I feel so bad,others have been able to do it, why cant I?

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AlexJourneyHall
AlexJourneyHall Posts: 137 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I've messed up, again. I don't understand why I keep screwing up. I try and try and try to eat right but I always mess up. I don't understand. Others have been able to lose 10 lbs or more a month, I have tried and tried and can't get the scale to budget a single pound. I've tried so hard to eat right, but I always slip up no matter what I try. Someone please tell me what am I doing wrong? besides the obvious.

I know I need to clean up my diet, which I am doing now. Before I mainly ate healthy, but it wasn't healthy enough. I'm sure people will look at my food diary and critique it, but that's not what I need. I already know what to do because I've been here so many times. What I need to know is why can't I get my act together? I set plans up so that I don't get to the bad food, but somehow I do anyways.... I can't stop my parents from bringing the bad foods home and I can't stop others from trying to give me the bad stuff no matter what I say. So, I keep failing...only, I keep failing a little less terribly each time, but I am tired of failing. What do I have to do to finally get it right?
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Replies

  • darlilama
    darlilama Posts: 794 Member
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    Useful Edison quotes (or something close to his quotes):

    "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

    “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize HOW CLOSE THEY WERE to success when they gave up.”

    “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this - you haven't.”

    “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to TRY JUST ONE MORE TIME.”

    And perhaps my personal favorite...
    "THERE ARE NOT RULES HERE -- WE'RE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING.”

    If you know what you need to do already (eat healthy, get some exercise to be healthy), then only you can determine why you are failing. But, you already acknowledge that 1) You KEEP trying, and 2) You don't "fail" as badly ... which really just means you are learning what works for you.

    Best of luck... I believe you can do it. :flowerforyou:
  • SkrillexAsh
    SkrillexAsh Posts: 20 Member
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    i feel the same way as you do right now.. i so badly want to lose more weight, i eat healthy all week long, and exersize, then i counter-act all my hard work by binging on the weekends.. it feels great to binge, but after a binge it's the most horrible feeling!! i feel like such a failure, but i pick up and start again the next week, and it's a continous cycle that i have yet to break :(
  • JeepBaja
    JeepBaja Posts: 1,824 Member
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    Now I am being totally honest over how things have gone for me. I started this in 11/2010. Lost 35 pounds by 06/2011. Then I did a lot of traveling and a lot of hiking... along with a lot of eating the friends who never gain weight. So I was stuck at the 35 pound loss for the next six months, not losing or gaining weight until the new year. Now I've gained roughly 14 pounds.

    I know what I was doing. I just started eating more than I should and with the cold weather I was not hiking as much. Yeah I average 5 miles a day of walking between work and walking my dog. But it wasn't enough to overcome by bad eating habits.

    I justified what I was doing by what I loss earlier in the year. Now reality is back in the picture and I am doing what I did last year.

    Limiting what I eat... I know it sucks when you work out then don't lose any weight. You want to just binge because nothing works.

    There is no easy solution, you know you have to clean up your diet. That is the key. That was they key for me and it opened the weight loss door just as fast as it slammed it closed.

    Wish I could offer better advise :(
  • theartichoke
    theartichoke Posts: 816 Member
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    @darlilama....What an awesome thing to post for her! Thank you for doing that!

    What helped me, and it sounds so silly, is having a goal board. One of those $6 cork jobbers from Target. I cut out pictures and motivations that mean something to me. Every morning I look at it and take a minute to reaffirm my goals and decide to make good choices again. Each day I CHOOSE to do my best. Please remember that this is a process, not an event. Keep walking no matter what and you WILL get there. Good luck to you!
  • ttkg
    ttkg Posts: 357 Member
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    Look, people slip up, it is part of the process. Like quitting smoking, people 'quit' multiple times before it actually sticks. So maybe try looking at this a different way...look at it as with each failure you learned something about yourself, your eating triggers, your discipline or your body - and you will apply that going forward.

    You are going to fall down many times in your life (we all do, it's normal and not a criticism), what is really important is how you keep getting back up.

