Child Weight Loss - Need Input!

mistylovesmusic · May 2012

My daughter had a physical yesterday and when she stepped on the scale my heart broke for her. She's 9 years old and weighed 102. If I rememeber right, she weighed about 85 pounds in November. We have had the talks about eating healthy and had even started packing a healthy lunch. I found out that she's been getting ice cream and chips etc on her lunch account at school. She has activity induced asthma so she's always disliked exercise. We recenlty started a no TV unless it's dark outside rule not only for my children but for me and my husband as well. I guess what I'm asking is how do you deal with this delicate subject with your children? She knows what the healthy foods are. Should I take her to see a nutritionist? I struggle with weight so I know how hurtful and sensitive this subject can be.

Gwoman2012 · May 2012

Oh no:( I'm so sorry, that is a really difficult subject. My kids are still really young and I can control their diet.

What did her doctor say to her?

Can you take away the access to her lunch account?

Have you tried doing light exercise with her daily- such as going on walks/bike rides? Make it fun and not a chore.

Have you taken all the junk out of your house?

I would stay away from the topic of her weight and focus on getting healthy, feeling better physically. My niece also has exercise-induced asthma and her doctor said it is 100% caused by her weight.

wildhehr2 · May 2012

A nutritionist is a great idea....but it might go over better if the appointment is either for you (with her tagging along) or the whole family. She should not be singled out. Also, is there a sport she could tolerate? I know you mentioned asthma, but is there something she enjoys? (ice skating/hockey works nicely for the asthmatics on my sons team). I'd also suggest, if you can, not putting more money on her lunch account until it was "supposed" to run out...take her to the grocery store and pick out good foods, and have her pack and bring her lunch until her account has money in it. Remember, the goal is to keep her weight steady until she grows into it.

kaylz0106 · May 2012

close the school lunch account if possible for starter and speak with her teachers, I'm in the UK and here the school employ a eat healthy attitude and it means that children who have lunch provided by the shcool with always get a good healthy meal and children with packed lunches are watched and if they are lacking a bit of healthyness the school will provide something be it a banana or an apple, they make sure that it is balanced.

Maybe try eating foods that you know are healthy and not giving her an option but to eat them? I have a 4 year old who eats what she's given or not at all. We have meal and snack times and if at breakfast she doesnt eat she waits until her banana at 11.

Exercise induced asthma doesn't mean she cant walk...even at a really slow pace jsut so that she is out and about wouldnt hurt?

She is also still young and it maybe something that she grows out of, my eldest sister was a big child until her hormones kicked in and now even after 2 children within 12 months of each other she is a UK size 8!

oh and personally I wouldnt talk to her about it just slowly intrduce a healthier way of living it wont be a rush to get it done to her then just more like a few peas here and a few carrots there...

I blab a lot about children and health sori....just important to me considering so many children dont really know that there are many different food groups and its not just chips and nuggets!

jonnyman41 · May 2012

It is easier to get a grip on it now than in a few years when she will be even heavier with more opportunity to eat elswhere too. Why not stop her lunch account as a start and give her packed lunches everyday. That way you have more control over what she eats. You are the mum and when they are aged 9 you and her dad have total control over what she eats if you choose to take that control. It's about being a parent rather than a friend. It may be hard at first but the alternative is far worse for her. When she is a teenager you have far less control but get it right now and hopefully you will set the standard for those difficult teen years.

Also, rather than discuss weight at this age why not start a family get healthy campaign that you all work together as a team on. Make it as fun as possible and set targets and rewards that are linked to healthy outcomes rather than extra tv/game time etc. Simple things like you make it a set plan that every week you have a set time to have mummy and daughter time while doing a power walk, her and her dad go a bike ride sunday mornings, Friday evening you have a family outing that involves more walking etc... If it is set as a plan for the whole family to get healthy, rather than lose weight, you avoid making the focus her weight only.

