HATERS??

I have experienced much of the same things. Never about being too skinny though lol But honestly I think the root of the problem is this: You're making positive changes for yourself, you're confident in what you're doing, you didn't ask anyone's opinion, and this stirred up jealousy in your friends. They think what you're doing is good deep down, therefore get mad at you to make themselves feel better for not doing it also. I've lost a boyfriend and 3 other friendships this way because people don't have enough confidence in themselves to be happy for you, while also making changes for themselves. Hope this helped!! And just know that there are people out there who can support you without being jealous. It just takes time for those friendships to grow. A good friend is always supportive

The older i get the harder it seems to make new friends and meet people. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

Unfortunately, if you succeed at something it can make you an object of envy. For the past 20 - 30 years in the U.S. there's been way too much b.s. and myth about how supportive people supposedly are. Frequently, they're not. Unconditional acceptance is actually quite rare.

Find new friends, or at least find new acquaintances who have the same values and interests.

I'm not saying that you, to the extent possible, shouldn't try to be open, and to withhold judgment in your relations with others. But to regularly expect it from others is unrealistic.

I haven't experienced this... All of my friends are super supportive, and most doing the same as me. Even my friends that I see on rare occasion. I am very thankful for them when I read these kinds of posts, and I'm so sorry that you don't have friends who support you like they should. But if they're not going to be supportive in any situation how a friend should be, then they're not worth having as a friend. I have lost friends for other reasons. And I've found myself way happier without them. Good luck to you, darling.

I have noticed a change in some of my friend's attitudes but have only been dieting since the middle of January so I think more time is needed before I will know if I am to lose any friendships.

However, and I am sure this doesnt apply to you because you sound very down to earth, but I used to have a friend who lost a significant amount of weight and went from obese to a healthy weight, she became such an awful person! We would go out shopping and she would say to me "you're honestly not telling me your THAT dress size are you?!" And other derogatory things which made me feel terrible about myself because I wasnt in the right place to tackle my weight at that time. It got so bad that I ended up phasing her out and now I dont see her any more. Like I said, I'm sure you havent gone to that extreme, but maybe you have changed a bit and your friends seem to have less in common with you than they did before? You are sure to have a few different interests etc to before

I am getting this at the moment from work colleagues and to some extent my husband. My colleagues say my face is now looking too thin and i will start to look ill if i lose much more. However i still have fat in areas I don,t want it like my abs and thighs. I have worked very hard to get to where i am and i will know when to stop I dont want to lose much more just another 9lbs or so and then tone up. I dont know why they do it probaly because they are struggling to do it themselves. My husband thinks another 9lbs will be too much but i need to be happy with myself and i am doing this for me noone else.

I had a friend who weighed 400ish pounds and then got gastric bypass surgery. She'd been overweight her entire life and the weight was finally coming off. She was really excited. A mutual friend, who was also very obese, told her to stop talking about it. Her excitement was never in excess, but just sort of a "I lost ___ pounds!" or "I was finally able to get into size ___ jeans!" I'm a big girl too and was really happy for her. However, that mutual friend thought she was rubbing it in our faces and my friend was taken aback by it. She seemed really hurt by the fact that her friend wasn't also excited about her weight loss.

However, I am aware of the shock of seeing someone being regularly plump and then seeing them after weight loss. It's the same shock as weight gain. It's hard to control, but the mind immediately thinks that only a week has passed since you last saw them and you think that their behavior has been drastic when it probably wasn't the case at all.

I think fat women in particular are jealous. It's too "hard" to do anything about it and so they don't. It always seems to make someone uncomfortable when you change the status quo. Also, as in my case, I AM getting older and as an adult I have never been the weight I am today. I don't think 135 pounds at 5' 5 1/2 inches is too "skinny". Granted, I do believe I have lost muscle due to the aging process and because I have not taken the time to seriously do weight lifting. Nobody has seen me at this weight so I am obviously "too thin" or "small enough".

