Moms of middle school/high school kids, am I over reacting?

RachelsReboot
RachelsReboot Posts: 569 Member
edited December 18 in Chit-Chat
My son who is in 7th grade came home today and told me he had lunch detention. I ask him what he did to get detention and he tells me that he called a kid an idiot. So I say OK, well then you deserve detention, you know better. Then he says, but the other kid didn't get detention because he's the coach's son. To which I am thinking ugh, that kid is an idiot, he has harassed my son for 2 years. So after I find out who the kid is I ask my son, well WHY did you call him and idiot and he says cause he said to me "sit down and shut up you *kitten*" ok well that changes things. I asked why he didn't get detention and my son says that he wasn't going to say anything to the teacher "because we are in 7th grade not kindergarten". Apparently the other kid did go tell and got a friend to vouch for his story that my son called him this unprovoked, which if you knew the kids, is a joke, he's a bully. My son says he did tell the teacher why he called him an idiot but the teacher asked if he had a witness and he said no so the other kid got off free.

Anyways then he said well mom, I don't get to go on my end of the year field trip tomorrow because Mr.Soandso said I can't serve it on Friday, I have to miss the whole trip to serve it tomorrow. Ok well now I am a little pissed, the other kid got off with nothing and my son has to miss his end of the year field trip? I agree that he should serve detention but I don't think he should have to miss his field trip to serve it, I also think the other kid should be in detention too and if he doesn't want to give him detention also then he shouldn't give it to my son. I want to go to the school tomorrow and talk to the principle about it but I don't want seem like I am over reacting. Am I?

Replies

  • Kiya542
    Kiya542 Posts: 2
    Absolutely not. If it was me I would be up there to and I would pitch a fit. They would be careful in the future because after I got done they wouldn't want to see me in there ever again. Stand up for your son. This is a form of bullying and that kid knows that he can get away with it.
  • LReneeWalker
    LReneeWalker Posts: 213 Member
    Nope... fight for him!
  • Kiya542
    Kiya542 Posts: 2
    Oh yeah, If they don't make it right. Bring it up at this month's school Board meeting.
  • superstankazz
    superstankazz Posts: 193
    DEFINITELY you should talk to the principal! Bullies calling kids *kitten* nowadays ends in suicide (not that your son is suicidal). Most schools have a zero tolerance policy for saying "*kitten*" because it's hate speech. That other kid should be serving a detention right along with your boy! I would call first thing in the morning, in my experience that is the best time to get ahold of the principals.
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
    You are not overreacting. It's bullying and it must be stopped. Go to the board and the superintendent. Raise hell!!

    (Edited to add, I teach high schoolers )
  • kymillion
    kymillion Posts: 791 Member
    My son who is in 7th grade came home today and told me he had lunch detention. I ask him what he did to get detention and he tells me that he called a kid an idiot. So I say OK, well then you deserve detention, you know better. Then he says, but the other kid didn't get detention because he's the coach's son. To which I am thinking ugh, that kid is an idiot, he has harassed my son for 2 years. So after I find out who the kid is I ask my son, well WHY did you call him and idiot and he says cause he said to me "sit down and shut up you *kitten*" ok well that changes things. I asked why he didn't get detention and my son says that he wasn't going to say anything to the teacher "because we are in 7th grade not kindergarten". Apparently the other kid did go tell and got a friend to vouch for his story that my son called him this unprovoked, which if you knew the kids, is a joke, he's a bully. My son says he did tell the teacher why he called him an idiot but the teacher asked if he had a witness and he said no so the other kid got off free.

    Anyways then he said well mom, I don't get to go on my end of the year field trip tomorrow because Mr.Soandso said I can't serve it on Friday, I have to miss the whole trip to serve it tomorrow. Ok well now I am a little pissed, the other kid got off with nothing and my son has to miss his end of the year field trip? I agree that he should serve detention but I don't think he should have to miss his field trip to serve it, I also think the other kid should be in detention too and if he doesn't want to give him detention also then he shouldn't give it to my son. I want to go to the school tomorrow and talk to the principle about it but I don't want seem like I am over reacting. Am I?


    go get him tiger I would be pissed , if they are treated fairly and justly fine but favoritism is lame.. did the coaches son have a witness?
  • Julz2586
    Julz2586 Posts: 1,330 Member
    My son who is in 7th grade came home today and told me he had lunch detention. I ask him what he did to get detention and he tells me that he called a kid an idiot. So I say OK, well then you deserve detention, you know better. Then he says, but the other kid didn't get detention because he's the coach's son. To which I am thinking ugh, that kid is an idiot, he has harassed my son for 2 years. So after I find out who the kid is I ask my son, well WHY did you call him and idiot and he says cause he said to me "sit down and shut up you *kitten*" ok well that changes things. I asked why he didn't get detention and my son says that he wasn't going to say anything to the teacher "because we are in 7th grade not kindergarten". Apparently the other kid did go tell and got a friend to vouch for his story that my son called him this unprovoked, which if you knew the kids, is a joke, he's a bully. My son says he did tell the teacher why he called him an idiot but the teacher asked if he had a witness and he said no so the other kid got off free.

