I feel so bad,others have been able to do it, why cant I?

From my efforts over the years and why I feel more confident this time, allow me to share.
I have lost and regained weight a few times. I tried in January to get started again but went visiting and slipped off track.
I spoke to a friend who had lost 50 lbs on the diabetic diet program at the local hospital who provided a lot of help and support.

I watched a local public TV show called TVO/the agenda.org about addiction on April 3, 2012. The panel consisted of a neuroscientist who used to be a drug addict in his youth, a philosopher focusing on addiction who is a recovering alcoholic, a medical director of a 12-step food addiction clinic and a clinical director of a large addiction centre.

They made me aware of a number of points.
*Addictions (shopping, gambling, sex, food, drugs, food) start out as choices which are repeated and then develop into cravings with established neural pathways in the brain.

*When we first choose to eat food with sugar, fat and starch, we get a dopamine rush and gratification.
* With repeated treats, we get the dopamine rush just by thinking about those foods. If this happened in childhood, it is longterm conditioning. If it started as an adult, it still eventually becomes an automatic response based on established neural pathways in our brain so we are not ever conscious of this happening.

To change, I had to consciously recognize the addictive behaviour, take charge of my thoughts and choices, develop new neural pathways and set a goal. I used portion control as my goal based on the public dietitian's food guide for my age. My DH was concerned with his weight gain due to health issues and was willing to join me which has made things much easier but I would have done it anyway.

If I still had a difficult job or otherwise really stressful life, I believe it would be unrealistic to think that I could focus to the same extent as I can today.

Whenever I think of slipping up, I realize that this is just what an alcoholic or drug addict is dealing with.
To create these new neural pathways required me to have the same focus and effort as learning a new language, I think. I read and reread for a month each evening, the size of the diabetic exchanges that I had copied from a library book until I was so familiar and knew what they meant. I bought some stainless steel cup measures to make sure that I was eating the right amount especially of the starch which is so easy to exceed.

My friend stressed the need to record every morsel that crossed my lips. I joined this site and there were a number of times when I stopped and reconsidered an item because I did not want to record it.

Look at the carb exchanges on the diabetic listings.http://www.livestrong.com/article/109839-diabetic-carb-exchange-list/

I have now lost 18 lbs since January and feel a lot lighter and more active. I have 22 lbs more that I should lose. I walk 2 1/2 miles a day for exercise. I am determined to stay on correct portion because just like the drug addict or alcoholic, I don't want to return to the addictive state. I now focus on what is the right size for me. When someone tries to feed you something different, think and ask yourself, would you offer alcohol to an alcoholic? What would the alcoholic say or do? I am not responsible for what others do, just my own choices.

I focus on starch carbs of 30 gms per meal, limit my daily fruit and dairy to three portions, daily protein to 2 (2 1/2 oz or 1/2 cup) portions with one being 1/4 C of cottage cheese with breakfast cereal or I get hungry midmorning, a daily limit of 2 Tbsp fat and unlimited vegetables. If I have legumes, I must remember that each legume portion supplies both protein and starch for that meal.

Hope that helps and that you find a way that works well for you.

It is possible that you eat unhealthy food as a way to cope for something else in life, or as a comfort. You should try and figure out why it is you can't resist the bad food and focus on solving that first. Otherwise, diet will always be a torturous struggle.

I think this is the number one reason dieters fail.

Hey i have had a look at your diary and perhaps your calorie intake set at 2100 is to high and on alot of days your going over that. My calorie intake is set at 1930 and thats with an active lifestyle. I have also looked at your food diary and you eat lots of carbs try reducing your calorie intake to around 1500 a day and carbs to around 100-150g a day. You have a habit of going over your calorie goals so try and stick to them.

Useful Edison quotes (or something close to his quotes):

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize HOW CLOSE THEY WERE to success when they gave up.”

“When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this - you haven't.”

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to TRY JUST ONE MORE TIME.”

And perhaps my personal favorite...
"THERE ARE NOT RULES HERE -- WE'RE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING.”

If you know what you need to do already (eat healthy, get some exercise to be healthy), then only you can determine why you are failing. But, you already acknowledge that 1) You KEEP trying, and 2) You don't "fail" as badly ... which really just means you are learning what works for you.

Best of luck... I believe you can do it. :flowerforyou:

Just have to say who much I really loved your reply.

Have you tried going to the store WITH your parents? That might help you get more of a say in what they buy.