The Scale Hates Me: SO Depressed Today. HELP!!
sugarandspice27
Posts: 521 Member
Before I write this, let me preface this by saying that I know the world has bigger problems than my issues with the scale. I know that there are people right now, with no clean water and wondering where their next meal will come from or worse off, starving to death. In the grand scheme of things, my problem is so MINOR. I am AWARE of this.
That being said: I AM SO DEPRESSED TODAY ABOUT THE GOT DANG SCALE!!!!!!!!!! I can understand if I was cutting corners and cheating heavily but I WASN'T. I have been putting in the work. I'm eating at or under calories. I'm eating clean, hardly a cheat in sight and even when I do, it's been relatively mild. I've upped my workouts, started the 30 Day Shred. Been doing yoga, drinking my water, staying ultra, super it's-probably-annoying-but-I-don't-care positive. I've been focused, happy, motivated. My body seems like it's changing. My clothes feel like they fit better. I just overall FEEL BETTER as a human walking this earth.
Then I got on the scale for the first time in 2 weeks. +4.5lbs!!!! DEVASTATION! HIROSHIMA! MELT DOWN!! I cried in frustration. Why is my hard work not paying off?? My team here on MFP has been nothing but supportive and offering every possible answer for WHY I had this weight gain (water weight, eating carbs last night, too much sodium, my body getting used to a new fitness routine, building muscle, it's a different/new scale, throw the scale away, only go by measurements etc).
And while I know that it is SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for me to have gained 4.5lbs of fat (I would have had to have tanked over 15,000 EXTRA calories)- seeing the scale register higher for WHATEVER reason destroyed my psyche today. I'm literally in bed right now, under the covers with the lights out... at 7:54pm on a Saturday night. I can't shake the feeling of FAILURE & depression. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm eating too many calories and thinking about slashing my calories by 300.
I think this is more than just my issues with the scale. It represents my fear, my fear that deep down nothing I do will be successful. That no matter how hard I try, it won't make a difference in the end. I know that this is toxic thinking. And I tell people all the time to STOP IT. And now the shoe is on the other foot.
That being said: I AM SO DEPRESSED TODAY ABOUT THE GOT DANG SCALE!!!!!!!!!! I can understand if I was cutting corners and cheating heavily but I WASN'T. I have been putting in the work. I'm eating at or under calories. I'm eating clean, hardly a cheat in sight and even when I do, it's been relatively mild. I've upped my workouts, started the 30 Day Shred. Been doing yoga, drinking my water, staying ultra, super it's-probably-annoying-but-I-don't-care positive. I've been focused, happy, motivated. My body seems like it's changing. My clothes feel like they fit better. I just overall FEEL BETTER as a human walking this earth.
Then I got on the scale for the first time in 2 weeks. +4.5lbs!!!! DEVASTATION! HIROSHIMA! MELT DOWN!! I cried in frustration. Why is my hard work not paying off?? My team here on MFP has been nothing but supportive and offering every possible answer for WHY I had this weight gain (water weight, eating carbs last night, too much sodium, my body getting used to a new fitness routine, building muscle, it's a different/new scale, throw the scale away, only go by measurements etc).
And while I know that it is SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE for me to have gained 4.5lbs of fat (I would have had to have tanked over 15,000 EXTRA calories)- seeing the scale register higher for WHATEVER reason destroyed my psyche today. I'm literally in bed right now, under the covers with the lights out... at 7:54pm on a Saturday night. I can't shake the feeling of FAILURE & depression. I'm trying to convince myself that I'm eating too many calories and thinking about slashing my calories by 300.
I think this is more than just my issues with the scale. It represents my fear, my fear that deep down nothing I do will be successful. That no matter how hard I try, it won't make a difference in the end. I know that this is toxic thinking. And I tell people all the time to STOP IT. And now the shoe is on the other foot.
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Replies
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I am thinking since you adding work outs to your plan. It will take your body time to adjust.. I understanding being depressed been there and done that!! But you have to remember we are in this together and here to help and support you..Have to stay strong and break though the depression! You can do this!0
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Like you said, there is no scientific way that you gained 4.5 pounds of fat- clearly it is another issue at hand. I'd say it is probably a combination of things others have suggested to you, but more than likely the scale isn't properly calibrated. Or whichever scale you used before. Either way... you have lost weight, you can tell by how your body feels and by the fit of your clothes- THAT does not lie. The scale does. It is a piece of equipment that can and will fail. You have succeeded tremendously. If I lived in your city, I would pull your *kitten* out of bed and make you go dancing or something. You are better than a complicated piece of metal, and your body is changing for the better. You got this, you sexy lady.0
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. If I lived in your city, I would pull your *kitten* out of bed and make you go dancing or something. You are better than a complicated piece of metal, and your body is changing for the better.
