Update on middle school lunch detention and the bully

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/584147-moms-of-middle-school-high-school-kids-am-i-over-reacting this was the original thread

Sorry my update turned into a small book

I went to the school and talked with the teacher. He is a really young guy and this is his first year teaching. He got really pissed off really quick and was kind of rude but he insisted that the other kid did not call my son a name and told me that he had already moved them to opposite sides of the room because they were having problems a few days prior. He insisted that the "witness' stated that the other kid was minding his own business and my son just came up and called him an idiot. I looked at the teacher and I said, Ok I am going to assume that your about 25 years old or so, so it's not been to terribly long since you were out of school and you are also old enough to know how teenagers will defend their friends no matter what. (that made him turn beet red and I swear steam was coming out of his ears) I then asked where the "witness" was when all this took place and was told 2 rows over and 5 seats down. (oh let me add that this took place by my sons desk, not the other side of the room where the other kid was supposed to be) After learning that, I said well I know boys well enough to know that the "witness" didn't hear anything and if you ask him right now what took place he won't have any answers for you, so you maybe you are just not willing to punish the coaches son. At this point the teacher became furious, told me I was being rude and combative and said he was done talking, the punishment would stand . Now, I know my son is not an angel but he then proceeded to tell me that my son had picked on this kid all year, turned and walked away.

These boys have gone to school together for 7 years now, and I know for a FACT that the other kid has had detention and in school suspension on several occasions for picking on other kids. My son on the other hand has had detention 3 times now in 7 years (all from this teacher) and never been in any other trouble and has gotten outstanding citizenship awards every semester. Hmmm seems a little strange but ok, he's the one there with them every day, so I can't argue, I don't know what goes on in his classroom.

I stayed and talked to the counselor, who knows my son, he was her student aide last year. She was shocked to hear that my son was the instigator and that the other child did nothing. When I told her what was going on her response was "I know your son, he is an awesome kid, we got to know each other very well last year and I talk to him almost daily here, he always has a smile on his face, never has anything bad to say and helps at lunch with the special needs kids. I know the other boy too, he's been sent to my office many times" She told me she would question the other kids and get back to me and that if I wanted to leave my son some money for his field trip, it would probably be a good idea (meaning she was going to make sure he went)

She called me back later, 5 other witnesses who sat in the seats around my son said that the other kid did come over to his desk and call him a *kitten* and "pushed him into his seat" (my son didn't tell me that part) , they said my son stood back up, got in his face and said "you're an idiot" and walked out of the classroom. My sons detention stands for calling the kid an idiot and leaving the classroom but the other kid got 3 days of ISS (in school suspension). I'm pissed that this kid pushed him and he didn't tell me, and I am pissed that kids get away with doing stuff like this all the time! My son is a good kid but because he is good, happy and helpful, the other kids treat him like he is a wimp and he doesn't want to get in trouble for fighting back but he has to be able to defend himself because teachers like this are showing that they won't.