Rude mother-in-law

Hah! I know how you feel. My future mother in law is a selfish, abusive, alcoholic b*tch. I lived with her and my fiance for almost a year and since she abused the crap out of us I barely even acknowledge her existence since I moved out.

All she has done to my fiance since he was 9 is drunkenly abuse him every night, drive him to near suicide like his father and treat me like a piece of crap. Shes called me fat, useless and *****es behind my back but is the most fake person to my face. Shes been trying to find someone to be with for ten years and this is mean even by my standards, but I hope she dies alone with no one else to love her like she made my fiance feel. I have to deal with him telling me some nights shes kicked him out and refused to let him back in, and one night she kicked (literally) our cat Tonks out the door because he wanted something to eat.

Once we get married I dont want to see her again. I havent touched a drop of alcohol since and dispise it.

You've been great to her! And, great job on losing 22 lb.! Congrats on both. Never mind her comment about you being "big.". I don't even think she meant it to hurt you. It was thoughtless, but she was ripping on someone else at the time (ex D in L). I like the suggestion to "hear" thank you'd when she says these thoughtless things. She definitely isn't saying the right things, but you are doing all the right things. Don't change! Carry on with your kindness and your weight loss. Smart move to vent here about it. Your hubs won't want to hear it, and she won't change. The nice part is that you don't have to. You are on the right track already, every way you look at it. :-)

Hah! I know how you feel. My future mother in law is a selfish, abusive, alcoholic b*tch. I lived with her and my fiance for almost a year and since she abused the crap out of us I barely even acknowledge her existence since I moved out.

All she has done to my fiance since he was 9 is drunkenly abuse him every night, drive him to near suicide like his father and treat me like a piece of crap. Shes called me fat, useless and *****es behind my back but is the most fake person to my face. Shes been trying to find someone to be with for ten years and this is mean even by my standards, but I hope she dies alone with no one else to love her like she made my fiance feel. I have to deal with him telling me some nights shes kicked him out and refused to let him back in, and one night she kicked (literally) our cat Tonks out the door because he wanted something to eat.

Once we get married I dont want to see her again. I havent touched a drop of alcohol since and dispise it.

I'm sorry your experience with your MIL wasn't great but that really wasn't helpful to the thread.

Anyway, she most likely doesn't realise that what she's saying is hurtful and insensitive. When she's feeling better why not try having a quiet word with her about it?

Thats mother in laws for you.....ive heard some hurtful things from mine but i just ignore her and continue being kind and respectful. I won't bring myself to her level. So that way you will be the better person, feels good knowing that!

Not all mother in laws are like that tho...some are so sweet that will treat their daughter in law like their own.

Sorry didnt mean to leave my input without a reply. Basically, MIL with be MIL and theres not much you can do about it. She is probably very happy for you for losing weight. At least you are doing something about it... If she knows you are losing she probably didnt mean any intentional harm... If she mentions it again either tell her you think its disrespectful or leave the room.. Talk to your husband about it, see if he can talk to her?

Your MIL sounds like a vary bitter person who isn't necessarily bearing down on you but on everyone.

Don't take it personally, in fact, don't take it at all.

Perhaps she is the one who needs a little lecture for perspective. Ask her how she would feel if you told her she wouldn't have contracted cancer if she had only made better life choices. Tell her you care but that you don't care for the insulting monologue. Tell her to relax and that she needs to concentrate on her own health and welfare so she can recover. Stress does not help cancer patients.

Be firm with her. Make it clear under no uncertain terms will you put up with either insult or insinuation from her.

Look...you married her son...not her. When it comes to you having to bend over backwards to maintain a crappy relationship with the MIL, you have the option of bailing out of a sinking ship. She can be taken with a grain of salt or not at all.

Keep your momentum.

My Great Aunt used to take care of her MIL and I would sit with her when my aunt needed to run out. This woman knew every slur that ever existed and she would watched the Jerry Springer show shouting these slurs at the TV.... NOT the way I wanted to spend my summer. She was the most hateful woman I've ever met, (and I pray I ever meet), but there was no fixing it. Telling her to stop or that she was being rude didn't work, it just got her worked up and boy could she hold a grude. There was nothing wrong with her mentally, she was in her 90s and not changing. And yes the world was different 90 years ago, but I'm pretty sure this ease of spitting out hate was quite unique to her. (mind you we stopped taking her out in public)

Anyway my point is, people have to want to change and strive to be better. If it continues to bother you I would tell hubby and let him know it bothers you. if he isn't interested in talking with her (since it's his mother) then after she has healed maybe say something to her privately when a comment is made. Maybe something like "So if I ever gained weight is that what you'd say about me?"

This is not easy, I hope someone here has some inspiration. Good Luck!!!

My mum in law to be is rude about 'fat' people
Sadly she has womb cancer had a hstorectomy yesterday, I've been supporting her a lot
2 days ago she was talking about her ex daughter inlaw she said she was a big girl and ended up double the size she said she started off big like you then just became double the size

I've sat with her whilst she's been poorly phoning up constantly going to hospital with her and comforting get when upset

I offered to let her & her husband stay with us from Sunday to look after her as he's ill,
but now she's made me feel really upset and I don't feel like seeing her

She's very rude about larger people & she knows I've worked hard to lose this weight , I'm never rude about her and she's largish herself.

I'm not over reacting as the things she says about fat people are awful.

I'm very sad she after my support has made me a comparison

OHHHHH we must be related.... (By the way.. your profile name - Sandown12 - are you in Sandown, NH?)

My mother-in-law is NOTORIOUS for assumptions, judgements, nasty comments - you name it, she does it. Her sister just got diagnosed with stage 2 uterine cancer last month. The only thing she could say was "well know wonder she hasnt been losing weight, its probably a huge tumor"... she often is spiteful when she listens to her talk. Never has anything nice to say... and this is only about her sister.... That sister, and her husband were the only two people on that side of the family to welcome me to the family and actually got to know me... so - yeah, I took great issue with my MIL's comments... So I kicked her out of our home.

She gives the deer-in-the-headlights look of "WHAT?" I told her off and told her she is not welcome in this house if she continues to bash her sister in front of me like that and how DARE she smartmouth's anything about her difficulty in losing weight ....

MIL also has made some nasty comments about me to the point that my husband has told her to F-off "thats my wife you are talking about - I suggest you shut the hell up"... we told her to not come around any time soon until she gets her act straightened out. She tried coming around - only because she needed her car repaired... but hubby sent her off.... He refuses to be used and he refuses to listen to her bashing me.

This is the same woman who criticized everything I served for Thanksgiving also - all FRESH, HEALTHY FOODS.... and she was told she could bring anything she wanted to the table that she liked... and to think I took pity on her when she didnt have enough money to make her own turkey dinner...

Nahhhh, you dont have to put up with anything.....

I'm in the uk hun
She's sounds awful at least your husbands standing by you x

Ahhhhh, well unfortunately New England, USA stole alot of the UK towns/city names LOL!


MIL or no MIL, no one should have to put up with such negative banter.... Im just a zero tolerant person when it comes to that garbage!

He knows what they're like (my husband gets like this when I mention his mum & her being "devoid of human feelings") & its hard to hear what he already knows it. I'm sure he wasn't angry with you but them (as you are right)