I would also take advise for you on menu planning from a nutritionist rather than get advise given to your daughter. She is 9 and is not really responsible for her eating yet. She can only do what you allow her to do. Set things by example is a very powerful tool. They could help you plan a week's menu and then involve your daughter in the prep at home so she gets used to being around healthy food all the time.

As for the asthma, even when triggered by exercise (one of my sons had that ) that is not a reason to not exercise. You start gentle such as walking, swimming etc and then the lungs build up and more exercise, not less actually helps. Enrol her in swimming lessons, see if your club has special swimming for asthmatics or start her with competion groups, (that's whate we did with our youngest when he was seven and by a year later his asthma tolerance levels were far far greater)

stephyy4632 · May 2012

talk to the school and close that acount (let her know that its closed) but make sure there is still something fun in her lunch so that its not a punishment to her kwim. We do bento style lunch boxes for our girls and they LOVE them and how fun they are to eat if you haven`t seen them before google bento lunch we have the laptop lunch box set and it works perfectly for my 7 and 5 year olds.

get active with her in the evening kids LOVE to play with there parents take walks , play tag, swim , bike ride , kick ball , hide and seek , jump on a tampoline, race , jump rope , hike ,it will all be good for both you and your child --- My girls LOVE Wii zumba or wii just dance when its a video game its not like working out to them its fun

don`t let them fix there plate them self at dinner you as the parent make the plate with the serving size in mind ( I`m in the opposite boat as you as both my girls are underweight currently so I have to up there portion size or get more high cal brands for them ) also a nutrisionist is a great option if your able to see one.

ChristineS_51 · May 2012

I have heard somewhere that you don't wnat them to lose weight, just maintain where they are and let them grow into the weight if you know what I mean. You need to tread carefully.

Maybe get her involved in cooking and planning and preparing meals, shopping, etc, maybe growing some vegies, so she knows just what she is putting in her mouth?

Good luck to you and your daughter

vim_n_vigor · May 2012

This is a tricky spot to be in. The whole family will really need to help here.

I think a nutritionist would be a great idea - for the whole family.

Maybe some special time on a walk with mommy could be a lot of fun for her. That shouldn't affect her asthma.

That weight seemed to come on pretty fast. Did the doctor discuss possibility of anything besides food that could be causing the gain? I doubt she is able to get enough junk on her school account to gain weight so quickly.

Has she been sad, depressed, or had changes in behavior? If she has, you might want to work with her school counselor to determine whether some therapy could help her too.

Please, whatever you do, don't make her feel bad or shame her for eating or being overweight. Even if you are very careful not to do these things, she is likely to pick up on them and hold them in for life - I know how that feels. Looking back, I don't think my parents were at all trying to do those things, but think of it from her perspective.

Ahluvly · May 2012

Hi there,

I'm 31 and only now am I seeing a Nutritionist. I wish I had of done it years ago. You need to nip her bad habits in the bud now because that is all they are, bad habits. She can be retrained (like anyone) into making better choices.

If you can get her to understand the importance of eating well through a balanced diet and doing regular activity it's going to stay with her for life. Of course, she's a child and impressionable. Tag in friends and peer pressure, it will boil down to the choices she makes that determine her weight and state of health. I'd perhaps turn it into a family thing, that you all go as a team and learn how to make the changes now that will educate her on making better food choices when you are not there (e.g. at school, round at a friend's house). I would emphasise that there needs to be some "cut loose time", I have Saturdays as a treat day and I have what I want but, because I feel a lot better in myself, I don't want to eat the crap nearly as much as I used to!

Good luck with everything

AshinAms · May 2012

I run a soccer academy for kids with my partner and we often have people come in with this problem. My advice to you is to exercise as a family. Walk/run/ride bikes/be active every possible moment. The exercise induced asthma is something that my own son suffered from but we found that as he got fitter the asthma disappeared. I wouldn't concentrate on the diet overly much, except to make healthy little changes like putting in fruit instead of cookies etc which I am sure you are already doing. The lunches can be a problem, I would stop that account and make treats a part of a mealtime. ie. if you have cookies/cake etc make it as a dessert as part of a meal rather than an isolated cookie/cake/ice cream moment. There is less tendency for it to be hidden consumption then.