    Anyways then he said well mom, I don't get to go on my end of the year field trip tomorrow because Mr.Soandso said I can't serve it on Friday, I have to miss the whole trip to serve it tomorrow. Ok well now I am a little pissed, the other kid got off with nothing and my son has to miss his end of the year field trip? I agree that he should serve detention but I don't think he should have to miss his field trip to serve it, I also think the other kid should be in detention too and if he doesn't want to give him detention also then he shouldn't give it to my son. I want to go to the school tomorrow and talk to the principle about it but I don't want seem like I am over reacting. Am I?

    No your not over reacting! go in there and talk to the principle!
    Its not right at all!!

    GO GET 'EM!
    Stand up for your son!
  • kathyc609
    kathyc609 Posts: 258 Member
    Oh yeah, If they don't make it right. Bring it up at this month's school Board meeting.

    exactly this ~ fight for your son. bring it right to the board if you cannot resolve it through the school
    i have a 7th grader -- and did just that. put it out in the community and appealed the decision after the initial appeals board denied my appeal. fought until i won and charges were dropped. we as tax payers pay thier salaries
  • Brea_81
    Brea_81 Posts: 36 Member
    I'd be pissed. Definitely go talk to the principal. Both boys should have gotten detention for name calling if that's the school policy, and on top of that, it's completely unfair for your son to miss his field trip.
  • BuckeyeLife
    BuckeyeLife Posts: 313 Member
    I'd go have a talk with the principle, but I don't have kids. Doesn't change opinion though, what happened is wrong, and when something wrong occurs someone needs to say something.
  • RachelsReboot
    RachelsReboot Posts: 569 Member
    Thanks, I will be taking him to school in the morning to talk to the principle, as far as I can see it the only resolution should be that they both have detention but I think they shouldn't have to miss their end of the year field trip for it, they can do it the following day.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I would email the principal and copy the Superintendent. Type out exactly what your son's claims are. Request a meeting with the teacher, principal, and your son.
  • LoggingForLife
    LoggingForLife Posts: 504 Member
    No, you aren't overreacting. Go to the Principal and if you don't get results, go to the Superintendent. Tell him the word "*kitten*" is considered hate speech and you want something done about the other child. You are well within your rights.
  • Goldenbast
    Goldenbast Posts: 227 Member
    Tell the school in no uncertain terms that if something is not done, not only will you send a formal complaint to the school board, but you will file a police report for bullying and hate crimes on school property and then you will file a lawsuit in small claims court for pain and suffering, mental anguish and slander, that you will have plenty of proof with all the articles in various newspapers and child psychologist papers on the very detrimental effects of bullying on childrens minds and that it does in fact lead to suicide and kids bringing guns to school.

    I had to do this very same thing when my child got beat up so bad she had to go to the hospital...trust me...the school takes quick action when you threaten this stuff, because you are in the right.
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
    So what happened?? A boy in my daughter's class keeps telling her that he's going to military school and when he comes back he's going to kill her. Nothing is being done to him and I am livid.
  • RachelsReboot
    RachelsReboot Posts: 569 Member
    So what happened?? A boy in my daughter's class keeps telling her that he's going to military school and when he comes back he's going to kill her. Nothing is being done to him and I am livid.

    Laura, that is so funny that I posted an update at the exact same time you posted. This stuff is getting scary, especially given all that has happened with young kids at school. You should be livid, I would be too. I am really sitting here trying to think of a way I could work homeschooling my kids into my schedule, but my two youngest are so social that I don't know how they would handle it.

    Here is the update http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/586062-update-on-middle-school-lunch-detention-and-the-bully
  • LisaF1163
    LisaF1163 Posts: 141
    Absolutely go fight for your kid! You're not over-reacting in the least! And I say this as someone who doesn't have kids - I do have seven nieces and nephews, though, and if something like this happened, and I needed to go to bat for them, I'd do it without hesitation.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    First, sometimes guys joke around like that - it's a guy thing that women just don't get. Be sure there is actual malice behind it. If there is...

    There comes a time in life where there won't be a teacher to save your *kitten*. So, let's try a father-approved answer.

    Tell the kid not to insult him back, but to warn the bully to never speak to him like that again. If it persists through that, and it probably won't, then I'd give him permission to clock him after school. Sometimes detention is worth your self-respect.

    I believe was "bullied" once in 10th grade by a kid kicking me in the back the seat. Ignoring it failed. So I stood up in middle of class, stared him down, and told him to cut it out in my loudest, most intimidating voice. He didn't bother me after that. Nobody did, and I was a fat band geek.

    One public stand-down is usually enough to ensure people don't mess with you. Bullies are usually wimps.
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