Moving Goalpost - Never happy - what can I do?

m60kaf · May 2012

Over the last few years I have gone from

TO

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The problem I'm having is I never seem happy with what I have achieved. Even here talking about a 110+ lb weight loss I feel rather uninspired

I don't know if its because I somehow felt a fail because I got so big that I don't think getting better is anything to shout about.

People who know me at best get annoyed at me for the fact I am never happy or at worst think I am just fishing for compliments.

At the beginning of the year my aim was to cut a bit and lose about a stone. Well I've lost over a stone, done pretty well at weights and am aiming to try and develop some abs definition. I'm not happy the abs aren't coming along .. what about the already achieved goal!!!! - its been forgotten about like all the others.

I was moaning to my GF that weights progress is slow and she too a pic of my arms while I was whittering on -- f**k there massive --- I thought for a second, but, then Im thinking its got to be light etc etc etc

I have passed 100s of NSV that I would have been over the moon to have achieved - but they just pass by

I used to have no glutes at all now I do ... I'm not happy at there size !!???

I even feel slightly stupid posting my question because I think people are just going to think "yeah well wot achievement"

I have MFP friends who congratulate because I've lost a pound or logged on for 100days - and I think so what

... I wish I could get that enthusiastic.

Anyway, I think I have got to the point where I'm not actually finding this very funny at all anymore - maybe I do indeed have some problem. I know the line if you look in the mirror and are happy you have failed ( I guess to do with the fact you would lose motivation) but have other people who have lost a lot of weight had this problem?? What is a good way of dealing with it?

Currently I'd say I need defined abs - then I will be happy - but when I achieve that I will be unhappy at some other rubbish

super_jade · May 2012

You sound like you need to see a shrink and dont be a man and be all "Heavens no i don't need a shrink, or a map! im awesome!" Because it might not be that your unhappy with your achievements it might be another aspect of your life that your trying to fill with ab definition or bigger glutes but its not really working. See a shrink! You look amazing you should feel amazing too.

myogibbs · May 2012

I see some honest soul searching in your future. You can't make yourself happy or love yourself more with external things...even huge weight loss and looking amazing will feel hollow if you don't really love yourself for who you are....I know...I know...sounds like psycobabble, but it really is true. You are just putting a band aid on the real problem and expecting it to get better. You look amazing and I really hope that you can find what makes you happy, because you deserve it. You have worked so hard on the outside product but the inside needs work too. I know a lot of times people that were heavy have a hard time believing that they don't still look like they once did or they still see themselves in the way that makes them unhappy with themselves. You aren't that person anymore. YOU did that....celebrate yourself...what an accomplishment!!!! Good luck!!!

sweetpotatofry · May 2012

Hmm I was just reading up on some, uh, celebrity gossip re: plastic surgery today, and it was interesting that these by-most-people's-definitions already-gorgeous stars were trying to perfect themselves even further. It really is deeply mental and emotional. I wish I had some concrete answers for you but in my personal experience I've had pretty much the same issues, except coming from a much smaller degree of success. It's always looking back that I think, "Oh, I was alright then!" (aka "I look worse now"... lol.) One thing that might help is shifting the focus a little off your weight and health goals and maybe taking up a new hobby? I know it's short-term but sometimes you have to move away from thinking about your body all the time in order to see what it really looks like.

But, really, it's amazing what you've already accomplished. It might not help to hear other people applauding you when you're not applauding yourself, but it's true! Congrats on everything thus far

Moving Goalpost - Never happy - what can I do?

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