So whats worse being the dumper or the dumpie?

Both have their downsides, but it's better to get it over with than be stuck in a bad relationship!

Depends. Being dumped doesnt hurt as bad if its a mutual choice.

Dumping people sucks... I hate hurting woman's feeling. I've never been dumped so I'm not sure about that. TBH I use to not even dump woman I just kinda stop contacting them in any way until they got the hint... Yes I know a ***** move. That's why my last ex I dumped her, It sucked but I think it was better then the other method.

For me it's both:

Dumper because I hate confrontation
Dumpee because I hate having my heart broken.

i've never been dumped so i don't have anything to compare it to. i am a very diplomatic person though so i've always gone about dumping in the nicest way possible.

Dumper sucks. You know, that next morning when you just want them to leave and they think the previous night meant something. Ugh.

Seriously though, both sides suck. Nothing is worse than dumping someone though and they turn into a crazy stalker. No, I didn't ruin your life, and yes there is someone out there for you that is better than me.

I've read that being the dumpster increases risk of infection, but I don't know if that's true. I would think that either one could risk transmission.

I would have to say the dumpee, probably cause I'm currently experiencing this pain. I've only dumped one ex in my life and quite frankly it was a relief because he was a ball of choas so it felt like a burden was lifted off me. But yeah definitely having you heart broken by being dumped takes a lot out of you.

I think being the dumper is easier because by the time I want to end the relationship, I have already emotionally disengaged myself from the person. I think being dumped (especially if you didn't see it coming), takes more of an emotional toll because of the feeling of utter rejection that can occur. Of course, if you know it is coming, then it is a bit easier to get over.

Dumpee is worse. As the dumper you know it's coming.....you have mentally prepared and you can jump right back into it.

For me really it's cleaning up the mess afterwards, and the smell can be a bit sh*ty too.

Dumpee is worse. As the dumper you know it's coming.....you have mentally prepared and you can jump right back into it.

This too.

I've never had to experience it in a relationship but I've gone through the dumping phase with friends over the years. I had a friend I'd known for 6 years and talked to every day "dump" me because I had made the comment I didn't like the guy she was at the time fawning over (and to be fair, a month ago she said another friend had dated him, been used and left, and he had a reputation as someone who wanted nothing but bedwarmers) and then she decided to call me a monster on top of it. And it hurt because to me if someone's doing something wrong you tell them at the time it happens, not wait until they get you mad enough to bring it up years later. I cried over it for a month. I've had other friends do similar things and some hurt and some didn't.

Likewise I've had to dump at least two friends, my best friends. And it wasn't easy. I loved them but I have a lot of my own issues and theirs were trying to take the forefront and in the end I was not feeling like a friend anymore. One got in a very destructive relationship and refused to leave them even though they were bad people and after she stayed with them a while and came back crying for six months because she missed the sex (no joke, sex was pretty much all they talked about) I couldn't take it. I was bothered enough by her situation to know I needed to leave it. The other basically used me for 9 years and I had tried ending it for 2 years due to her selfishness but it finally did after she not only tried to break me up with my boyfriend out of jealousy, she abandoned me in a club that was smoker friendly (I have asthma and did not know about this place's policy) when I began having an attack because the band onstage was her favorite. Irony was the band members sought me out after the show to see if I was OK. I had known her 9 years, I loved her like a sister and had never thought I'd part from her, but sometimes people become destructive or just too much to handle and the only sane choice is to walk away. And nearly 2 years later I still miss her, but y'know what I wouldn't want her back. I have my memories.

That aside, I think really being the dumpee hurts more especially if you don't see it coming. It's worse when you know the things they list as reasons could have been worked on had they ever tried talking to you and you're left with "well you're this" or "you do that" and it's like... so how do I fix that if I'm unaware of it? Will the next one see the same thing and leave too?

Being dumped.

Those of you saying "it's so awful being the dumper and hurting someone.....blah blah blah" that's just you trying to garner sympathy rather than own up to being in control of the situation and causing someone else grief. "Poor me."

I'm not saying people shouldn't break up. I'm just pointing out that the "Dumper" moves on right away and the "Dumpee" has to process and deal with the "What's wrong with me" Stuff. Some take a very long time.

U have valid point but once again I'm sticking with dumper and not becuz i need anyones sympathy, being the dumpie hurt like hell but u have no choice but to deal with it, on the other hand U have a choice whether or not ur going to leave someone there are alot of questions you ask urself before and after you break up with someone 1. Should you stay? 2. How will this effect others becuz alot of times ur not just breaking up with that person u may have to break up with thier freinds and family as well. 3. After is's said and done did u make the right choice?

You should never stay because you feel you should or are worried about the other person. You know what's worse that ending a bad relationship? Staying in a bad relationship.

Dumpee wins the suckfest.