous double standard and it's hurtful. Kinda goes along with the "real women have curves" saying.
/End Rant.
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Replies
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I completely agree. Skinny bashing is completely okay, but fat bashing would get someone banned.
When I see a success story of someone who is at their goal weight but still over weight there is NO way i think or say "You're still fat though!!!" Never. ever.
Apparently being in the lower end of the healthy range is disgusting around here.0 -
How is, "I think you look too thin but great job on reaching your goals!" the same as "skinny bashing"?
Do we want a bunch of knee-jerk, potentially inauthentic compliments or do we want the truth?0 -
I don't consider that skinny bashing. The "you're a skeleton!" or "This is not attractive at all" Is a little unnecessary though i think0
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How is, "I think you look too thin but great job on reaching your goals!" the same as "skinny bashing"?
Do we want a bunch of knee-jerk, potentially inauthentic compliments or do we want the truth?
it's exactly the same as saying "i think you look fat still but great job on reaching your goals!"
same exact thing.0 -
Yes and No. It's a learning process for all of us.
For thinner people seeking and/or losing more weight to get thinner, they don't understand the struggles and social issues that come with being overweight.
With heavier (I'm not P.C. so we will say fat) people it is a learning process for us to not see thin people as too thin, but that they can be healthy at those lower weights. Our mind (at least mine didn't) operate like that. I couldn't for the life of me understand why I friend wanted to get thinner than she already was. I thought she would be too thin, but she isn't, and now I have a new perspective, and I'm happy about that.
Skinny/Fat bashing isn't okay. However; someone will always be there bashing and someone will be there to be bashed, so thick skin required especially posting in a public forum. Be proud of your own accomplishments because not everyone else will be.0 -
Well said0
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How is, "I think you look too thin but great job on reaching your goals!" the same as "skinny bashing"?
Do we want a bunch of knee-jerk, potentially inauthentic compliments or do we want the truth?
it's exactly the same as saying "i think you look fat still but great job on reaching your goals!"
same exact thing.
Agree0 -
Yes and No. It's a learning process for all of us.
For thinner people seeking and/or losing more weight to get thinner, they don't understand the struggles and social issues that come with being overweight.
With heavier (I'm not P.C. so we will say fat) people it is a learning process for us to not see thin people as too thin, but that they can be healthy at those lower weights. Our mind (at least mine didn't) operate like that. I couldn't for the life of me understand why I friend wanted to get thinner than she already was. I thought she would be too thin, but she isn't, and now I have a new perspective, and I'm happy about that.
Skinny/Fat bashing isn't okay. However; someone will always be there bashing and someone will be there to be bashed, so thick skin required especially posting in a public forum. Be proud of your own accomplishments because not everyone else will be.
Well said.0 -
Yes and No. It's a learning process for all of us.
For thinner people seeking and/or losing more weight to get thinner, they don't understand the struggles and social issues that come with being overweight.
With heavier (I'm not P.C. so we will say fat) people it is a learning process for us to not see thin people as too thin, but that they can be healthy at those lower weights. Our mind (at least mine didn't) operate like that. I couldn't for the life of me understand why I friend wanted to get thinner than she already was. I thought she would be too thin, but she isn't, and now I have a new perspective, and I'm happy about that.
Skinny/Fat bashing isn't okay. However; someone will always be there bashing and someone will be there to be bashed, so thick skin required especially posting in a public forum. Be proud of your own accomplishments because not everyone else will be.
Well said.
I agree, I've had people I barely know label me as 'anorexic' because I'm thin, even though I eat a healthy, nutritious diet. People will judge you, but because I am comfortable with myself I can laugh those people off.0 -
I give you a 10.......wait wrong thread, my bad.0
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Agreed. I'm 108 and I still have to work hard to stay skinny and loose weight. My step-moms fat friends would all comment how skinny I was, even though my anorexic self had to work for it. Little did they know. It kind of hurt that they were praising me for it.0
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The concept of - if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all - does not apply in these threads it seems...0
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It is NEVER ok to comment negatively on a person looks.
People who like to put down slim people are just as much buttholes as people who put down fat people.0 -
Yes and No. It's a learning process for all of us.
For thinner people seeking and/or losing more weight to get thinner, they don't understand the struggles and social issues that come with being overweight.
With heavier (I'm not P.C. so we will say fat) people it is a learning process for us to not see thin people as too thin, but that they can be healthy at those lower weights. Our mind (at least mine didn't) operate like that. I couldn't for the life of me understand why I friend wanted to get thinner than she already was. I thought she would be too thin, but she isn't, and now I have a new perspective, and I'm happy about that.
Skinny/Fat bashing isn't okay. However; someone will always be there bashing and someone will be there to be bashed, so thick skin required especially posting in a public forum. Be proud of your own accomplishments because not everyone else will be.
i agree with a lot of this, but at the same time it doesn't make it ok (like you said at the end)
I've been skinny AND fat bashed. I understand what it's like to be small and want to lose 1-2 more pounds and i understand what it's like to be fat and wonder why skinny people want to lose weight. I've learned that it's not my business or my place at all to judge. Progress is progress.0 -
I give you a 10.......wait wrong thread, my bad.
I give you an 11... bonus points for the bike.0 -
You should see me pop a wheelie on this badboyI give you a 10.......wait wrong thread, my bad.
I give you an 11... bonus points for the bike.
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The concept of - if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all - does not apply in these threads it seems...
Success stories are where i think this is very important ^^
Everyone of course is allowed to have an opinion, but that doesn't mean that it should always be shared.0 -
I chose not to reply to that thread.
I'll say something here.
Issues of weight are serious. For health reasons, and emotional reasons. There's a delicate balance between weight gain and weight loss, between health and illness, in some cases.
We should all be mindful of that.
Losing weight is great, most of the time.
Gaining weight is great, some of the time (given our statistics as a planet these days).
And, the internet is an amazingly powerful forum. It can do great good, and great harm, and those posting aren't necessarily in control of the powers they possess.
I also think there's a buddhist balance: do I need to say it, or does it need to be said. Each of us needs to ask that question before we post: does it NEED to be said, or do *I* just need to say it. If it's the latter. Consider carefully. If it's the former, consider carefully. In other words: is what I want to say about them, or about me?
Namaste.0
This discussion has been closed.
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