Bottom line women are jealous. Smokers don't want their smoker friends to quit. people don't like it that I am going towards vegan and eating lots of whole veggies. I get comments usually from fat people or the hamburger and french fry crowd about "how can you eat like that?" And they think we are fair game. How would they like it if we walked into a room and started pointing the finger at someone. One woman I know who says I am too tiny I could say, that as she is a diabetic "do you really think you should be eating those sweet rolls all the time. Ya know, I've never seen you without something in your mouth or a bag of chips in your hand. Every time I see you order food it is some kind of crap on a bun. Don't you ever eat veggies? Don't you think you should at least try to lose 50 - 100 pounds? Do you know what diabetes will do to you and IT WILL DO IT TO YOU!" How would they like it? I think people are insecure and they don't want us to change because as your friend says, it makes them look WORSE. Most people are overweight or obese. That is the statistics in America. What is it 60%? If losing weight and watching your health were easy, everyone would do it. They just want the immediate pay off of eating crap food when they see it because it is yummy! So were the collard greens, beans with nutritional yeast and strawberries I had for dessert for lunch just now!

Edit: My personal favorite statement is when they say "I'm healthy and happy at this weight." Seriously? No, you've accepted your "lot" and make the best of it by eating whatever makes you feel good while you scarf it down. Let's check back with you in 10 - 20 years and see how happy you are with your cholesterol readings, your diabetes, your heart disease, your arthritis and joint pain, and the specter of knee replacements, your not being able to do plain old things because you are just too fat and out of breath? Let us know how that is working for you.

Get new like minded friends. Send her a picture of you at Christmas in a sexy little black dress. She can look at it while she eats a box of Christmas cookies! = D

Haters will continue to hate, but it's important to remember why you lost weight in the first place. Are you happy with your lifestyle choices? Are you happy with the results? Don't let people who can't make the changes necessary to do it themselves drag you down. People who behave in this manner are not true friends.

WHAT A HATER

So, just a quick question to all the other MFPs out there....because its still bugging me!!!

I met up with a friend of mine at the show with our kids about 3 weeks ago (havent seen her for about 3months). The first thing she says to me, before she even says hi is, 'HOLY! Youre getting way too skinny! You need to start eating more! Seriosuly you're getting to look too skinny now, *blah, blah* You're making all us fat people look bad!"
I was like, I do eat, I actually havent even really changed my eating habits, I just work out now.
"well, youre starting to look gross"

I didnt know wether ot punch her in the nose and leave or to tell her "no, you fat people are making yourselves look bad" (which i would NEVER! but i did think about it). BUT i just let it roll off my back, like whatever....but im trying to figure out where shes comming from, my 1st thought is jealousy...but im not that vain really, then i think self hate, maybe? I'm definitly NOT 'skinny' my body is average, normal size. not extreme in either direction. i would actually like to lose another 10lbs.

I seem to be finding that i have less friends than i thought i did. why is it that when we decide to do something good to better ourselves, people around us cannot seem handle our successes? I litterally have lost 3 solid friendships since i started at the gym and quit smoking. It boggles my mind! Like come with me! lol

The older i get the harder it seems to make new friends and meet people. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

There is a thing about being too "skinny' (Which has never been my problem) however I think it is just a thing people say as they are somewhat shocked to see the weight loss.

I think fat women in particular are jealous. It's too "hard" to do anything about it and so they don't. It always seems to make someone uncomfortable when you change the status quo. Also, as in my case, I AM getting older and as an adult I have never been the weight I am today. I don't think 135 pounds at 5' 5 1/2 inches is too "skinny". Granted, I do believe I have lost muscle due to the aging process and because I have not taken the time to seriously do weight lifting. Nobody has seen me at this weight so I am obviously "too thin" or "small enough".

Bottom line women are jealous. Smokers don't want their smoker friends to quit. people don't like it that I am going towards vegan and eating lots of whole veggies. I get comments usually from fat people or the hamburger and french fry crowd about "how can you eat like that?" And they think we are fair game. How would they like it if we walked into a room and started pointing the finger at someone. One woman I know who says I am too tiny I could say, that as she is a diabetic "do you really think you should be eating those sweet rolls all the time. Ya know, I've never seen you without something in your mouth or a bag of chips in your hand. Every time I see you order food it is some kind of crap on a bun. Don't you ever eat veggies? Don't you think you should at least try to lose 50 - 100 pounds? Do you know what diabetes will do to you and IT WILL DO IT TO YOU!" How would they like it? I think people are insecure and they don't want us to change because as your friend says, it makes them look WORSE. Most people are overweight or obese. That is the statistics in America. What is it 60%? If losing weight and watching your health were easy, everyone would do it. They just want the immediate pay off of eating crap food when they see it because it is yummy! So were the collard greens, beans with nutritional yeast and strawberries I had for dessert for lunch just now!