    So get up, brush yourself off, say goodbye to what it was that you did yesterday that caused this blip and focus on what you can change to make tomorrow a positive day without any blips.. And just keep doing that every day. Also, re-examine your goals...are you putting too much pressure on yourself? Try setting smaller more achievable goals so you don't get discouraged. For example, maybe raise your calories by 100 for the next 7 days. Just to give you some breathing room.

    Be kind to yourself, if you're not - who else will be? :flowerforyou: You can do this.
  • saraann4
    saraann4 Posts: 1,312 Member
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    YOU have to want to do it! Nobody else can do it for you. Set small goals for you. Incorporate cheat days.
  • SkrillexAsh
    SkrillexAsh Posts: 20 Member
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    YOU have to want to do it! Nobody else can do it for you. Set small goals for you. Incorporate cheat days.
    i've learned that i can't let myself have cheat days, because i go fricken nuts.. so this week i'm trying a different approach, eating whatever i want as long as it is in moderation.. wish me luck. lol.
  • Vespyr
    Vespyr Posts: 111 Member
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    I'm in the same boat...I wish I knew what to say to help you. I thought my diet was ok...and I was pretty active before. Then I stepped it up and I'm trying so hard but nothing is happening. Everyone else can do it...like you said.
  • gracey2521
    gracey2521 Posts: 72
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    I was just thinking the same things about myself. I try to eat healthy, but I have a horrid sweet tooth. It's a weakness, but I'm working on it, and I try not to beat myself up too much about because I know that will just make it worse. The more you stress out, the more you will crave unhealthy things, so relax and remember that you are only human, you will make mistakes! Just keep trying every day =]
  • guildwars1987
    guildwars1987 Posts: 73 Member
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    Have you tried see a psychologist about this? It seems like your issue is a lot deeper than it is. The quote I used quite frequently in the past is "You have the want to change, but lack the will to change." There is no silver platter in weight loss, i.e. people who undergo bariatric surgery still have to change their lifestyle.

    As I read other posts I thought more about this. For me when I have the craving for that something sweet, I will push myself into working out and gaining the calories back before I eat that sweet treat AND sometimes I lose the craving all together.
  • ncqueenbee
    ncqueenbee Posts: 147 Member
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    I totally understand that it is harder to refrain from eating not-so-healthy foods if they are readly available. Fortunately, I do the grocery shopping in my house, so if they want junk, they eat it outside the home. The only way for me to control what I eat is not to have it available to me. Try expressing your concerns to your family members. Perhaps they will undersand and offer some support by not bringing SOME of those foods into the house.
  • skybird455
    skybird455 Posts: 172 Member
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    you have to want it and think your self important enough to be a priority to take care of. Until then, nothing will work, its really all in your head. I promise it is. Sucky but true.
  • AlexJourneyHall
    AlexJourneyHall Posts: 137 Member
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    YOU have to want to do it! Nobody else can do it for you. Set small goals for you. Incorporate cheat days.
    i've learned that i can't let myself have cheat days, because i go fricken nuts.. so this week i'm trying a different approach, eating whatever i want as long as it is in moderation.. wish me luck. lol.

    I definite understand how you feel. I just decided to take them out. From now on Im cutting out everything but fruits, veggies, protein and healthy grains. I am also going to have to earn cheats. Im going to keep a small notepad with me for when I want something bad and pro con things. Hopefully, that will help as a visual aid.
  • AlexJourneyHall
    AlexJourneyHall Posts: 137 Member
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    I totally understand that it is harder to refrain from eating not-so-healthy foods if they are readly available. Fortunately, I do the grocery shopping in my house, so if they want junk, they eat it outside the home. The only way for me to control what I eat is not to have it available to me. Try expressing your concerns to your family members. Perhaps they will undersand and offer some support by not bringing SOME of those foods into the house.

    I've tried talking to them. It doesnt work....
  • AlexJourneyHall
    AlexJourneyHall Posts: 137 Member
    Options
    Useful Edison quotes (or something close to his quotes):

    "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

    “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize HOW CLOSE THEY WERE to success when they gave up.”

    “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this - you haven't.”

    “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to TRY JUST ONE MORE TIME.”

    And perhaps my personal favorite...
    "THERE ARE NOT RULES HERE -- WE'RE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING.”

