I feel so bad,others have been able to do it, why cant I?

Stop. Just stop. Decide that every moment before now is the past - and it is, you know. Decide that from this moment on you will:
1. consider every bite before you take it. Just because someone gives you something to eat doesn't mean you have to eat it. And, if you do have it, it doesn't mean you have to eat the whole thing
2. Every bite is a decision. Is this good for me? Do I want it? It's ok to eat stuff you want that isn't good for you, you just need to acknowledge it BEFORE you take the bite and own the decision. I'm drinking a glass of wine right now.
3. Stop beating yourself up. We're all only human. Just because some people have lost 10 lbs in a week doesn't mean you have to. Start smaller. Decide to make small changes that will allow you to drop a pound a week. Or, a pound every two weeks. The speed of the journey isn't what matters - that you're working to becoming healthier is what matters.
4. Log every single bite as quickly as possible. Know off the top of your head how many calories you have left. And, make decisions. Own the food instead of letting the food own you. If people give you grief because you choose to not eat it, let them. If someone cries that you don't appreciate them, let them cry. Just explain that you need to be healthier. If they keep pushing, let them know you'd appreciate their support, but you're going to do this regardless.

When I started this journey, it was a lark. I wondered if I could do it. The basics seemed so simple - plug in your numbers, eat what you want, and don't go over your calories. I was shocked that it worked. Now, it wasn't always easy to keep to my calories, and I sometimes went over. But, each time I did, it was my decision to go over and by how much. I didn't give myself a timeline, and although I set a goal, I wasn't pushing toward reaching it at any specific time - didn't think I could. Shocked me that I did. It took me a year to lose 35 lbs. But, it was the journey to eating healthier that was important to me. Stop stressing on the scale. Decide you're going to do this for you and do it. You can, you know.

I understand...my husband only eats crap and before long, my healthy eating habits went right down the toilet. Best advice? Log in often and keep yourself busy with other things. Take a photo of yourself and put it on the refrigerator or cupboards to remind you that you are doing this for yourself. Brush your teeth instead of picking up the tempting foods...I also try using Crest mouthwash (in the white bottle)...makes foods taste terrible for hours. Buy an outfit one size less and hang it in your room to look at every day. It will feel so good when it fits.

Maybe try cooking for them while you cook for yourself...take back your control.

You can do this - you just have to decide that you are worth this effort. This is something that is very hard to understand because we are all so negative about ourselves (who needs enemies when we have our own inner voices)?

Don't give up, you have not failed! You just need to make some adjustments and give it time and lots of hard work. I'm struggling right now as well. I have a vision of what I want to be/want to happen, but I am trying to do so many things at once, I often get frustrated, so this month I am trying to take it slower and focus on the important things.

Looking at your diary, yes you are way over on calories a lot of days... instead of eating 2 oatmeal packets... eat only 1. eat only 1-2 thing for a snack instead of 3-4. for snacks i just try to have a piece of fruit, or protein bar, sometimes crackers w/ laughing cow cheese, veggies & hummus if you like dip.

You can also go on fat2fitradio and figure out your bf% and then bmr and all of that... there is a good link... i don't have it open atm, perhaps someone else will post it. but if you search here it might come up. that will help you more with a calorie goal.

I so can relate! I feel like I am big goof up with this, most of it is me in the end. I still don't know why I mess up and slip. I have gotton so bad now I won't log my food beacuse I don't want to know how bad I am doing. I keep working out, but I have this voice in the back my head that will tell me go ahead and eat that ice cream it's okay you workout out today. I just read a great book called Primal Nutrition and it made a lot of sense when I read it. I recomend checking out the website www.marksdailyapple.com. It's the author of the books blog and some other stuff. I am also going to be doing the Beachbody Ultimate Reset (like a cleanse) to help me get refoucsed. Check out the website. I have made a lot of the meals but fell off the wagon again...keep your chin up and we will get through.

You've gotten some pretty good advice in the past hour. I just wanted to add my 2 cents. You CAN do it. Every single person on earth CAN. But weight loss is hard work. You REALLY have to WANT to lose weight to do it. If that wasn't true, the world would be full of skinny people. So asks yourself, what do I REALLY want? And then ask yourself, what that will do for you? Saying, "I want to lose weight and fit into smaller clothes" is different than saying, "I want to lose weight and fit into smaller clothes that I can wear to my high school reunion coming up in July." See the difference?? If you get what you REALLY want, nothing will deter you. 13 years ago, I saw a picture that my co-worker took of me sitting at my desk. I had a perfectly round circle of a face. Just like Charlie Brown. That day I decided to lose weight and kept 65 pounds off for about 12 years. Now I got sloppy and am here because I put some back on. But I did it and you can too. Believe in yourself and your dreams.
And with goodies in the house, my friend keeps her family's cookies in a separate drawer in the kitchen. Yes, she knows that they are there. But for the most part, it helps. Out of sight, out of mind is at least half of the battle.

