My Battle with weight story

dumb_blondes_rock · September 2009

So i have been on this site for the past few days and realized i didn't even write anything about myself....and if you have a similar story, or just a story you would want to share, I love to read them! So don't be shy to post yours.

I am 22, 5'3 3/4 ...(got to add the 3/4 in there!! lol) and 255 pounds(SW 265) and ready for a change! My mom left our family when i was only twelve, but that never meant she was there for us physically/emotionally either. She got extremely depressed with her life and left my dad, which she admits was the worst decision she ever made. She started drinking, smoking, then doing drugs....and jsut spiraled down to this person that no one even knew, not even herself. So from about the age of 8, my mom checked out. We lived with her, but she was so obsessed over herself and partying and her friends and life, that she never spent anytime paying attention to her three kids (Sis was 16, bro was 12 i was 8). So our meals were frozen burritos, pizza, anything microwavable, anything we can order or that an 8 year old can make or SWEETS. My mother also was a crash dieter.....i remember once she was on a "grapefruit juice diet" where that is literally all she ever ate or drank was grapefruit. So i never really knew how to eat properly.....anything i had was always processed or takeout. It also didn't help that the man she got with was very verbally abusive. At the age of eight he would pinch my thighs and tell me i was getting fat and i needed to lose weight and how chubby i was....among a bunch of other names he woul call us kids. Which i was NOT a chubby child....i just wasn't a stick skinny ethiopian feed the children looking child lol.
So, my Mom married someone else later on, and then had a mental breakdown when i was 12. She told me she was going for vacation for 2 weeks and never came back. So i went to live with my dad. I love my dad so much for taking this huge responsibility for being a single father to a preteen daughter, especially since i had so much emotions happening about my mom, but he was not the most health consious person. All he knew how to make was spagetti , mac n cheese, or hamburger helper. And my dad is naturally thin. He has what i call a "mcdonalds belly" becasue its like a beer belly but he doesn't drink hardly ever lol. So basically what we would do is eat out....almost every day. I would learn how to cook new meals and became a pretty good cook, but who wants to come home from school do your homework then cook dinner at age 13? lol......So basically my only nutrition i have had since the age of 8 is frozen, processed, fast food and full of grease. I had a nice body at about age 15.....so i know i have the potential.....but where i am at right now is literally teaching myself what my parents should have taught me; how to eat. I need to realize that i can't have everything i want all in one day....i can only "splurge" every now and then and BOY! is that a hard concept !!! I also have to realize that I am not one of those lucky people in life that can eat wahtever i want and stay thin, and i'm ok with that now. I also have to realize that i have to stop comparing myself to all my skinny friends. I have to do this for myself and no one else....i'm not here on earth to prove anything to anyone, i'm here to live. And i do want to live for a very long time, which i honestly can't see happening if i keep going the way that i was. I been on this new "lifestyle change" since the first and only lost 10 pounds but i feel like 35 pounds lighter. I have soo much more energy and my whole being jsut feels soooo much better.
So there is my novel, sorry for the long read, but that was so good to jsut get out! I even teared up a time or two writing it so i got my crying out for the day (i cry a lot lol). Well i can't wait to hear other stories and i hope my story somehow inspires at least one person, if not more! With motivation adn support we all can accomplish anything! And for some reason support from stangers feels so much better than support from those close to me. I dont' feel pressured to have to lose weight from the people on here, and i feel like when you tell people you are on a diet they automatically watch you and keep track on how much it looks liek you've lost, so I have only told a handful of peopel about it. (mainly the ones i eat with so they know why i can't go to pizza factory or grease spoon restaraunts anymore).....So best of luck to everyone and for those who have had great success already...keep up the great work!

Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Diet Plans

SW: 265
GW: 145

Bella151 · September 2009

I just want to say, i loved reading your post, and my heart goes out to you. I started tearing up when I was reading it, but I just think you are awesome! You have been through so much, and at such a tender age. Congratulations on your 10 lbs, that is wonderful! You have come to the best site ever, and i think you are going to do great! Please if you ever need any advice or support, feel free to drop me a message!

yankeefamily05 · September 2009

I commend you for telling your story. I teared up while reading it. I also have a very rough past. I have learned that its not what happened in the past that makes you you. Its how you handle it today!!! ....

