Advice on how to deal with a friend.

flittershy30
flittershy30 Posts: 6
in Motivation and Support
I need some advice. I'm suppose to be in a friends wedding in November. Last night I received an email from her telling the bridesmaids that she is giving us a deadline of the end of may to order our dresses. This normally wouldn't bother me expect that last weekend we talked on the phone about this whole thing and she told me we were going to wait until at least the end of June to order them. The main reason this bothers me is she is fully aware of my diet. She knows that I have lost almost 30 lbs since Jan 1 and told me she would wait to order so I and her two sisters could lose more weight. I'm doing this whole lifestyle change not only to look better but for my health, I have a 2 year old son to think about. Anyways I need some advice on what I should do. I don't know if i should just go ahead and order the dress to keep her happy or if I should tell her I'm going to wait a couple more months.

I feel like the reason why she is doing this is because she and her sisters are all larger girls and they have no idea how to stick to a real diet for more than 2 weeks. I tried to invite them to this site to be friends but all 3 refused. I think it almost might be the fact that she bought her dress 5 months ago so she can't loose too much without having to take the dress in. I feel like she is trying to tell me that I'm not aloud to lose the weight and that hurts. This is the first time in my life I have stuck to a diet for more than a month. When the 3 of them were in my wedding I just told them what dress to get and didn't give them any kind of deadline to get them other than what the store said which I think was 1 or 2 months. The store she wants to buy from says 1-2 months so I really don't understand why she wants to order so early other than to stop my diet. That and her insane fear that none of them will fit so we will all have to send them back and get new ones. This store does not offer refunds, they will only repair flaws so it's not like I can order it now and get a smaller size later, I would have to have it altered.

TLDR On a diet, in a wedding in 6 months. Bride wants dresses ordered now. What should I do?

Thank you in advance for any advice, I know it's long but typing this helped me vent.

Replies

  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Order the dress and have it altered before the wedding. You'll probably have to, anyway.
  • Biggusburdus
    Biggusburdus Posts: 22 Member
    Order the dress and have it altered before the wedding. You'll probably have to, anyway.

    Hi, I agree with rml_16, order it for whatever reason that she wants it sorted now and pay a very good seamstress to take it in properly closer to the time!
    You will then look fab and she will wonder how you managed it!
    (Lol)
  • beanowl
    beanowl Posts: 6 Member
    I second rml_16. Just order the dress and have alterations done if needed. You shouldn't buy clothing that doesn't fit you yet (even if you're sure it'll fit by the deadline!) but sizing down a dress is pretty easy.
  • Glowbee
    Glowbee Posts: 68 Member
    I'm going to agree with everyone else here: order your dress, and alter it. She's got so much on her plate right now that she needs the "to-do" of those dresses being ordered scratched off her list. Also, life happens.. and those dresses need plenty of time to be shipped in and altered for everyone else as well.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    Go ahead and order. You could order a size smaller if you really feel you're going to lose the weight (that can be risky so seriously think about it). You can always take it somewhere else to be altered if you need to.
  • flittershy30
    flittershy30 Posts: 6
    Thank you all for your opinions. I will be ordering the dress by her deadline. Thanks again.
  • Cindym82
    Cindym82 Posts: 1,245 Member
    I need some advice. I'm suppose to be in a friends wedding in November. Last night I received an email from her telling the bridesmaids that she is giving us a deadline of the end of may to order our dresses. This normally wouldn't bother me expect that last weekend we talked on the phone about this whole thing and she told me we were going to wait until at least the end of June to order them. The main reason this bothers me is she is fully aware of my diet. She knows that I have lost almost 30 lbs since Jan 1 and told me she would wait to order so I and her two sisters could lose more weight. I'm doing this whole lifestyle change not only to look better but for my health, I have a 2 year old son to think about. Anyways I need some advice on what I should do. I don't know if i should just go ahead and order the dress to keep her happy or if I should tell her I'm going to wait a couple more months.

    I feel like the reason why she is doing this is because she and her sisters are all larger girls and they have no idea how to stick to a real diet for more than 2 weeks. I tried to invite them to this site to be friends but all 3 refused. I think it almost might be the fact that she bought her dress 5 months ago so she can't loose too much without having to take the dress in. I feel like she is trying to tell me that I'm not aloud to lose the weight and that hurts. This is the first time in my life I have stuck to a diet for more than a month. When the 3 of them were in my wedding I just told them what dress to get and didn't give them any kind of deadline to get them other than what the store said which I think was 1 or 2 months. The store she wants to buy from says 1-2 months so I really don't understand why she wants to order so early other than to stop my diet. That and her insane fear that none of them will fit so we will all have to send them back and get new ones. This store does not offer refunds, they will only repair flaws so it's not like I can order it now and get a smaller size later, I would have to have it altered.

    TLDR On a diet, in a wedding in 6 months. Bride wants dresses ordered now. What should I do?

    Thank you in advance for any advice, I know it's long but typing this helped me vent.


    You can either a) tell her I understand you would like the dressed done by a certain date but with my life style change at the moment that date will not work for me and I want to make sure that I look good in that dress in the wedding so to do that I will have to order it by a different date, I hope you understand b) order the dress but talk to the ppl there and ask if you can not have it altered until a month before or when the last time you can get it altered would be and explain your situation.

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