And I LOVE DANCING!0 -
Step away from that scale!! It lies. Your weight can vary so much in any given day (I've been known to gain as much as 10 esp with TOM). It is not the whole picture so don't beat yourself up over it. How are you feeling. How do your clothes fit. What about body measurements? We focus way to much on that number and pressure ourselves to make that number change. The only way you can fail is to give up, so don't. You are doing a wonderful job. Make this a life long change in lifestyle and be patient, it will come. I hope that it is assuring for you that I often see the scale not budge or go up and sometimes for weeks then all of a sudden bamm! The weight drops. You are doing the right things, be patient and praise yourself for making positive changes.0
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If I lived in your city, I would pull your *kitten* out of bed and make you go dancing or something. You are better than a complicated piece of metal, and your body is changing for the better.
And I LOVE DANCING!
.........MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO OUT DANCING AND SHAKE YOUR WORRIES AWAY LIKE A CRAZY WONDERFUL PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I like my idea a lot. Do it. Do it. Do it.)0 -
Deep breath. I never trust a single reading on a scale. I can go up 3-4 lbs in one day, only to find myself actually on the losing side 4 days later. As your friends say, there are a veritable slew of reasons why you saw the gain. My advice is to keep up what you're doing and weigh yourself again in a couple of days. First thing in the morning before you eat anything.
Patience is what you need. Look at this as a long term process of becoming healthy, not a specific number on the scale. The number will follow, but it's not what's important.0 -
If I lived in your city, I would pull your *kitten* out of bed and make you go dancing or something. You are better than a complicated piece of metal, and your body is changing for the better.
And I LOVE DANCING!
.........MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO OUT DANCING AND SHAKE YOUR WORRIES AWAY LIKE A CRAZY WONDERFUL PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I like my idea a lot. Do it. Do it. Do it.)
I know... it's early enough to get ready still... It always cheers me up. But I don't want to go out and feel mopey either. Oh hell, I'll put on way too much make up and show far too much cleavage and own it.0 -
I know you've heard all sorts of great stuff so far so I'm going to offer a different idea. From the principles of Intuitive Eating, principle #1 "Reject the Diet Mentality. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating." Take this and apply it to the scale and get angry at how we've been conditioned to put so much hope and meaning into those damn numbers. Take the blame off yourself and get mad at the billion dollar diet industry that perpetuates these NUMBERS that are NOT the end all and be all indicator of our health. Be pissed off at all the propaganda and vile messages that have been shoved down our throats.
Be righteous in your healthy changes and celebrate what you've accomplished and don't allow all the external BS get to you! You are stronger than all the crap.0 -
Give it time, keep up what you are doing and don't slash your calories just yet... heck, it could even be that you aren't eating enough ? (not sure of your daily goal). Keep a close watch on sodium and sugar levels, keep as active as you can, and I am sure the scale will start to move in the right direction sooner rather than later.
Meanwhile, pull yourself out of bed, forget that stupid number for now, and remind yourself that you are so much more than a series of digits. Do something you enjoy, that you love, and treat yourself well, as in the end, you are worth it, regardless of what you weigh.0 -
I know you've heard all sorts of great stuff so far so I'm going to offer a different idea. From the principles of Intuitive Eating, principle #1 "Reject the Diet Mentality. Get angry at the lies that have led you to feel as if you were a failure every time a new diet stopped working and you gained back all of the weight. If you allow even one small hope to linger that a new and better diet might be lurking around the corner, it will prevent you from being free to rediscover Intuitive Eating." Take this and apply it to the scale and get angry at how we've been conditioned to put so much hope and meaning into those damn numbers. Take the blame off yourself and get mad at the billion dollar diet industry that perpetuates these NUMBERS that are NOT the end all and be all indicator of our health. Be pissed off at all the propaganda and vile messages that have been shoved down our throats.
Be righteous in your healthy changes and celebrate what you've accomplished and don't allow all the external BS get to you! You are stronger than all the crap.
And this too ^^ spot on.0 -
Give it time, keep up what you are doing and don't slash your calories just yet... heck, it could even be that you aren't eating enough ? (not sure of your daily goal). Keep a close watch on sodium and sugar levels, keep as active as you can, and I am sure the scale will start to move in the right direction sooner rather than later.
Meanwhile, pull yourself out of bed, forget that stupid number for now, and remind yourself that you are so much more than a series of digits. Do something you enjoy, that you love, and treat yourself well, as in the end, you are worth it, regardless of what you weigh.
