people can be so thoughtless

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TheNatKitchen
TheNatKitchen Posts: 33 Member
in Motivation and Support
So the other day my grandma called to tell me she thought I was pregnant because of all the weight I've gained. Now I don't see her often, so it's understandable that she would be surprised to see me bigger. But the day she was calling about (the day she noticed the difference) was my WEDDING DAY! :mad: Couldn't she just PRETEND that I looked good? I mean, I really thought I did...I assured her (through clenched teeth) that I wasn't pregnant.

Then today, my neighbor asked if I was pregnant, and when I told her I wasn't she said: "Oh, I thought you were. I guess you just look pregnant." :sad:

I am literally in tears. The worst part is that I'm working so hard to lose the weight I've gained. Sure, I've only lost 3.5 lbs so far, but I'm really working hard. I've struggled with my weight and body image for so long, I really don't need other people to tell me I look fat.

Replies

  • wks7777
    wks7777 Posts: 230
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    Geez im sorry girl, thats so inconsiderate of them, dont let people get to u, ur on the right track!
  • MissKim
    MissKim Posts: 2,853 Member
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    I'm sure you were gorgeous on your wedding day!! People can be thoughless. And kids are the greatest!! I have had several of my nieces and nephews ask if I had a baby in my belly. Just take that and use it to your advantage!! Use it to motivate you! Don't let people get you down!!
  • tubbytabbytales
    tubbytabbytales Posts: 5,883
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    I feel ya. I've gotten that too!

    use it as motivation!!! :flowerforyou:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    If that's you in your av, then you were stunning on your wedding day! :flowerforyou:

    I remember being told I shouldn't get on a amusement park ride because of "the baby". Nope, wasn't pregnant. :grumble:

    Use it as a motivator and not to get you down. :flowerforyou:
  • xeniasimms
    xeniasimms Posts: 72
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    Don't let them get you down. From what I can see in your pics, you look really beautiful and not even close to being pregnant. One thing about old people is that they often loose their tact, get a lttle dementia and just start saying and doing really random and weird stuff. :laugh: As far as your neighbor... I think neighbors are off their rockers most of the time. I don't think I've ever lived next door to a sane person or anyone whose opinion matter to me. :tongue: As long as you feel that you look good, that is all that matters. Anyway, who are grandma and your neighbor other than some regular ole flawed human beings? None of us are perfect!:flowerforyou:
  • vhardwick
    vhardwick Posts: 54
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    I'm so sorry! When I lost my weight my grandmother told me, "You look really good, I've never seen you thin before." Just consider it old age and don't worry too much about it.
  • pattitricia85
    pattitricia85 Posts: 376
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    judging from your profile pic, you looked gorgeous on your wedding day! People are so rude. At least you have manners...
  • TheNatKitchen
    TheNatKitchen Posts: 33 Member
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    Thanks you guys. I really needed the encouragement. You're right about kids too- my six year old always thinks I have a "little brother" for him in my belly. :wink: But he's so cute, you could never get mad him.
  • Resalyn
    Resalyn Posts: 528 Member
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    I think people like that should be shot. Then drowned. Then shot again.

    Sometimes people are just clueless. Other times people are just plain nasty. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know exactly how you feel. This past Christmas, I had hit my 30-lb loss mark - and was wearing something at my husband's family party that I hadn't worn in a long time - and I thought I looked pretty damn good. I felt like I looked damn good, too. I was being strong and feeling good helped me to avoid all the high calorie desserts at the party.

    Then one of his distant relatives (who had kinda been staring at me) comes up and pats my belly and says "I didn't know you guys were trying to get pregnant! When are you due?" She said this in front of a room full of people - and of course waited until there was a lull in conversation to say it. Sad thing is, she's morbidly obese - and should have known better.

    In fact, I'm sure she did know better. Everyone at the party was complimenting me all night on how great I looked - and I'm convinced she is just one of those people who lash out at others in jealous moments.

    I derailed myself at that point - almost in tears in the bathroom, not listening to my hubby telling me to just ignore her - I proceeded to have a piece of every single dessert at the party. Which is EXACTLY what she wanted to see happen.

    Don't do what I did. Don't let someone else's insensitivity or downright nastiness derail you. Stay on your plan, keep your head held high, and show them how strong you are. You're worth every ounce of effort you've already put into this journey. All the best.... :heart:
  • blackmamba886
    blackmamba886 Posts: 177 Member
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    Something similar happened to a woman that I'm friends with at work (although not on a day as important as that!). She got back from having her 2nd kid and some rude lady at work asked (really loudly in front of a bunch of people) if she was preg again (she had the other 2 right in a row). The reply was, "No, I'm just fat thank you." :laugh: She had me laughing so hard when she told me the story.
  • spiralgirl71
    spiralgirl71 Posts: 374 Member
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    I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Hugs to you. If your profile picture is from your wedding...you look gorgeous!!

