Is my Mum trying to sabotage my weight loss???
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I know the last time I visited my parents they were making alot of meat and potato dishes. My parents love steak and potatoes with all of the fixings (butter, sour cream). I would have a large salad and very little of the potato and some of the steak. My dad got angry that I was not eating enough. I told him I was getting enough. He kept saying I was eating just rabbit food however I stood my ground after all it is my body not his. That is why both my parents are not in the best health and I am trying to circumvent the many health issues they have. Don't get me wrong I love my parents but I still have to get fit and healthy for myself and my family. I have a ways to go but I am getting there. Just remember it is your body not theirs and we do not have to follow in our parents footsteps if we do not want to. Keep up your hard work. I know it is not easy but you can do it.0
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I refuse to believe a 24 year old woman can't make her own meals. If time is an issue, prepare them all at once and refrigerate/freeze them so you have them ready throughout the week. Having read this thread, it's just once excuse after the other. If you don't want to eat the food your mum makes, then you have to make the food yourself.0
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I wish I could! I couldn't even afford to do that. I will have to get a higher paid job before I can even think about moving out.
I'm from the Midlands (UK)
I lived in East Midlands (Nottingham) and there's a lot of reasonable shares available. But I am guessing you're in Birmingham or York and ya those do get pricey. But you COULD make it work.
Just a thought. Obviously not the solution to the problem right now
Yeah it can be done, not until I have paid some debt first though. I'm lucky if I have £200 left a month! Oh well good things come to those who wait!0 -
Yeah it can be done, not until I have paid some debt first though. I'm lucky if I have £200 left a month! Oh well good things come to those who wait!
Student debt sucks! Hopefully it will pay itself off in dividends over the years and be worth the sacrifice now. Good luck with everything!!0 -
Just because you want to change your ways, doesnt mean mom wants to. Unfortunatly.
She probably isnt doing it on purpose, it may be all she knows. She may get alot of love when she presents goodies and treats.
You just need to take more control of it. It is ultimatly your responsibility what goes into your mouth. So Stand firm. so what if she calls you fussy. Just keep repeating over and over you want to eat differently. She'll get used to it.0 -
When people either intentionally or unintentionally push food that you have already stated you would rather not have and you have no choice in selections such as a guest at a dinner party, when asked didn't you like it? Or you must try such and such I made it just for you, the easiest way to put an end to it is just to say, no thank you I can't eat another bite, I am full. It shuts a person right up, I do it all the time.0
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I wish I could! I couldn't even afford to do that. I will have to get a higher paid job before I can even think about moving out.
I'm from the Midlands (UK)
I lived in East Midlands (Nottingham) and there's a lot of reasonable shares available. But I am guessing you're in Birmingham or York and ya those do get pricey. But you COULD make it work.
Just a thought. Obviously not the solution to the problem right now
Yeah it can be done, not until I have paid some debt first though. I'm lucky if I have £200 left a month! Oh well good things come to those who wait!
I'm currently at Uni, with a budget of just under £200 a month.
£50 a week.
£20 healthy food, £20 social life, £10 savings/misc
You at least live at home, so you have more ingredients you can use to make your own food than I do, and I manage perfectly well.
You just need to manage your spending money better.
Just because you live at home doesn't mean you have to eat the same - while I was on my gap year I lived at home, and I bought and cooked all my own food. When I go back for holidays I'm a little lazier, just because it's a novelty to have someone cook for me again, but on the most part I ignore their frequent take aways and decadent food.
My little brother has 3 tubs of ben and jerrys in the freezer at any one time, we have a huge box full to bursting with cadburys and rowntrees and many many other sweets, we have a massive biscuit tin, and *three* drawers full of crisps, as well as a fridge full to bursting with lots of yummy convenience food.I also live in the capital with about 20 delicious take aways near my house, that my parents all too often order from.
I managed to lose 26lb, about 17-20 of which were lost at home, even with my parents trying to force me to eat their stuff.
Basically, man up, cook your own stuff, tell yer mum to get tae.0 -
I wish I could! I couldn't even afford to do that. I will have to get a higher paid job before I can even think about moving out.
I'm from the Midlands (UK)
I lived in East Midlands (Nottingham) and there's a lot of reasonable shares available. But I am guessing you're in Birmingham or York and ya those do get pricey. But you COULD make it work.
