heading to the gym... first time in months

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Last year I paid $10,000 dollars to have an expiremental weightloss surgery - the gastric plication. I easily lost 40 pounds... the next 10 pounds were a struggle. I started eating more and stopping at fast food drive thru's.
By late summer my mom was getting sicker and was admitted to the hospice where I work as a nurse. She died 8 days later and it was my ticket to eat. By Christmas I had gained all the weight back and my body hurt all over. I was so embarrassed. I was the fat girl who failed weightloss surgery.
I say girl and I just turned 48 this April. I guess in so many ways I feel no different than when I was 18-20 except for my weight. I still see myself as a young strong athlete. ... my body doesn't feel that way the morning after I work out. I feel old in my body most of the days now. I hurt so much I fear old age. I care for patients and most of the time I am working to get their pain under control. I see an awful future for me if I don't make changes now.
I am getting ready to go to the gym and swim soome laps. I went to see my chiropractor today and feel better. I had back surgery back on Christmas eve in 2009 and I need to lose weight for my back and legs.
Thanks for letting me vent. I hope that a year from now I will have lost my 100+ pounds and have learned to eat right and to exercises like I should. One thing that surgery taught me - there is no quick fixes. I did not put this weight on overnight, nor will I take it off overnight.
Deb

Replies

  • stephenatl09
    stephenatl09 Posts: 186 Member
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    Good for you ! That 1st step is tough. Girl, you are only as old as you feel. I am 54 years old and bought a pair of 30" waist jeans on Friday. You got this, just take it one step at a time. Oh and the jeans were purple :-) most will say not really age appropriate probably..whatever that means and who cares !! Not me !!
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
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    good for you! keep at it, you can do this!
  • rfarinha
    rfarinha Posts: 388 Member
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    Hi Deb~
    Congratulations on taking that first step! When I started MFP, back in August of 2011, I decided that I would log everything that I ate... the good, the bad, and the ugly! I also found that as I became aware of what I was eating, and the nutritional value of those items, that I started making different choices, reducing my portions, and making positive changes. I introduced excercise, and now it's been 9 month, and I am almost at 74 lbs! I was a size 22/24, and I am currently wearing a size 12/14! I feel so much better, and it really has passed by quickly!

    I always say, the future seems so far away, but the past feels like yesterday... and that is so true in this case as well.... I can remember August 1, 2011, like it was yesterday, but on that day, looking forward to May 1, 2012, it seemed so far off into the future! Now it's already here!

    Good luck to you, and remember that logging and maintaining your food diary is the single most important thing you can do! It makes you aware, so that you make better choices. :wink:
  • Gardengail
    Gardengail Posts: 596 Member
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    Good for you -- just keep moving! The food and exercise logs really help keep you on track. I started using them earlier this year and it has made a big difference.
  • Gardengail
    Gardengail Posts: 596 Member
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    So, Deb - how did the gym go? I've been wondering about you / it.
  • jodyl70
    jodyl70 Posts: 94
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    One step at a time - the first one was joining this site! :happy:

    Remember, you did not get heavy in a day, so you cannot lose it all in a day!

    Go girl!
  • debbieHOC
    debbieHOC Posts: 56 Member
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    I spent time in the hot tub, then walked laps in the pool for 20 minutes. I ended up at the chiropractor the next day and I feel so much better. Have been taking some walks during the day. I am back at work for six 12 hr shifts before I am off again. I will then have 8 days off and I hpe to get back in th swing of exercising and woorking in the yard.
  • Gardengail
    Gardengail Posts: 596 Member
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    Thanks for the update. And thanks, too, for being a hospice nurse. Hospice was so good to my family years ago when my mom was ill. I ended up being a volunteer for a time as a result and did respite care for family members. Such a valuable service and wonderful, loving care.
  • debbieHOC
    debbieHOC Posts: 56 Member
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    Thanks Gail ... I love my job! Hospice is where I am suppose to be. It can be stressful but then again life is stressful. We need to learn to manage our life we get. Hoping that the weather in Tennessee is nice next week when I get to my off stretch on Wednesday.
  • debbieHOC
    debbieHOC Posts: 56 Member
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    Congrats on the great job Stephen.

    :drinker:
  • MommKatt
    MommKatt Posts: 5 Member
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    Hi ya'all, I am new to MFP and am enjoying it. I am glad you had a good workout in the pool. My co-worker and I are doing water aerobics at our local Y. This has helped me with my flexibility and strength. I hope to work up to being able to do the work outs in the gym and not wreck my knees and shoulders. You might want to try the water aerobics cause I am having a lot of fun with it. I am also in TN (north east TN), so Howdy neighbor. Grats to everyone for keeping on keeping on!