Would you forgive me?

need2beanonymous
need2beanonymous Posts: 2
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
Hi,

I'm a regular poster but I don't want this post to be connected to me, so I'm remaining anonymous. Last year, I did something...bad to one of my friends, and I need to know if I should confess.

My best friend started dating one of our mutual friends, that I had a crush on. (neither of them knew about my crush) Anyway, they dated for maybe about 4 weeks, nothing physical happened, and she didn't like him, so she ended it. Anyway, a few months later, he called me to come visit him. Nothing sexual happened, but we did kiss. A month later, we went to a work retreat with another coworker of ours, and it happened again (still just kissing)

I feel really awful about this and I have for a while, but I don't know if confessing would just make things worse...sometimes I think if I told her, that *I* would only feel better, not her. I swore him to secrecy and she never really sees the other coworker from our work retreat, so she hasn't found out.

Next month, however, we will all be meeting up, me, her, the guy, the coworker, and several other people. I know the guy won't say anything and I don't think the coworker will, but you never know.

Let me have it, MFP. Am I a terrible person? Do I need to confess? Would you forgive me?

Replies

  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    I'm missing the part where you did something bad.
  • katy84o
    katy84o Posts: 744 Member
    I'm missing the part where you did something bad.

    same..
    They dated for 4 weeks? Clearly there wasn't a connection, would your friend really be upset by it? I've done and had worse things happen between my friends and guys, in highschool, and we're still friends today.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I'm missing the part where you did something bad.

    Ditto.
  • fatpal1
    fatpal1 Posts: 57
    Not sure what your are feeling guilty about?? You kinda are acting like you are in middle school. No rings on any fingers, get over it!......Just sayin :)
  • _HeathBar_
    _HeathBar_ Posts: 902 Member
    Terrible people kick puppies. I don't think you're a terrible person based on this.
  • BIGJIMMYU
    BIGJIMMYU Posts: 1,221 Member
    I'm missing the part where you did something bad.

    same..
    You are a normal human being who did something normal people do. What is to confess. Any decent friend would be happy that you're happy. I see no problem here.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    she didn't like him, so she ended it.
    I mean if he dumped her and broke her heart, sure, I could see the problem. But she didn't like him, so I really don't see why she'd have some kind of claim on him or why this would hurt her feelings?
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    I'm missing the part where you did something bad.
    :huh:
    i feel the same. you are missing a part of your story or it's all in your head.
  • kurenaikumo
    kurenaikumo Posts: 271 Member
    Yeah, I'm lost. She didn't like him, he obviously didn't like her like that either so... What's the problem again?
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I wouldn't worry about it. They weren't in a relationship.
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    I'm going to jump on the "I don't get it" bandwagon. Forgive you for what? Nothing you've done remotely impacts your friend in any way.
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    I'm missing the part where you did something bad.

    I think the fact that you're questioning it means you should talk to your friend about it. It seems too much like you're "hiding" it if not. I mean you'd tell your best friend if it was anyone else wouldn't you?
  • need2beanonymous
    need2beanonymous Posts: 2
    Whew...ok! I'm feeling a lot better now. I'm not sure why I felt so guilty...they don't really get along now, but he definitely didn't break her heart (she may have broken his, idk) I guess I just realized today that me, him, her, and someone that knows I made out with him will all be in the same room sometime soon, so I was wondering if I should tell her what happened. I don't see it ever happening again (turns out I don't like him either) so I guess it doesn't really matter?
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    she didn't like him, so she ended it.
    I mean if he dumped her and broke her heart, sure, I could see the problem. But she didn't like him, so I really don't see why she'd have some kind of claim on him or why this would hurt her feelings?

    Agree with this!
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    If it gets brought up... which I don't know why it would... just act like you never mentioned it because it wasn't a big deal. (Because it totally was not a big deal.)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Whew...ok! I'm feeling a lot better now. I'm not sure why I felt so guilty...they don't really get along now, but he definitely didn't break her heart (she may have broken his, idk) I guess I just realized today that me, him, her, and someone that knows I made out with him will all be in the same room sometime soon, so I was wondering if I should tell her what happened. I don't see it ever happening again (turns out I don't like him either) so I guess it doesn't really matter?

    I can see it feeling a little weird that you were both somewhat intimate with the guy, but other than that, I see no issue at all. Tell her if you want to, but if she gets angry, she isn't much of a friend.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories