Balancing fitness and my BF...

saracatherine89
saracatherine89 Posts: 291 Member
edited December 2024 in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone!

I was wondering how people have been able to balance time between their relationship and their workouts/fitness plans. I love my boyfriend to death, but he is an extremely unhealthy eater and does not go to the gym. Even when he does work out, it is usually playing team sports or lifting, whereas I am almost solely cardio and the occasional fitness DVD. We live about an hour apart, and we usually get together on weekends and one or two nights of the workweek. Between my full time job, other plans and seeing him, I feel like I don't have enough time to do anything I used to do anymore. Any advice??

Replies

  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    He can lift, you can cardio and then you guys can do stuff after.
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
    We go on long walks together. Instead of him doing my workouts, I do his.
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    I have this same problem. Fortunately, my boyfriend is into eating healthy because he just lost 51 lbs. I'll have to talk to him about exercising because we both need to do this.
  • igora_soma
    igora_soma Posts: 486
    I try to find workouts we can do together. When I started running my boyfriend got interested because it was time he could spend with me. Plus there is always a new challenge to take on with it. Maybe sign up for a mud run together this summer and start training together?
  • Mistykelly
    Mistykelly Posts: 47 Member
    My Husband and I have the same problem, he is in construction so the last thing he wants to do at night is work out.... I have found that I get to see him and do not feel like I am limiting myself by just putting aside 45 minutes out of each night to run and any other exercise I want do do I do in the morning after he leaves and before I go to work. I will also push myself to stay up a little later at night to hang out with him to get a couple extra minutes in. The juggle of life.... just gotta love it!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,043 Member
    Lol, wait till you have kids..................

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    [/quote]
  • neurochamp
    neurochamp Posts: 261 Member
    When we were dating, my husband and I were in a similar situation with distance and not seeing each other too often. He invited me to join a beach volleyball league with some of his friends and (despite the fact that I stink at volleyball) it was really fun and a great workout.
    If they're available where you are, summer beach volleyball, softball, kickball, or other social sports leagues are an excellent way to spend more time together while still getting in a workout. I know it's only a temporary fix, but maybe it's somewhere to start?
  • roslynds9
    roslynds9 Posts: 139 Member
    I'm quite fortunate that since I started doing MFP my BF has kind of jumped on the wagon and started losing as well. He still eats more unhealthily than I do but he's understanding if I decide to eat something different than him. He's also understanding if I need to take 30 mins out of our evening together to do my 30 day shred. Sometimes I use our nights together as my cheat night and just indulge in whatever he wants to eat for dinner. I also fit in exercise by doing a 15 minute mile walk around the block at lunch time at work.

    Bottom line is that if losing weight and being more healthy is important to you then he has to be understanding and supportive. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your health just because he fancies a burger for dinner. He'll either jump on board and benefit from being more healthy as well or he'll stick to his usual diet but learn to live with you choosing the healthy option. =)
  • imnotyourpal
    imnotyourpal Posts: 162 Member
    My boyfriend is manorexic, but we really had a problem before we moved in together because we lived an hour apart and he works nights. I was only able to see him twice a week and I'd lose 1.5 hours on those nights, when I got off at 6pm. I'd get to his house at 8, then we'd pass out. It was horrible.

    Now that we live together, I go in the morning on the days he'll be home at night, and we have so much more time together. Maybe that's what you should do....move in together. ;)
  • scott091501
    scott091501 Posts: 1,260 Member
    I'm in and out of the gym before my family wakes up for the most part.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    I have the same problem too :sad: Although my BF is only 20 minutes away. But balancing a full time job and his goofy work schedule has been challenging! And he doesn't work out and eats unhealthy. I wish I had some tips for you! Every once in awhile I'll coaxed him to the gym on like a Friday night when I normally wouldn't have a chance to workout because I would be hanging out with him at his house. Or when the weather warms up we go to hiking trails and get a lot of hiking in too. Sometimes I'll bring a workout DVD to his place too....and get a workout in that way too. it's hard..but if you can find something you both like to do together (hiking, biking, walking, running, yoga lol) it helps!
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    I have this same problem. Fortunately, my boyfriend is into eating healthy because he just lost 51 lbs. I'll have to talk to him about exercising because we both need to do this.


