Family being enables

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Hey everyone! I just started yesterday, and I am already upset. I told my family that I have to lose 100lbs. and that I am going to on the first. So today I get up walk my two dogs for 30 minutes and that was the most exercise I did in years. The encouraged I get for that is me coming home to bacon, eggs, pancakes, and pork chops for breakfast. It made me so mad that I left home and come back to a box of pizza on the table. I don't know what to do about this. What are some ways that your family enables you? And how did you fix the problem?

Replies

  • myfriendamy
    myfriendamy Posts: 131 Member
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    unless your family is going to change their eating habits along with you, this will be a hurdle for you. just because the food is there (and oh so tempting!), doesn't mean you have to eat it! you're making this lifestyle change to be a healthier YOU, and you can absolutely do that. keep that in mind as you pass up the temptations.

    I'm not saying it'll be easy! I live in a house with two junk food eaters... I do feel your pain! but if I don't eat it, they aren't enabling me. I'm stronger than that, and so are you :)

    you're off to a great start :)
  • mangosabayon
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    :( oh no, my whole family is tracking so we can do it together. They are not all trying to lose weight, but it's fun for the kids. I say find some support on this site. Get some quick easy breakfast options so you can pass by the high fat high cal foods. Egg beater, English muffin, turkey bacon. Ask them to throw these on for you when they cook up the artery clogging foods that are no good for your heart. Ask if they can get thin crust with more veggies, the crust will save you about 80-120 calories/slice. Do one slice of pizza and a low cal salad. Show them you are serious, that you are strong, it seems to me like you have made a decision to do this for you and your health so I know you can do what feels right inside your heart.
  • getfitkaylen808
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    I know how you feel! My family does that to me all the time! My other is on the heavier side, but my father is a lifeguard and my brother is all-state track star... so they don't really have weight to lose... AT ALL... And everytime I tell them I'm gonna go on a diet, they decide to go out to some awesome restaurant or buffet... It drives me nuts... I find though, that I just gotta do my own thing and ignore them. After a while, they realized that I was really trying, so they're better now.. But every so often, they like to go a tempt me... So I say, just show them that your serious, and really committed to them.. Then hopefully they'll realize how important this is for you and support you in a better way!(:
  • SweetxCatastrophe
    SweetxCatastrophe Posts: 593 Member
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    My husband is super skinny no matter what he eats, so he eats all kinds of yummy but terrible things. Sometimes I make meals that are secretly healthy, sometimes I modify something I make for him so I can eat it too, and sometimes there are foods I tell him flat out he cant eat. It helps that I do all the cooking :) Just remind yourself none of those foods will help you reach your goals..they'll only hurt you..and eventually you wont even be tempted anymore
  • 0622cameron
    0622cameron Posts: 49
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    My husband has been that way for a while he eats Ice cream sandwiches, candy bars and never gains weight. But I had to decide that I was not going to let that stop my progress. He has finally stopped eating those around me and my daughter just so he does not tempt us. It is a work in progress once your family realizes that you are serious about it they will get with the program, but if they don't you have to remember that this change is for you!!
  • lstnlondry
    lstnlondry Posts: 1,794 Member
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    As a mother I know I show my love with food. It may take time for the "cook" in the house to reakize that you no longer need that. I say surround yourself with the most supportive mfps and be Strong! Im proud of you for walking!
  • navy1984
    navy1984 Posts: 57
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    My family eats horribly. But I finally stopped making excuesses for the reasons I kept failing, accepted that I am not on a 'diet' and ignore the snide, "YOUR OBESSED!" remarkes. You can do it, I have faith in you. You just gotta have faith in youself and know its never over, even when you hit that magic goal number or jean size. Being healthy is a lifelong thing, it never ends. I know you got this! You eat what is going to make your body feel good to get out there and work out, and whats going to make you feel good about you! :smile:
  • sammi402
    sammi402 Posts: 232 Member
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    When I first started trying to lose weight my hubby would bring home reese's peanut butter cups or some other junkfood that I love. He likes his women on the bigger side. However, once he realized that I was really serious about this he got better. My folks and kids have been really great about this too.

