pardon me for this rant

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kattiek
kattiek Posts: 83
in Motivation and Support
I'm having a really hard time adjusting to living at home with my parents after living at college for 4 years. I've become really conscious of what I should be eating in the past year or so because I wanted to get rid of that freshman 20 and I also added on nutrition as my minor. When I was living at school I was responsible for preparing meals and such and did a decent job of eating lots of fruits, vegetable, lean meats, and pretty much only keeping whole grains on hand. I may not have dropped a whole lot of weight while I was at school, but I generally felt better because of what I was eating most of the time. Now that I'm home and I'm depending on my parents, it's been pretty bad considering that they don't really give a damn about what they're eating, especially my dad. I've had quite the struggle with willpower since my dad always has junk food in the house and my mom loves to cook with butter. My mom usually makes dinner for us (how 1950s of us lol :smile: ) and sometimes I do make requests like "if you're going to fry the eggplant, can you not fry all of it, I'll roast my portion in the oven." However, I can tell by her reactions lately that I'm beginning to be a pain in the *kitten* and unfortunately I've also gained weight. It's not a whole lot, but the short amount of time when I was 145 felt amazing and now I'm back to 150 again. I don't mean for this to sound whiny, so I apologize if it comes off this way, but It's just been hard to adjust these past few months. My dad is obese and could give a crap what he puts into his body. There's really no way for me to try and talk him into jumping on a healthy bandwagon. I've tried, and he gets defensive and angry about any type of healthy suggestion that he should be doing, including going to the doctor or dentist. Like I said, I think my mom is starting to get annoyed with me. She keeps saying she's going to get back on Weight Watchers but doesn't want to deal with my dad getting pissy because we don't want unhealthy food in the house. I agree with her, but I think that part of it is an excuse, like a "get out of jail free" card. Example: she made key lime pie and carrot cake, neither of which my dad really likes, last Sunday when my brother came over for dinner.

Sorry it's long, but thanks for reading it. I know if anyone understands the trials and tribulations of weight loss, it's you guys :flowerforyou:
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Replies

  • kblu0816
    kblu0816 Posts: 1,627 Member
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    Totally understand....my Dad's obese but the odd thing is all they keep in the house is healthy stuff....downside....dad drinks and they go out alot!!! i don't live with them anymore but it still can be very frustrating so I understand 100%
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    Can you not make your own food? Or maybe just get a food scale so you can watch portions? I've been at my healthiest during the times I've gone home because my stepmom has an amazing food scale and I don't have to buy so many groceries (although I still buy things I primarily eat). There's really no reason to depend on your mom for food anymore, IMO.
  • kbirky73
    kbirky73 Posts: 110
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    Can you ask your mom to NOT cook for you?
    Tell her that you know that they like what they like, but that you are really trying to maintain the healthiest of choices?

    My husband and I have sit down dinners with our 3 children, but if they are eating pasta, I will heat up a healthy choice pasta dish. I still get to eat with my family .. but do it for 1000 calories less.
  • MyKids04
    MyKids04 Posts: 178 Member
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    Make your own food and still eat with them at the table. I have 4 kids and a husband and my husband does all our cooking and he does the best dishes. Soul Food need I say more. But I had to learn to eat my low cal foods and only eat the veggies with them because as good as the smoothered turkey wings and bake mac and cheese smells I can't have it.
  • bapaige
    bapaige Posts: 18 Member
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    I know how you feel! My mother-in-law lives with us, and I don't know how many times I have come home from work to find fried chicken, mashed potatoes, or spaghetti, cake or whatever else she has decided to make during the day. Shes know I am trying to lose weight, but gets really offended when I don't want to eat what I cook. I tell her that I can't eat those things because they are not healthy, but still goes right over her head. Then last night, she made sloppy joes. I didn't get to eat lunch, so I had some of the sloppy joe (no bread). She then informs me that "you are ruining your diet"!!! Ugh!!!

    Trust me when I say, I feel your need to rant!!
  • savvystephy
    savvystephy Posts: 4,151 Member
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    I understand completely. Granted, at my school I could only eat at the one dining hall, but it is really hard to adjust living with family and not on my own. I knew I didn't want to live with my mom since she would just treat me like a 12 year old, so I am living with my grandmother and aunt. My grandmother does most of the cooking and she's Italian. It makes her feel better when she gives everyone a lot of food. So, I try to watch what I eat but she keeps trying to shove more food on my plate. It's frustrating.
    :flowerforyou:
  • kattiek
    kattiek Posts: 83
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    I'll have to do that more often, just tell her not to cook for me, I'll do my own thing. We unfortunately do not have a food scale. I recently got a good job, so I'll have money to spend on getting healthier things at the grocery store for myself and I'll definitely be getting a food scale as well. Thanks for the help and understanding!
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
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    Hey hey, you're on your way. This is easy,

    1 - Job (Done, good job :smile: ).
    2 - Apartment
    3 - Buy/Cook/Eat what you please.


    And there you go,,,:drinker:
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    Hey hey, you're on your way. This is easy,

    1 - Job (Done, good job :smile: ).
    2 - Apartment
    3 - Buy/Cook/Eat what you please.


    And there you go,,,:drinker:

    Heck yea!! Until your roommates eat all your cereal. :explode: But the nice ones replace it. :laugh:
  • 1Sweets
    1Sweets Posts: 395
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    Hey hey, you're on your way. This is easy,

    1 - Job (Done, good job :smile: ).
    2 - Apartment
    3 - Buy/Cook/Eat what you please.


    And there you go,,,:drinker:

    That's an excellent idea LOL but for the meanwhile....