Edit: My personal favorite statement is when they say "I'm healthy and happy at this weight." Seriously? No, you've accepted your "lot" and make the best of it by eating whatever makes you feel good while you scarf it down. Let's check back with you in 10 - 20 years and see how happy you are with your cholesterol readings, your diabetes, your heart disease, your arthritis and joint pain, and the specter of knee replacements, your not being able to do plain old things because you are just too fat and out of breath? Let us know how that is working for you.

Get new like minded friends. Send her a picture of you at Christmas in a sexy little black dress. She can look at it while she eats a box of Christmas cookies! = D

couldn't have said it better myself. im being told, wow, you need to stop losing weight. im 5 ft 5 and 145. im muscular and healthy. i can get them to except me being vegan and not getting any teasing or judging but not with my weight. ive told people they look good but i would never say you are getting too skinny to anyone. ive told people, i log my stuff and do zumba, and while eating a cheeseburger and fries, them saying, oh i could never give up eating like this every day. id just die. in my head i am thinking you keep eating like that they are going to die. real friends are with you through thick or thin, haha.

I think fat women in particular are jealous. It's too "hard" to do anything about it and so they don't. It always seems to make someone uncomfortable when you change the status quo. Also, as in my case, I AM getting older and as an adult I have never been the weight I am today. I don't think 135 pounds at 5' 5 1/2 inches is too "skinny". Granted, I do believe I have lost muscle due to the aging process and because I have not taken the time to seriously do weight lifting. Nobody has seen me at this weight so I am obviously "too thin" or "small enough".

Bottom line women are jealous. Smokers don't want their smoker friends to quit. people don't like it that I am going towards vegan and eating lots of whole veggies. I get comments usually from fat people or the hamburger and french fry crowd about "how can you eat like that?" And they think we are fair game. How would they like it if we walked into a room and started pointing the finger at someone. One woman I know who says I am too tiny I could say, that as she is a diabetic "do you really think you should be eating those sweet rolls all the time. Ya know, I've never seen you without something in your mouth or a bag of chips in your hand. Every time I see you order food it is some kind of crap on a bun. Don't you ever eat veggies? Don't you think you should at least try to lose 50 - 100 pounds? Do you know what diabetes will do to you and IT WILL DO IT TO YOU!" How would they like it? I think people are insecure and they don't want us to change because as your friend says, it makes them look WORSE. Most people are overweight or obese. That is the statistics in America. What is it 60%? If losing weight and watching your health were easy, everyone would do it. They just want the immediate pay off of eating crap food when they see it because it is yummy! So were the collard greens, beans with nutritional yeast and strawberries I had for dessert for lunch just now!

Edit: My personal favorite statement is when they say "I'm healthy and happy at this weight." Seriously? No, you've accepted your "lot" and make the best of it by eating whatever makes you feel good while you scarf it down. Let's check back with you in 10 - 20 years and see how happy you are with your cholesterol readings, your diabetes, your heart disease, your arthritis and joint pain, and the specter of knee replacements, your not being able to do plain old things because you are just too fat and out of breath? Let us know how that is working for you.

Get new like minded friends. Send her a picture of you at Christmas in a sexy little black dress. She can look at it while she eats a box of Christmas cookies! = D

I absolutely love this response because it is so true (and I liked the others too!). First off I can't believe a "friend" has the nerve to say that to you! I have had similar things happen and it really ticks me off. I often bite my tongue but I am cussing them out in my mind. It's just plain rude. These comments also come from people who are unhealthy, have everything hurting on their body and claim because they are "too busy" (like we have more hours int he day) that is why they don't work out and eat right. Another good one is that they are "happy" with their weight. Uh huh... so happy that's why they won't even go to a beach and every now and then ask for advice - then start being hateful again?

I seriously believe that since a majority of people are overweight, they do think that anyone that is fit is "not normal" and has issues. I have experienced so much stupidity since losing weight it's not even funny. I have everything from people dangling food in front of my face like I'm a dog to hearing I need "a ton of burgers".

People make me sick sometimes! Keep your head high and keep doing your thing