If you ever need someone to talk to for advice or just girly talk feel free to msg me:):drinker:

Wecandothis · September 2009

Your story is important, and you should always remember it, so that now and in the future when you look back you will be grateful for the way things are now - because your future is a very bright one. You have done the right thing, and are taking the right steps, and you are on your way.

But there will come a time when there are no more tears when you remember. And that will be a great day. Bless you!

heather0mc · September 2009

wow, what a story! good for you for sharing with us :flowerforyou: you are obviously a very smart girl and have such a great attitude :drinker: your story has inspired me and i am sure it will others as well.

you got this sweet! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

havingitall · September 2009

It looks like you have overcome a lot to be a success in your life. With all that you have dealt with, losing weight should be a walk in the park for you

Congrats on the 10 lbs lost already. Don't look at it as only 10 lbs... that is a great accomplishment.

I don't know how my weight problem all started for me other than I was about 11 or 12 and started gaining. It was an excuse to not have boyfriends like all my friends did. I got married at age 27 and was about 5 lbs heavier then than I am now. I had two children two years apart. The marriage was not great and after 10 years we divorced. I dated a few people but there was nothing interesting until I met Ben on the internet. He loved the me inside and didn't worry about the packaging. We got married 5 years ago and in the last little while with all the love he has for me, I have finally been able to love myself. This is the first time I can truly say that in my life... it only took 40+ years to love myself! With this self love came the ability to make the necessary changes in my life to be healthy and fit. Our lives have changed incredibly over the last 9 months. Ben has lost 66 lbs and I have lost 75 with more going all the time.

We have plans to travel a lot and I want to be in the best shape possible to see the world.

Good luck in your continued success.

heather0mc · September 2009

i saw a quote last night that went something like this:

stop living life looking thru the rear view mirror - look at life thru the windshield.

:flowerforyou:

dumb_blondes_rock · September 2009

It looks like you have overcome a lot to be a success in your life. With all that you have dealt with, losing weight should be a walk in the park for you Congrats on the 10 lbs lost already. Don't look at it as only 10 lbs... that is a great accomplishment.

I don't know how my weight problem all started for me other than I was about 11 or 12 and started gaining. It was an excuse to not have boyfriends like all my friends did. I got married at age 27 and was about 5 lbs heavier then than I am now. I had two children two years apart. The marriage was not great and after 10 years we divorced. I dated a few people but there was nothing interesting until I met Ben on the internet. He loved the me inside and didn't worry about the packaging. We got married 5 years ago and in the last little while with all the love he has for me, I have finally been able to love myself. This is the first time I can truly say that in my life... it only took 40+ years to love myself! With this self love came the ability to make the necessary changes in my life to be healthy and fit. Our lives have changed incredibly over the last 9 months. Ben has lost 66 lbs and I have lost 75 with more going all the time.

We have plans to travel a lot and I want to be in the best shape possible to see the world.

Good luck in your continued success.

Congrats on finding true love...not many people in the world can say they have that. My life hasn't been all that easy, but to me its the only thing i know. Food to me is my addiction. In my family there are alcoholics on both sides and drug addicts, so i guess my addiction is food. I eat when i'm happy, when i'm sad, when i'm bored and i eat when others eat, even if i'm not hungry.
75 pounds is soooo great! i am so proud of you! I kinow i only lost 10 pounds, but that is gonna be 10 pounds ill never see again. Can't wait until i'm at where you are! and congrats to your man too! Where are you planning on traveling?

dumb_blondes_rock · September 2009

i saw a quote last night that went something like this:

stop living life looking thru the rear view mirror - look at life thru the windshield.

:flowerforyou:

Love that quote!

Bella151 · September 2009

i saw a quote last night that went something like this:

stop living life looking thru the rear view mirror - look at life thru the windshield.

:flowerforyou:

Wow that's a great quote, I will have to remember that one!

havingitall · September 2009

[Where are you planning on traveling?

Anywhere and everywhere! We are starting small with Vegas and a trip to the Grand Canyon next month, Mexico in the spring and working our way to Europe etc as the years go by

dumb_blondes_rock · September 2009

[Where are you planning on traveling?