    I've had something similar happen to me. My dad passed away last December. At his memorial service my uncle pointed to photos that were displayed. One was of me when I was 18 (20 years and 3 babies ago mind you) and told me "you could look cute like that again if you tried". I didn't know whether to scream or cry...I was so angry and hurt. Any type of comment like that is horrible...especially when it comes from a family member.
  • faty2X4
    faty2X4 Posts: 2
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    I've noticed that sometimes older people say weird things to people. Things that are just so inappropriate. I've noticed even the nicest of old people sometimes just really say things that are kind of mean. I wonder if that part of the brain that sensors what you say just gets messed up or something as you age. So sorry that happened.
  • starchild0612
    starchild0612 Posts: 12
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    I'm not gonna lie. That would upset me too, but please just keep your focus on what needs to be done - don't obssess over what others think. Just keep eating right and exercising and your self confidence will go through the roof! Good luck and don't look back!!


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  • heather0mc
    heather0mc Posts: 4,656 Member
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    :flowerforyou:
  • Innerglow
    Innerglow Posts: 1,074 Member
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    This has happened to all of u,.......... to make you feel better i'll tell you mine..................

    I've always been big(ish). It started with my brothers constant teasing when I was little(even though I wasn't fat, just baby chub) because of him I now constantly battle the temptation to put something yummy in my mouth even if i'm not hungry or I had a bady day! I started gaining weight once I hit high school because I quit playing soccer and volleyball. By the time I was 18 i was 215 lbs. I lost about 40 lbs because I was going to go on a cruise with me ENTIRE extended family! I kept the weight off and then about a year later I got pregnant with my dd Elliet! Therein all of my old habits came back to haunt me and I gained 75 lbs:noway:. A couple of months after I had her a lady at work asked me if I was pregnant again and I shook my head while nervously laughing! Here I am 30 lbs lighter at only 35 lbs from my pre-preggo weight. Use this idiot's statement and add it as fuel to you fire to keep on fighting. I think you looked beautiful on your wedding day!:flowerforyou:
  • annaliza
    annaliza Posts: 809
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    *hugs*

    You look great. Don't worry about it. It sucks that it was your wedding day but hey...there seems to be a lot more happening in your life to be thankful for.

    My mother is the same way.....opens her mouth without thinking then says things that hurts my feelings even though she really doesn't mean anything by it.

    And I've had people ask me the same thing - when are you due?. It always hurts, but I get over it.

    Good luck to you :flowerforyou:
  • 1harleygal
    1harleygal Posts: 226 Member
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    :flowerforyou: Please do not let anyones thoughtless words hurt you or keep you from doing this program! People don't think about how their words can affect someone, it is all about them and not anyone else! :flowerforyou:
  • katznketo
    katznketo Posts: 323 Member
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    funny you should bring this up. We were just talking about this on the thread 50+. My parents put me on a scale from the age of 10 to the day I moved out. They humiliated me everyday of my life.
    God love them, I guess they thought they were helping?

    I still can't get on a scale without committing refrigerator suicide. I stay away from people like that. They really do not deserve my time of my wonderfulness and neither do the people who hurt you. Surround yourself with loving people. Like us!:heart: Bless you, kc
  • faty2X4
    faty2X4 Posts: 2
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    I think that happens when people get old. They lose that part of their brain that kind of monitors what they say. I've seen that happen to a lot of women I know.
  • klaflamme
    klaflamme Posts: 109 Member
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    I lost 60 pounds a couple years ago. Sadly, I stopped eating good and exercising because I started online classes and didn't know how to manage my time. Since, I gain my weight in my stomach and booty, my "thin barbie look-a-like" co-worker thought I was pregnant. I have a feeling she was gossiping about it in the office, which was not cool because I am single w/o a boyfriend. The last thing I wanted was to have people talking behind my back at work. There was no big story. I simply gained a lot of the weight back. Sadly, I was only 30 pounds away from my goal when I went off my plan. Why, oh why, did I do that?

    Anyway, you look beautiful to all of us. We understand and we will be getting those nice compliments in the next few months when they see us in our new clothes looking great. WE WILL DO IT!!!

    :flowerforyou: Congrats on your wedding!!!

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