Ohai.

smassattack
smassattack Posts: 6
in Introduce Yourself
tl;dr: I'm a nice person, and we should chat. (:

After reading the guidelines, I wonder if my story is even allowed. Considering I'm not PROMOTING eating disorders, I hope I can introduce myself.

I go by Nikki, or Smass (means smart-*kitten* lawl). I'm twenty-one years old, ironically enough, I'm a culinary student (the dream is to open a healthy/natural bakery - using wheat flour and/or gluten free products, frutis and such for colorings instead of food dye, etc. - specializing in special occasion deserts such as cakes and/or cupcakes.)

Two years ago, my (essentially) life long battle with disordered eating/a disordered view towards food took a turn for the worst and I started starving myself, abusing laxatives, and obsessively counting calories. Long story short, I dropped to 145, had an epiphany that I was being an absolute moron by doing this to myself, and gradually worked my way back up to 210lbs. Oops.

I'm here because I'm tired of having a horrible relationship with food. I'm tired of having a horrible relationship with my body. I want to be HEALTHY. I want to set a good example for my nieces and nephews and any other young folks that might look up to me. And, referencing the dream to have a healthy bakery - I want to show people that you actually CAN have your cake and eat it too without feeling massive guilt.

That's basically it. Y'know. Nikki. Twenty-one. Baker. Former smoker (as of uh, 4pm, bahaha. Cold turkey and withdrawals are quite a pain in the butt). I have a Triforce tattoo on my left forearm (ten points if you know what that's from!), I'm obsessed with Zelda, though I've been neglecting it lately for The Sims 3. I played Star Wars TOR for a little bit, but I'm not one for PVP, and my boyfriend and I (and another couple we know) all joined a PVP server, and that just wasn't my thing, so I ended up quitting. I love cats. But my boyfriend is allergic, so I can't have one. I'm not really sure what else to put here that would be remotely interesting. x_o

Oh, and I'm in Northwestern Florida. (:

Tell me about yourselves or ask me some questions? :D

Replies

  • JaliciaNicole
    JaliciaNicole Posts: 1
    Nikki! Hello beautiful! I think you are just the cat's pajamas...(get it? because you like cats? :P) You are inspiring and amazing and I am happy to start this journey of health with you. <3
  • smassattack
    smassattack Posts: 6
    Nikki! Hello beautiful! I think you are just the cat's pajamas...(get it? because you like cats? :P) You are inspiring and amazing and I am happy to start this journey of health with you. <3

    <3 I WANT A CAT. ):
    Stupid boyfriend being allergic. Q_Q

    We'll get there, the right way! :D
  • Teapotdomescam
    Teapotdomescam Posts: 156 Member
    I know how you feel. I myself struggled with a severe eating disorder for 5 years! I am MUCH better now and I am SO glad that you had an "epiphany" and chose to get healthy. You are a strong woman for doing so. Not many people want to get themselves out of that rut and it's very sad but sadness aside, I like you! Hahah your personality is great and it's so cool that you have a triforce tattoo. I was recently playing Skyward Sword, but I never finished it because I couldn't really find the motivation to complete the game. The farther I got into it, the lazier I got. Hahahah maybe it was just too long of a game for me.
    Anyway...YES. Zelda rocks
  • smassattack
    smassattack Posts: 6
    I know how you feel. I myself struggled with a severe eating disorder for 5 years! I am MUCH better now and I am SO glad that you had an "epiphany" and chose to get healthy. You are a strong woman for doing so. Not many people want to get themselves out of that rut and it's very sad but sadness aside, I like you! Hahah your personality is great and it's so cool that you have a triforce tattoo. I was recently playing Skyward Sword, but I never finished it because I couldn't really find the motivation to complete the game. The farther I got into it, the lazier I got. Hahahah maybe it was just too long of a game for me.
    Anyway...YES. Zelda rocks

    Wow, five years? I'm so glad you're better now. I'm still not there yet, but I'm trying. I'm learning that it's okay to eat as long as I work it in. And, considering I just started, I'm still learning how to change my eating habits so that I can work things I like (such as dark chocolate chip vanilla protein pancakes!) into my diet without going over board on the sugar (less chocolate chips next time - lesson learned!)

    :D:D:D As for the tattoo, I need to get it touched up. x_o I've had it for aaaaaaaaaaalmost a year. I hope my troubles with ED didn't make me anemic (I really need to get that checked) because I want to donate blood again. D: Although A+ is like, the second most common blood type, I still feel it's important to donate... even though I really really reeeally hate needles. XD; I like, panic whenever I go to give blood. But, because I feel it's important, I try to time the whole tattoo thing right after I give blood. I still have another two to three months to wait before I can give blood again, so, although my tattoo REALLY needs to be touched up, I have to wait another two to three months. XD

    I want to make my left arm a gamer/Zelda sleeve. Because. Y'know. Zelda's awesome. XD

    And, I pretty much ragequit RIGHT at the end because I hated doing the stupid spirit trial things. x_o)

    *dances* Sorry my post is kinda all over the place (it seems that way to me at least XD) I just went to the gym and now my shin hurts. x_o;;;
  • VenomousDuck
    VenomousDuck Posts: 206
    I am an executive chef, classically trained with a degree, etc. I know about struggling with food and the power it has when you work in this business.

    If you want to chat, feel free to IM. I am in a new account here, but have been here for 8 or 9 months.
  • smassattack
    smassattack Posts: 6
    I am an executive chef, classically trained with a degree, etc. I know about struggling with food and the power it has when you work in this business.

    If you want to chat, feel free to IM. I am in a new account here, but have been here for 8 or 9 months.

    Ooooh, I love chef friends. :D !

    I start the actual hands on classes in the Fall, and I'm suuuper excited. I hope I can get to the point where I can resist the temptations brought by the culinary industry. x_o;

    Also, if YOU want to chat, too, feel free. XP I enjoy new people, haha.

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