    No body likes to hear unsolicited advice especially when from their smart kids. People even parents learn by example. If you don't like their food you'll have to make your own. Rome wasnt built in a day ya know. My husband loves junk food just like your dad...but he's seeing me loose and he now wants to follow suit. So see it's contagious if you just give it time. Plant the seed and watch it grow.

    You know even for yourself the minute somebody starts "selling" what they want people turn away. It's all in how you say it too. Maybe try a different approach...like no approach. My son is always lecturing me about nutrition...he's only 17! We know were bad but no ready to change everything. So enjoy the free rent & free food & act like their not there.

    BTW you learned how to write beautifully in College:drinker: Good Luck
  • missbabybee
    missbabybee Posts: 64
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    I know you love your parents and you want them to get on the healthy wagon because you want them to live longer and healthier lives. As with anything else, you can only dictate what happens to YOUR body. They have to make the decision to eat healthier for themselves. All you can do is share your knowledge with them, and let them choose.

    In my household, I cook for my husband and son and I sometimes have to make a separate dish for me. It is something I CHOOSE to do for myself. Politely let your mom know that you are concerned about your weight and that you will begin preparing meals for yourself. Maybe watching you prepare some of the healthier foods make your mom want to try it. Our parents' cooking skills are learned from THEIR parents, at a time when they weren't so concerned about bad fats, cholesterol, and carbs! Sometimes, it's not about not wanting to eat healthy, they just don't know HOW to cook healthier foods...
  • MrsMerk
    MrsMerk Posts: 6 Member
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    I understand its tough when you are not in control of whats put in front of your face. When family would come to visit from out of town and stay a few days, I knew it was not going to be good to my waist. It was just a food buffet of doughnuts, cakes, cookies, bars, sandwiches and pasta and everything else with lots of mayo, butter, greasey, fried blah of anything you can think of. From the minute we woke, all day, to bedtime, someone was eating something.
    Now that Im on a diet, I do ask my family to not bring any junk food into my house. But Its not their fault I was heavy and chose to eat it. I am now getting more in control that if someone wants to bring a LITTLE something, because they are not the fatty one, its really ok. I am getting better at controlling my portions and I love it. This website is very helpful and even my mother in law is now using it. She really does like it and its very easy for her to use.
    Now, for family, let them eat what they want. You are in control of what you eat, so buy your own groceries. Hopefully soon you will have your own little kitchenette or studio where you will have full control of what is in your home and fridge. Good luck.

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    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Calorie Counter
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    oops, wrong post
  • moujie
    moujie Posts: 229
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    what about offering to cook one night a week? tell them not to worry you won't make it all green and flavorless and then make something delicious that does not seem like "diet food" - make enough so you have leftovers so at least that'd be 2 nights of the week you felt good about dinner. otherwise I'd work on Casper's plan! :wink:
  • kattiek
    kattiek Posts: 83
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    I needed a little perspective change and I feel more motivated now. Thanks everyone! :happy:
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
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    I understand it's a struggle with junk in the house. I have a similar problem with my BF. I agree with other comments that making your own food seems like a very reasonable option.

    When my BF has something to say about me making healthy food for dinner my reply is something along the lines of, "Okay, well this is what I'm making for me, and if you don't like it you really don't have to eat it." Maybe that's how your mom is beginning to feel about your special requests. I work more hours every week than my bf and I'm not his personal chef no matter what inane gender roles he's clinging to. :laugh:
  • jlefton1212
    jlefton1212 Posts: 171 Member
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    Maybe you can offer to cook dinner one night a week. Don't say it's because you want healthier food or want to force it on them...just say that you appreciate that they let you stay with them, and that while you were at college you started cooking and you really enjoy it...and you would love to be able to give your mom a night off and make something delicious for the family. Then you can sneak in some healthy cooking methods, or slowly introduce them to healthier options, and at the same time you'll have a little more control over the meals. And you can make extras for yourself so that you can eat the leftovers!
  • OomarianneoO
    OomarianneoO Posts: 689 Member
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    It is extremely hard to eat right when everyone else around you doesn't give a damn. My hubby cooks for himself now. I cook for me and the kids most of the time. I'm so ashamed to say that my youngest son is obese for his age. As hard as I try, I can't always make him eat whatever I'm eating when daddy's food is so much "yummier". But here's something...just out of the blue yesterday, my son says to me that he wants to walk/jog with me around the lake!! Go figure! Subliminal messages I'm sending my son - it's GREAT! lol

    Love the idea someone threw out there, to offer to cook one night out of the week. There are some really yummy recipes on MFP.

    Now if I could get everyone in the house to stop eating "my" food along with their food, I'll be happy.
  • paddlemom
    paddlemom Posts: 682 Member
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    Now if I could get everyone in the house to stop eating "my" food along with their food, I'll be happy.

    Oh I second that one!!!! My dh and kids are thin and can basically eat what they want. I buy myself some portion control treats, so I can have a little something once in awhile. I am learning to be good and they will last...but now I have to hide them cause they will eat them up cause they were open or handy rather than going to find their own munchies!!!!:explode:
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
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    Now if I could get everyone in the house to stop eating "my" food along with their food, I'll be happy.

    Oh I second that one!!!! My dh and kids are thin and can basically eat what they want. I buy myself some portion control treats, so I can have a little something once in awhile. I am learning to be good and they will last...but now I have to hide them cause they will eat them up cause they were open or handy rather than going to find their own munchies!!!!:explode:

    Same problem. Can I tell you how disgusted I was last night when I watched dbf down one of my *diet soda* cupcakes only to wash it down with 1/2 pint of full-fat gelato?! :mad: I wouldn't mind sharing if he was actually making an honest effort to eat healthier, but what a waste of my special treat!

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