oh snap

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paulaGetshealthy
paulaGetshealthy Posts: 464
in Chit-Chat
I met the nicest fella ever and he likes me and, well, the feeling is mutual. He's responsible, independent, and soooo sweet. Did I mention he's respectful? Uh huh, he totally didn't take advantage of poor little drunk Paula.

BUT. my brain is telling me I don't deserve him; "he's too good for you" it says. So, after hanging out with him and feeling beautiful and worthy, I go home and binge in hopes of gaining all the lost weight and becoming undesirable. This is my attempt at taking away his power to hurt me.

He calls me beautiful, and he's kind, and we are so compatible.

Do you guys think I should work on my self-esteem issues and avoid a relationship right now, or should I go for it? Would it just be a recipe for disaster if I went for it?

Replies

  • jenj1313
    jenj1313 Posts: 898 Member
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    Wow... that's a loaded question and not a lot to go on, but... is it possible that you could do both at the same time? What have you done re: your self esteem issues in the past (if anything)?
  • paulaGetshealthy
    paulaGetshealthy Posts: 464
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    I'm in therapy, I'm reading books, I'm going to eating disorder meetings. I'm definitely working on it. I don't know what to do. I really like him, but I don't want to sabotage myself.
  • _David_
    _David_ Posts: 476 Member
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    6969655416_fbd055821e.jpg
  • paulaGetshealthy
    paulaGetshealthy Posts: 464
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    hahahaha!!!
  • Karalopolous
    Karalopolous Posts: 574
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    Girl, you ARE beautiful! And I wanna hate on you for that awesome dress in your profile pic, haha (me<====jealous!! lol)
    Can you just take it slow and work on yourself in the meantime?
  • CeeRawr89
    CeeRawr89 Posts: 328 Member
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    Who hurt you in the past? Take that out of the equation and see him for all the qualities you like, if you have to make a pro/con list
  • Mceastes
    Mceastes Posts: 303 Member
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    I've heard this called "Comparing your insides to someone else's outsides" - you're comparing the worst parts of you, which you know about but he doesn't, to the little you know about him (he's got baggage too which he knows about, but you don't yet). This is what makes us feel unworthy, in my opinion, comparing our worst parts to their best parts. Once you realize that we've all got issues and NO ONE is even close to perfect, you can stop judging yourself so harshly while putting others up on unnecessary pedestals. You probably have a lot of great qualities - ask your close friends and they'll help you see them. Don't over-analyze yourself - just accept yourself, we're always growing. You're not any better or worse than anyone else, I'm sure (unless you steal purses from little old ladies or something really crappy like that that I don't know about) Seriously girl, think about it - you'll be happier and definitely improve your self-esteem if you take this to heart. :smile:

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