Anywhere and everywhere! We are starting small with Vegas and a trip to the Grand Canyon next month, Mexico in the spring and working our way to Europe etc as the years go by

How fun i went to Vegas back in December.....all im gonna say is a drank a LOT of empty calories lol....Infact....i used to drink a lot of empty calories every weekend for the past few months lol...Mexico is fun i have heard, jsut be careful casue the crime rate is outrageous now...Ifg you get your hair braided make sure you post pics! lol

kattiek · September 2009

I commend you on your positive outlook considering what life handed you and congrats on the first 10 lbs! :drinker:

llywyn · September 2009

I so just want to send a karmic HUG to you. Your story is very similar to my own so I do know your pain.

My Tale:

I was born to a 20 year old woman that would by today's medical terms be full fledged bipolar. I will explain this later why i am so certain of her mental state. The biological father left supposedly before I was born because of gambling addictions and that he just did not want to be a father. So through relationship after relationship she tried to find someone... and I wasn't even a thought to her. She left me with her own adoptive parents who were in their 70's until they passed when I was 8 years old. Any visitation from her previously was usually mentally or physically abusive because she did not appreciate that I was being well taken care of by my grandparents, so it was her duty to "beat submission and humility" into me.

When I moved in with her at the age of 8 the abuse got worse, and was also assisted by her then stepchildren from her 5th marriage(1 boy and 3 girls- all that were models). She also by then had another child of her own... my half- brother who was the apple of her eye and could do no wrong.

I should also mention that not only did I already have weight issues by this point from comfort eating, but I was now the only white child in a house full of hispanics. I did not speak spanish at all, but I learned quickly what the hateful things being said about me were. I thought words like "petufa" were just nicknames... not that I was being called a chubby smurf.

Fast forward to age 12. Mother is diagnosed with MS and is in a wheelchair. By then all the step-siblings have moved out but one who is in highschool and sneaks out frequently to be with guys and drink. Half brother is still 3 years younger than me, so raising him, paying all the bills and all household chores falls to none other than me. He is already playing football, so he can't be disturbed to do anything to help out, and the last sibling was equally useless. While being sole caretaker for the mother I was also still in Jr. High. The following year one of the step sister's moves back home after a divorce and brings her infant son with her, which I also was tasked to raise for the year they were there... being in school, 13yrs old and being awoken to a punch in the face and screams of "the baby is hungry, go make a bottle!" from his own mother does wonders to prevent teen pregnancy I assure you.

So this continues until about 15 and the mother suddenly gets better. Stopped trying to kill herself with razors, no more wheelchair... nothing. She promptly decides that she wants to be a truckdriver and go on the road with her husband... leaving me to raise my half-brother and still get us both back and forth to school, as well as pay all the bills for the house, buy groceries, etc.

So you may ask yourself why wasnt child services contacted? They were, however we were in a small town and it just so happened that she "the mother" was intimate with most of the staff... so the complaints were quickly dismissed.

I managed to maintain a straight A average through everything and graduated high school with honors, and was accepted to college. With no scholarships unfortunately. I still managed to get away by taking out LOTSA loans... but it was only enough for 1 year... after my freshman year it was back home once again. I met my ex- husband in Nov. 1997 and moved in with him 2 weeks after we met.

Admittedly when I look at it, I went from one bad situation to worse. The ex had issues of his own with alchohol and having never had a real job money was lacking to say the least. We went for months with no electricity during the summers, and hamburger helper was our only meals. I developed major PSTD, IBS, started showing signs of type 2 diabetis... the list goes on. When I graduated high school I was 198 lbs, and my top weight during the marriage was roughly 240 on a 5'5" frame.

I left my husband in 2004 to move to my current location, finally on my own for the first time. I got my first apartment in 05' and met my current SO (in the photos) then. We have been together for now 4 years.

I am now 31 years old and current weight of 215. So in short all I can say is that as a fellow survivor, all things are possible when you learn to start believing in yourself.

MOMOFTWO29 · September 2009

Wow, thanks for sharing :flowerforyou:

dumb_blondes_rock · September 2009

llywyn-
I'm so sorry you've had such a rough past. I thankfully have had a stable houshold to live in since i was 12, but my mother is also bipolar. She literally was in bed for 2 years when i was about 5....i'm not one of those people to hold a grudge, and me and my mother talk often now, and i see her ever couple of months......but i can totally understand if you didn't feel the same about your mother. I believe that a positive life brings positive results, and i am positive about everything except for my eating, so that is one thing i need to get in check, and hopefully good things will come from it! Good luck with your journey & congrats on finding your love!

My Battle with weight story

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