^^^ I TOTALLY AGREE!!!0 -
You said: " I have been putting in the work. I'm eating at or under calories. I'm eating clean, hardly a cheat in sight and even when I do, it's been relatively mild. I've upped my workouts, started the 30 Day Shred. Been doing yoga, drinking my water, staying ultra, super it's-probably-annoying-but-I-don't-care positive. I've been focused, happy, motivated. My body seems like it's changing. My clothes feel like they fit better. I just overall FEEL BETTER as a human walking this earth. "
So... you were doing AWESOME until a piece of plastic, glass and electronics told you to feel bad about yourself? Who gave an electronic gizmo the power to make you feel like a failure??
All the things above say that you're NOT a failure, but that you were succeeding at what you were doing. Hang on to that for now. I know it's not as tangible as the number on the scale, but I'd rather see my clothes fit better than the number on the scale go down any day.
At the end you said that you think you're really afraid that nothing you do makes a difference. I understand where you're coming from and that's a much bigger issue than just a number on the scale. But... remember that you DO make a difference, it's just hard to see sometimes because you're stuck inside the picture and can't see you're world from the outside.
I'm so hard on myself, I don't believe I've done something good even when people are telling me straight out that I have. Try to tell yourself to be a little more gentle to yourself. I find that if I think of what I'd tell a friend who was in my "situation" (whatever might be depressing me at the time), I'm much more kind and generous to the friend-me than I'd ever be to myself. I usually end up making myself feel better that way... even if it does sound like I'm crazy and talking to an imaginary friend or something. Don't worry... I don't actually do it out loud either!
All the best to you!
Hope you shake off the "blahs" soon.
Jen0 -
I've heard that you can't lose inches and pounds at the same time.. with that, have you taken you measurements? You obv. know that there has been some loss/change, since you've said that your clothes fit better.
Also, w/all that you have been doing exercise wise, you may be gaining muscle...
More than anything else... pounds, inches, or calories, you have accomplished something thus far that many of use are still striving for; "I just overall FEEL BETTER as a human walking this earth."
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I do not get on the scale. It can really be frustrating! Instead I rely on how my clothes fit... My body, and possibly yours, may have quite a bit of muscle tone to it... what happens to me is, I tend not to lose weight but inches instead... This isn't a bad thing... I dropped two clothes sizes, yet dropped very little weight. All of our bodies are different and you need to embrace you... don't be so hard on yourself. If your clothes are fitting better, then you are doing just fine... Don't rely on the scale- it's evil & not all of us have the same body types. What works for some will work differently for others. Don't give up on you. Keep going and enjoy the benifits however they may come... Say to yourself, Today is a great day.... My clothes are feeling really good on me... And, each day I keep going, they will feel even better.. Take care.. 0
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If I lived in your city, I would pull your *kitten* out of bed and make you go dancing or something. You are better than a complicated piece of metal, and your body is changing for the better.
And I LOVE DANCING!
.........MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO OUT DANCING AND SHAKE YOUR WORRIES AWAY LIKE A CRAZY WONDERFUL PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I like my idea a lot. Do it. Do it. Do it.)0 -
dancing is the best feeling, i do it every single day, it changes your mood and lifts your spirts:)0
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I can relate to how you feel...after three days, I got on the scale and was up 2 lbs. I happened to be at my doctor's offce and he told me not to worry...that weight can actually go up initially due to increased water, exercise and dietary changes. I haven't been back on the scale but I am feeling better in my clothes and starting to feel toned, even the hubby said I looked better already.
So throw off that depression, know that you are taking the steps to leading a healthier, happier life. Embrace yourself for who you are now and who you are becoming. Also dance (you can do it at home, too)...I've started doing that again as part of my exercise and it really gets the endorphins going :flowerforyou: !! Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like.0 -
don't be depressed, that can lead to binge eating!! Just move on and be happy about what you have accomplished and how much stronger you are physically! Don't let you mental state overshadow what you have worked so hard for! Be happy with you no matter what the scale says!!!0
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This is why you need multiple ways to gauge your progress. The scale should only be one tiny facet. Take a ton and a half of photos and compare them every few weeks. Take measurements. Go by how clothes fit. Use your fitness, too. Able to walk, run, bike or dance faster and longer? Don't feel like crying during a workout dvd? Able to lift heavier weights? Carrying all the groceries in the house in one trip?0
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This is why you need multiple ways to gauge your progress. The scale should only be one tiny facet. Take a ton and a half of photos and compare them every few weeks. Take measurements. Go by how clothes fit. Use your fitness, too. Able to walk, run, bike or dance faster and longer? Don't feel like crying during a workout dvd? Able to lift heavier weights? Carrying all the groceries in the house in one trip?
I take pictures, my balance has improved, my flexibility, I can just MOVE easier. My clothes fit better. I am used to the burning feeling in my muscles now and I don't run from it.0
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