We have found from our experience that the parents who come in with their kids and walk the walk (so to speak) have a lot more success than those who deliver the kid to us for two hours exercise twice a week without making the exercise an integral part of the family's activities. It's very difficult to do this though and probably much harder than concentrating solely on diet, but the two are so interconnected!

Good luck!

mistylovesmusic · May 2012

Thank you everyone for your input! This was a real wake up call for our family. I had already been seeing a personal trainer and my husband and I have eliminated unhealthy foods from our house because we are trying to lose some weight ourselves. We have taken a vow to quit eating out and I feel that will help a lot. I do agree that making healthier choices and increasing exercise is pthe best options for her. I don't want to put her on a diet but help her understand better choices and the benefits of staying active. I recently bought rollerblades for myself, so I think this weekend I'm going to get her a pair. We are also planning on a family YMCA membership where she and I can go to the pool and take regular zumba classes. Our oldest daughter is very active and plays soccer so this is something we never thought about. Again, I appreciate everyones help!

PLAID1977 · May 2012

Hi Misty,
I read your post about your daughter's weight. I know exactly what you are going through. I have 4 children. 3 of them are of average size but my oldest son, age 9 is very overweight. He's a big kid, always has been "off the charts". He's about 5 feet tall but weighs about 160 lbs! I worry about him constantly. He doesn't look his weight, if you know what I mean, but he still looks big. This year we started dealing with a bit of bullying about it. It has been so sad to watch him suffer. We have been working on healthy choices for the whole family for years. My husband and I lost weight and became much healthier using WW years ago. I've begun using MFP only recently as a means to journal my calories and compare with my WW points. My husband is down 75 lbs. I'm down 100 lbs. I say this only to show that our kids have watched big changes occur in our lifestyles. We seldom have true "junk" foods in our house. But my 9 year old, whose metabolism, build etc. is much like my husband's, loves food. Portion control and eating when he isn't hungry are his biggest downfalls. He too was "sneaking food" from his lunch acct. We put a block on breakfast as he eats at home (but was sometimes eating again at school) and snacks. We only put into his acct. the amt. he needs to eat one lunch per week from the cafeteria. He looks at the menu and chooses his day based on his favorite meal. It is sometimes the wors choice of the week, but I don't want to restrict him entirely.

He is quite active, plays team sports year round, works with a youth trainer at our local YMCA, rides his bike/skateboard and scooter. I'm not sure what more I can do. We are constantly battling over what he can eat. I struggle with that fine line of controlling too much/not enough. I fear we are affecting his self esteem.

One thing that reading your post reminded me of was a chart that we were using for a while in our house. It was sort of a competition between my 9 yr old and my husband and I. We allotted a certain number of points for each healthy choice throughout the day. For example: 1 point per fruit/veggie serving, 1 point for not eating a second helping, 1 point for each healthy, well-balanced meal (we defined what that meant), 2 points for 30 minutes of activity, I think we even gave points for no juice, milk (except cereal), soda (though this is only allowed once a week anyway)...basically a point if he only drank water that day. We earned a point for not eating anything after dinner (cut up veggies or 1 serving of fruit was allowed though). They were all recorded on the chart. Each week we tallied our Healthy Choice Points. The person with the highest score got $5. This was really working for all of us. Why did we stop? We got busy and started to let it slip...Shame on us! Your post made me realize I need to bring it back. I'm going to search my documents for that chart.

I am so sorry you are going through this too. I found some comfort knowing that I'm not alone though. Thank you for reminding me of the challenge we had going. I hope this is something I can again stick with. I need to do it for our entire family! Let's challenge ourselves to get healthier alongside of our children!

Child Weight Loss - Need Input!

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