From my efforts over the years and why I feel more confident this time, allow me to share.
I have lost and regained weight a few times. I tried in January to get started again but went visiting and slipped off track.
I spoke to a friend who had lost 50 lbs on the diabetic diet program at the local hospital who provided a lot of help and support.

I watched a local public TV show called TVO/the agenda.org about addiction on April 3, 2012. The panel consisted of a neuroscientist who used to be a drug addict in his youth, a philosopher focusing on addiction who is a recovering alcoholic, a medical director of a 12-step food addiction clinic and a clinical director of a large addiction centre.

They made me aware of a number of points.
*Addictions (shopping, gambling, sex, food, drugs, food) start out as choices which are repeated and then develop into cravings with established neural pathways in the brain.

*When we first choose to eat food with sugar, fat and starch, we get a dopamine rush and gratification.
* With repeated treats, we get the dopamine rush just by thinking about those foods. If this happened in childhood, it is longterm conditioning. If it started as an adult, it still eventually becomes an automatic response based on established neural pathways in our brain so we are not ever conscious of this happening.

To change, I had to consciously recognize the addictive behaviour, take charge of my thoughts and choices, develop new neural pathways and set a goal. I used portion control as my goal based on the public dietitian's food guide for my age. My DH was concerned with his weight gain due to health issues and was willing to join me which has made things much easier but I would have done it anyway.

If I still had a difficult job or otherwise really stressful life, I believe it would be unrealistic to think that I could focus to the same extent as I can today.

Whenever I think of slipping up, I realize that this is just what an alcoholic or drug addict is dealing with.
To create these new neural pathways required me to have the same focus and effort as learning a new language, I think. I read and reread for a month each evening, the size of the diabetic exchanges that I had copied from a library book until I was so familiar and knew what they meant. I bought some stainless steel cup measures to make sure that I was eating the right amount especially of the starch which is so easy to exceed.

My friend stressed the need to record every morsel that crossed my lips. I joined this site and there were a number of times when I stopped and reconsidered an item because I did not want to record it.

Look at the carb exchanges on the diabetic listings.http://www.livestrong.com/article/109839-diabetic-carb-exchange-list/

I have now lost 18 lbs since January and feel a lot lighter and more active. I have 22 lbs more that I should lose. I walk 2 1/2 miles a day for exercise. I am determined to stay on correct portion because just like the drug addict or alcoholic, I don't want to return to the addictive state. I now focus on what is the right size for me. When someone tries to feed you something different, think and ask yourself, would you offer alcohol to an alcoholic? What would the alcoholic say or do? I am not responsible for what others do, just my own choices.

I focus on starch carbs of 30 gms per meal, limit my daily fruit and dairy to three portions, daily protein to 2 (2 1/2 oz or 1/2 cup) portions with one being 1/4 C of cottage cheese with breakfast cereal or I get hungry midmorning, a daily limit of 2 Tbsp fat and unlimited vegetables. If I have legumes, I must remember that each legume portion supplies both protein and starch for that meal.

Hope that helps and that you find a way that works well for you.

It is possible that you eat unhealthy food as a way to cope for something else in life, or as a comfort. You should try and figure out why it is you can't resist the bad food and focus on solving that first. Otherwise, diet will always be a torturous struggle.

I think this is the number one reason dieters fail.

Hey i have had a look at your diary and perhaps your calorie intake set at 2100 is to high and on alot of days your going over that. My calorie intake is set at 1930 and thats with an active lifestyle. I have also looked at your food diary and you eat lots of carbs try reducing your calorie intake to around 1500 a day and carbs to around 100-150g a day. You have a habit of going over your calorie goals so try and stick to them.

Useful Edison quotes (or something close to his quotes):

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize HOW CLOSE THEY WERE to success when they gave up.”

“When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this - you haven't.”

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to TRY JUST ONE MORE TIME.”

And perhaps my personal favorite...
"THERE ARE NOT RULES HERE -- WE'RE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING.”

If you know what you need to do already (eat healthy, get some exercise to be healthy), then only you can determine why you are failing. But, you already acknowledge that 1) You KEEP trying, and 2) You don't "fail" as badly ... which really just means you are learning what works for you.

Best of luck... I believe you can do it. :flowerforyou:

Just have to say who much I really loved your reply.