    If you know what you need to do already (eat healthy, get some exercise to be healthy), then only you can determine why you are failing. But, you already acknowledge that 1) You KEEP trying, and 2) You don't "fail" as badly ... which really just means you are learning what works for you.

    Best of luck... I believe you can do it. :flowerforyou:

    Thank you so much for this! I will definitely be keeping it in mind. I will also keep these quotes in mind!
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
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    It sounds like you're being really hard on yourself, seeing it as a right-versus-wrong thing. But that's just going to frustrate you. Don't worry about losing a certain number of pounds per month, or doing what others do. You're just you, not anyone else, so you can't compare yourself and judge yourself based on what other people might do.

    There's a certain way of thinking that helps me make better choices. I ask myself a few questions: what would you do if you were already healthy and at your ideal weight? What might you eat, or how might you spend your time? If you work on doing those things now, rather than saving them for when you're already where you want to be, you will eventually see that result. It may take a while, but if you're moving in the right direction, at some point, you'll get there (and there are lots of small benefits along the way). It's not about becoming perfect overnight; if you just make little improvements as you go along, they'll add up until you can do it all without feeling pressured or guilty.

    I think this post might help you; I wrote it up to help people with this kind of issue (and I just prefer to post the link so people don't get sick of me copy/pasting it). Please give it a read. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/578928-give-yourself-a-chance
  • AlexJourneyHall
    AlexJourneyHall Posts: 137 Member
    Options
    Have you tried see a psychologist about this? It seems like your issue is a lot deeper than it is. The quote I used quite frequently in the past is "You have the want to change, but lack the will to change." There is no silver platter in weight loss, i.e. people who undergo bariatric surgery still have to change their lifestyle.

    As I read other posts I thought more about this. For me when I have the craving for that something sweet, I will push myself into working out and gaining the calories back before I eat that sweet treat AND sometimes I lose the craving all together.

    I think I could try that. However, that may be difficult if it is a late night craving....though I don't get those much at all anymore
  • Aineko
    Aineko Posts: 163
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    maybe you are trying too hard, making abrupt changes in your diet and causing huge stress to yourself (which then causes you to fail).

    Whenever I see someone with a similar complaint, I think that they are worrying more about 'healthy/clean' eating (whatever that is) than about the most important thing for losing weight - calorie deficit. What I wan't to say is go slowly, make small changes. don't just plunge into healthy eating straight away. start first with simply reducing what you normally eat so that it fits your calories goal. then, once you are used to that, start replacing one by one item, moving towards more healthy food.

    I'm losing fat (I think :) ) while still eating everything I used to eat, just in smaller amounts/less often and gradually including more vegetables.
  • AlexJourneyHall
    AlexJourneyHall Posts: 137 Member
    Options
    It sounds like you're being really hard on yourself, seeing it as a right-versus-wrong thing. But that's just going to frustrate you. Don't worry about losing a certain number of pounds per month, or doing what others do. You're just you, not anyone else, so you can't compare yourself and judge yourself based on what other people might do.

    There's a certain way of thinking that helps me make better choices. I ask myself a few questions: what would you do if you were already healthy and at your ideal weight? What might you eat, or how might you spend your time? If you work on doing those things now, rather than saving them for when you're already where you want to be, you will eventually see that result. It may take a while, but if you're moving in the right direction, at some point, you'll get there (and there are lots of small benefits along the way). It's not about becoming perfect overnight; if you just make little improvements as you go along, they'll add up until you can do it all without feeling pressured or guilty.

    I think this post might help you; I wrote it up to help people with this kind of issue (and I just prefer to post the link so people don't get sick of me copy/pasting it). Please give it a read. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/578928-give-yourself-a-chance

    That's true...I really do try to focus on myself but I always see others. And I think I'll try that tip. I'm trying to do more than I used to. Plus, I love exercising now. I like making progress there. It's just the eating part that gets me.
  • stanvoodoo
    stanvoodoo Posts: 1,023 Member
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    A few things.....FIrst I do not see any water and almost no exercise. Calories are very high on many of your days.

    Try sticking closer to your limit, add some excerise and on those days you can eat alittle more.

    That and some water should make a difference.

    Best of Luck!!

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