    Just stick to your guns. You are doing this for you! Keep that in mind and don't give up no matter what your family does.
  • izzydino
    izzydino Posts: 254 Member
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    I totally feel your pain. This is the hardest hurdle to over come... take one moment at a time, plan your foods a head of time... you can do this!
  • squirrelygirl82
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    That is rough. I live alone, so I normally don't have this problem. But when I go home and see my family on my weekends off, it is hard to feel like I am keeping my calorie consumption in check. But I find that if I am honest with my food tracking, I do better than I think I do. You can have a piece of pizza, just don't over do it, and remember to log it! Then, like someone above me said - eat a salad rather than going for another piece. I think if you log it right away, it also helps you stay in check. So you know next time you eat, you have x amount of calories left for the day, so use them wisely.

    Good Luck on your journey!
  • MoominFit
    MoominFit Posts: 10
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    What role does food play in your home? Is it part of a social environment -- sharing tales, laughter, angst while eating? Is it a focus of pleasure -- enjoying eating and the taste of food as an activity, like other people might play sports or games, or read? The more you can identify how all that food (and the type of food) fits into the family structure, the more you'll be able to recognize that and resist. (Not that it'll be easy.)

    I grew up in a skinny family where my dad was very busy, and my mother was primarily the homemaker. They were kind but not very demonstrative people, so Mom showed love in part through baking (and because we didn't have much money to buy Things, nor was that part of our value system). We always had fresh baked cookies or some sweet around the house. Now years later, I struggle with losing weight gained during three pregnancies, and my family knows this. Yet every time we visit my parents (they live about an hour away), or they come to our home, my mother ALWAYS brings cookies or candy or something "for the kids." She knows we try to limit their sweets, and we've talked about how I don't want that stuff in my house. But I think she feels that they *enjoy* it so much, that it shows her love. (Though she is far more demonstrative with the kids than with us when we were little ... and she does spend time reading with them and playing piano, so it's not only the baking.)

    You know what goals you have set for yourself. You can talk with them and explain how they can eat what they want, but you're going to make different choices (because as a PP poster wrote, unless they're going to commit to healthier eating, you can't expect them to change what goes on the table, *especially* if food serves a big role in your family apart from ingesting calories for energy). You may try to find one ally in your family to help back you up? And you'll always have lots of support here on MFP to help you, though! And I suspect when you start seeing changes in your strength, your weight, and your own energy level, you may have a few envious family members who wished they would/could do the same! (Of course, they also could resent your success and try to tempt you with more food in order to justify their situation. Depending on what your family is like, it could go either way.)

    Good luck, and congratulations on making the commitment to feel better!
  • mygrl4meee
    mygrl4meee Posts: 943 Member
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    I asked my husband to stop handing me cookies. I explained to him that I already have to deal with a sweet tooth and the chances are that I have already ate something sweet. This was before this website. The funny part is that I didn't even care too much about the cookies. He is really good and for the most point doesn't just hand me food. He does still eat all the things that I don't but I just try to have lower calories sweets and if I do go for say a candy bar it's just not very often. Good luck.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    Hey everyone! I just started yesterday, and I am already upset. I told my family that I have to lose 100lbs. and that I am going to on the first. So today I get up walk my two dogs for 30 minutes and that was the most exercise I did in years. The encouraged I get for that is me coming home to bacon, eggs, pancakes, and pork chops for breakfast. It made me so mad that I left home and come back to a box of pizza on the table. I don't know what to do about this. What are some ways that your family enables you? And how did you fix the problem?

