Starting Over

About 18 months ago, I started this weight loss journey. I was 372 pounds, sitting in a scooter in Wal-Mart when I decided I wanted a change. I was one more week away from suicide. I know that in my heart. I couldn't even walk to the mailbox without needing to stop for a break. I wondered where that kid was that played collegiate soccer, that was becoming a world class climber? Sure, those things were almost 17 years ago, but I knew this was not the end destined for me. I knew it would hurt like hell, I knew it would be a struggle, but I decided right there, in Wal-Mart to lose 200 pounds.

It was difficult at first, started out with changes to my diet - nothing crazy, just got rid of the booze, the carbonation and drank at least a gallon of water a day. No more pizza and a lot more small meals. I stopped rewarding myself with food. After a couple of weeks of this, I had lost 12 pounds and was at 360 pounds, I knew then and there I was on the right path and never again would I spin in circles or weigh 360 pounds. My ex-wife said I was impossible to live with, I would never change, it was impossible. I knew then she was right, I M Possible.

It got easier, I could breathe better and my asthma started receding. Before I knew it (not to diminish the journey that is another story), I was at 280 pounds - I had met a girl, I was doing very well at work, I had taken up hiking again and was loving life. A complete 180 degrees from where I was at. I started running and again, seemingly very quickly, I was down to the lowest weight I had been in 7 years, 245 pounds. Clothes fit, people were proud of me. I felt like I was unstoppable, this was too easy.

Fast forward to today. Life stepped in, through a wedding and getting ready for a baby, I got lazy again. I am not running, I am not making good food choices. I am back up to 290 pounds. It is VERY depressing. I thought this was easy, and honestly, it is - to a point. I have been losing the mental game. I am at that crossroads again, where I can chose to sit and watch life begin to pass me by or I can chose to acknowledge that for me, weight will always be an issue and that I will have to fight until I die to beat this thing. The easy road or the hard road?

Which do you think I took? Which would you take?

I have a long road back to 170 pounds, but the first step is to take a step. I DO have to start over. It is back to chicken and veggies every night for dinner for me, it is turkey or tuna sandwiches and carrots for lunch; it is oatmeal for breakfast and a Clif bar or almonds and banana for snack. THAT worked for me. That works. It is hours on the bike, it is sweating out 1 more rep and now it is also doing laps in the pool.

I signed up for my first triathlon in October. Yes I will have to compete in the Clydesdale category, but I will compete. I will weigh 60 pounds or more less by then and I will finish and I will have met one of my lifetime goals, to be a triathlete. To be an athlete again.

And that is just for starters.

Are you with me?