    Omg I love the dog? Is that a Puggle? My bf has a Puggle..they make nice pets:smile:
  • temp666777
    temp666777 Posts: 169
    FORGET about your BF and focus on yourself !
  • modernmom70
    modernmom70 Posts: 373 Member
    Lol, wait till you have kids..................

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    [/quote]

    :laugh:
  • saracatherine89
    saracatherine89 Posts: 291 Member
    Thanks for the advice, everyone!!

    I got SO CLOSE to getting him to sign up for the Color Run in Chicago with me this summer- but he is going away camping that weekend >:0

    We are going on a camping trip the weekend of Memorial Day and apparently there is a 5k happening on the campground. Hopefully I can coax him into doing that with me- it would be a great start!!

    My other problem is that both of our workout goals are completely opposite. I am trying to lose weight, and he is about 6'9 and very thin, so he is trying to gain weight and build muscle. And every time I try to get him to go to the gym with me, he complains about us going for too long...ugh! But what can you do....if this is the only complaint about our relationship I guess things could be worse!
  • westcoaster09
    westcoaster09 Posts: 38
    my boyfriend and I go walking or hiking together. When we do go to the gym together he either shows me how to do some strength training or I do my cardio and he does his lifting.
  • saracatherine89
    saracatherine89 Posts: 291 Member
    Lol, wait till you have kids..................

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    [/quote]

    Oh God.... I don't even want to think about having kids at least until I am 30, which is 8 years away. That is why I want to be thin while I still have the time :)
  • MissLuana
    MissLuana Posts: 356
    Not sure what time your gym opens or what time you have to be at work but maybe try going to the gym before work. My gym opens at 4:30am and I don't have to be at work until 8:30am. I have went to the gym prior to work on days that I know I'll be really busy after work. This way it all gets fit into the schedule.
  • Jaloth
    Jaloth Posts: 28
    This is hard I have a family too!! I always try to do excersice in the morning when everyone is out of the house. Plus one thing that I do and have been doing since for years now is getting the kids and husband out for a walk at night!! Sometimes we only go 10 minutes or 30 minutes depending on wheather and everyones moods!!!Do not stress over fitness just walk!!!
  • joannezuk
    joannezuk Posts: 153 Member
    No matter what your relationship is like, you have to take care of #1 before you think about anything else. You have probably found that when you're healthier, you're happier. In turn, you're a better partner (and you're modelling good behaviour for him, for your family, your friends, and coworkers). Part of taking care of yourself means setting aside the time to exercise.

    For you, it could be 5 nights a week, right after work, leaving your weekends free. Or put the times out there and let him know when you're not available. Whether it's your boyfriend or your friends, relationships take time, but nobody says you need to give up everything to maintain them. In fact, if you recruit your friends and bf to be your personal cheerleading section, then you'll get the support you need to maintain your healthy life. And you'll have better quality time when you do spend it with your loved ones.

    I'm thrilled that my bf is back to working out regularly. But even during the times when he wasn't, he was very supportive of me, pushing me gently to go the gym, never pressuring me to give up a workout to spend time with him. Knowing that he supports me being healthy is one of the best parts of our relationship.

    I know you're not thinking about kids now. But in 8 years when you are, it's critical that you a relationship with your partner that is supportive of your health....especially when life gets busy.

    You only get one body. Take care of it!
  • MrsPong
    MrsPong Posts: 580 Member
    Honestly i dont have this problem w my husband bc hes a marine and eats healthy and of course a workout freak. But I did lose track of "myself" when i got married and had my daughter. it took me about a year to figure somehing out...I felt guilty taking time away from my daughter and husband to workout. But i found when i did, i started to lose all the excess weight and became happy again

    Today now that i work full time and have a husband and daughter still, i feel guilty going to the gym after work bc i dont see my hubby or daughter all day. so i give up my sleep in the morning and go then. But try getting him to go with you, my husband would go with me at night if i couldnt handle mornings and I just have to keep thinking to mysef that my daughter needs a fit, healthy mom and a good role model in eating right and working out. She knew the word gym at 1year and half ;-)

    I say talk to him an him and let him kno what you have been thinking and how he can help you reach your goals and spend time with you! But most of all...its about you...you need to take care of you first. otherwise you'll always see him as what stopped you.
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