    Obviously, they are not into eating healthy as you are... Maybe you will rub off on them. Thankfully, our household is pretty much in the journey together (although our 10 year old don't have much choice in the matter...lol)... None-the-less, you have to do this for you and have to learn to manage this hurdle... Eat PARTS of what is offered you... It is as much about portion control as anything... Also, don't be surprised when others actually try to get you to eat... They don't understand your mentality on this... to them it is just a phase or they are trying to help you... I know @ work, my wonderful cafeteria ladies have been SOOOO kind to start preparing my plate before I get there (so they can make sure I have enough to eat... including double portions of EVERYTHING...) I just have to know when to "not clean my plate" as my dear mom always taught.... Best wishes on your journey... don't give up... do it for you.
  • scaredofcoasters
    scaredofcoasters Posts: 90 Member
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    I've tried to get my family into tracking, but my brother thinks it's stupid and my parents don't want to. At first I bought my own food and just kept that in check. After a while of checking myself every day, it became a habit (which I fell off of for a while, but I'm back). What's great is while my family doesn't care too much, I got my girlfriend into tracking! Now she's keeping me in check while starting her journey, which has helped immensely. Find a friend, or even a fellow MFPer, and keep each other motivated! Stick to your guns, eat a little of the food, but eat smaller portions, breathe, and if you are REALLY hungry, get another small portion. :) Good luck!
  • skb12573
    skb12573 Posts: 202 Member
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    I am the one that does 90% of cooking and grocery shopping so I control the flow of food. Before I made the decision to be healthier, my husband and I would go for take out at 11pm or late after eating a huge greasy dinner! If I said I was hungry, that I wanted something, that i was mad or upset, he would run to the store or to town for take out. Crazy, I know. When he wanted something, he stopped and always brought the family stuff too. I had to have several serious discussions and yes there was crying involved. There were several attempts on my part to get healthy and as long as I stayed strong, he did too. But the moment I slipped up, it was definitely a continuous fall into old habits. So, this time, I am stronger, my husband is stronger, my kids are young but we don't hide the lingo. They know healthy habits and unhealthy ones. The hear me say fat, diet, bad, but they hear me say healthy, strong, good too. It is always a work in progress but it is important enough for me to step up and be the leader of the famikly in regards to this. Best of luck to you! I know if you make your mind up, you CAN do it.
  • reinventingandrea
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    My family is supportive but all of them haven't changed their eating habits so it's hard. But I but my own groceries and fix my own food.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    Great start, keep up the exercising, you'll feel good and your dogs will be happy too!
    If your family eat this kind of food for breakfast you have two choices - eat a small portion of what they cook (portion control is a great skill to learn) or cook your own breakfast.
    Don't get into a big discussion with them about what you're doing - just go ahead and do it!
  • emma_473
    emma_473 Posts: 1
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    I feel your pain! My husband and son can eat anything they want and NEVER gain a pound so its really hard living with people that are constantly eating food that you can't touch :( be strong
  • brittanymt19
    brittanymt19 Posts: 43 Member
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    thanks everyone for the comments I took everyone advise and lose 6 pound this week. It feel so good and i am very happy with my self control. I not going to lie i did get some junk food but no where near as much i use too. I going to stay strong and not give up
  • GardenFolly
    GardenFolly Posts: 20
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    I hear what you are saying! I had this problem in the beginning ... people bringing treats home, etc. I pounded the message home that that this was serious. I told them it hurt me when they would tempt me with foods that were bad for me. I gave them reading material and I stuck to my guns. Okay, I caved in once or twice (which just served to convince me this was not how I wanted to eat.) But soon they saw that I meant it, and when the weight began to come off ... they were on board.
    I guess some of it depends on the set up of your family, who does the shopping and cooking. My husband is thin and has trouble putting on weight. He can eat anything (except all the veggies I love.) Teaching them about health consequences helped.
    I think if you stick with your goals, facilitate ways for you to eat healthily, they will come around. I even said I was willing to move out for a while and live on my own, if that is what it took! Good luck and stay with it!