Maybe it is wrong, but I'm resorting to trickery....

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  • emmabrackpool
    emmabrackpool Posts: 61 Member
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    After reading your post I'm really wondering why you are still with this guy? You deserve to be with someone who respects its clear from your post that he doesn't. Sorry to be so blunt but get rid he sounds like a right jerk!
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
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    I think he is very insecure and worried about you losing weight.

    I would just tell him that he is welcome but not his food - if he wants to bring one bar for himself that's fine but if he leaves any more you will bin them ( add washing up liquid to them so you wont be tempted to eat them).

    Try making smaller portion sizes or when you serve it up hide the rest. If he is hungry he can eat at home - I know it sounds mean but by the sounds of it you have tried to be reasonable and you have to get tough.

    If you are buying you own groceries tell him to shut up - its your money and you can spend it how you like.

    Good luck
  • echoica
    echoica Posts: 339 Member
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    Probably not what you want to read, but here it is.

    He's trying to control you and doing a damn good job of it. Stop giving in. So he whines and complains. Let him. He's a big boy and can make his own food if yours has too much "yucky stuff" in it. When it keeps up, and it wiil, you're going to have to decide what's more important to you - him or you.

    This...nicely said
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
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    I have a smaller scale similar story. Cooking for men results in a lot of lighter swaps that never ever get mentioned. It is funny how little they notice, and you save yourself having to sit through a lot of whining.

    I know it can be hard, and some days you will fail, but this guy is like this. Odds are he won't change. If he brings crap to your place, kindly let him know to take it with him. If he doesn't, immediately open the package and toss it into compost. Toss coffee grounds or any other kitchen scrap or nasty stuff (kitty litter, diaper, etc) right on top of the junk food. Problem solved!
  • halcionne
    halcionne Posts: 10 Member
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    I agree 100%. You have been so brave and strong to make these changes (kudos especially for honestly logging your slip-ups!) I think the analogy of bringing alcohol around a newly sober person is a good one. Your boyfriend may feel threatened, not ready to make these changes himself, or whatever, but those are his issues, not yours. You need to take care of yourself first, and then, maybe, you can support and encourage any changes he decides to make. Do you have an Overeaters Anonymous meeting near you? I don't have any experience with them, but I do have with other 12-step groups. The dysfunction in your relationship feels pretty familiar to me. Please don't take anything I've said in a negative way. It is so hard sometimes for women to put themselves first, and you really are the most important person here!
  • ZeroTX
    ZeroTX Posts: 179 Member
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    Simple, get a new boyfriend.Show him the door.

    X2
  • jlsAhava
    jlsAhava Posts: 411 Member
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    I know it can be hard, and some days you will fail, but this guy is like this. Odds are he won't change. If he brings crap to your place, kindly let him know to take it with him. If he doesn't, immediately open the package and toss it into compost. Toss coffee grounds or any other kitchen scrap or nasty stuff (kitty litter, diaper, etc) right on top of the junk food. Problem solved!

    This is a great idea for the time being, but what happens when you two get more serious and you move in together? Then you won't be able to simply throw out those things you don't want in the house. Also, since you look young, I assume that you will want children one day (I apologize if this isn't the case)... Will he be the person you want as the example for your children? It will be difficult raising healthy children with such an unhealthy (and unsupportive) role model.

    Basically, I think you need to give some serious thought about whether he's the guy you want/need to share your future with.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
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    He's being a tosser.

    You need to give him notice that his behaviour is not acceptable and make sure he knows that if it continues he'll be shown the door.

    Nobody needs this sort of manipulative nonsense.

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