Just a thought. Obviously not the solution to the problem right now
Yeah it can be done, not until I have paid some debt first though. I'm lucky if I have £200 left a month! Oh well good things come to those who wait!
I feel you..I left the East Midlands and moved to London looking for work. My money is tight too. My suggestions:
Sainsbury's has a 3 for £10 for Just Cook Chicken Breasts and other varieties of roasts, pick the lean ones. each one serves 3, so that's 9 main courses for £10
Tesco has an Everyday value range, I get a packet of string beans for 79p, 6 oranges for 50p, 6 apples for 70p,bananas are £1, waters are 17p, add some brown rice for fiber
I eat Greek yogurt everyday for breakfast a £2.70 container lasts all week. I add honey and granola and banana0 -
I wish I could! I couldn't even afford to do that. I will have to get a higher paid job before I can even think about moving out.
I'm from the Midlands (UK)
I lived in East Midlands (Nottingham) and there's a lot of reasonable shares available. But I am guessing you're in Birmingham or York and ya those do get pricey. But you COULD make it work.
Just a thought. Obviously not the solution to the problem right now
Yeah it can be done, not until I have paid some debt first though. I'm lucky if I have £200 left a month! Oh well good things come to those who wait!
I'm currently at Uni, with a budget of just under £200 a month.
£50 a week.
£20 healthy food, £20 social life, £10 savings/misc
You at least live at home, so you have more ingredients you can use to make your own food than I do, and I manage perfectly well.
You just need to manage your spending money better.
Just because you live at home doesn't mean you have to eat the same - while I was on my gap year I lived at home, and I bought and cooked all my own food. When I go back for holidays I'm a little lazier, just because it's a novelty to have someone cook for me again, but on the most part I ignore their frequent take aways and decadent food.
My little brother has 3 tubs of ben and jerrys in the freezer at any one time, we have a huge box full to bursting with cadburys and rowntrees and many many other sweets, we have a massive biscuit tin, and *three* drawers full of crisps, as well as a fridge full to bursting with lots of yummy convenience food.I also live in the capital with about 20 delicious take aways near my house, that my parents all too often order from.
I managed to lose 26lb, about 17-20 of which were lost at home, even with my parents trying to force me to eat their stuff.
Basically, man up, cook your own stuff, tell yer mum to get tae.
Wow £50 a week is a tight budget! Hats off to you for living off that. I do actually pay rent at home, plus personal loan repayments, phone bill, contact lenses, driving lessons and a hefty amount on public transport to get to work. I know it won't be forever though, I just need to persevere with finding something else. I do help out with the cooking on weekends so I can alter the recipes somewhat :P
I like the idea of cooking some stuff myself and freezing them. I do that for my lunches sometimes so maybe I could make bigger batches.
Thanks for the advice people, really appreciate it
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I wish I could! I couldn't even afford to do that. I will have to get a higher paid job before I can even think about moving out.
I'm from the Midlands (UK)
To be blunt again...
I live at home with my mom. I went back to school when I lost my job (like so many other people). I don't even have income besides my loans, which I try to minimize. My mom doesn't eat as healthy as I do and still gets her treats in the house. I buy a handful of groceries with my own, minimal, money and then buy the shared groceries with the money I get from her. The shared groceries include what SHE wants, staples, and what we use on dinners.
I make it work. I do most (if not all) of the cooking. Hard to complain when someone else is making your food and doing the hard work. If I can do it, you can do it. If you WANT to do it, you can find a way.0 -
Help you mom, cook with her and then clean dishes and kitchen
Ask her to let you cook some meal.
You know what she likes to eat, find a healhty version recipe and cook together.
My mom thinks food as reward so when she likes you , she will give your junk food.
Your mom probably was raised the same way.0 -
It's funny, my mom was always the same way. My grandmother especially. She sits there and tells me I need to lose weight because I am unhealthy, then proceeds to shove a cookie down my throat. I just tell them that if they want me to be healthy, then to leave me the heck alone. That says a lot because my family is very IN YOUR BUSINESS about everything, even down to what color socks you have on. I totally sympathize. The only thing you can do at this point is bid your time and try to get the healthy stuff in when possible if she doesn't let you cook or eat on your own.0
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WARNING!! This isn't going to be very nice. I'm not trying to offend.
My thoughts.
1. I think you're right. I think you Mum is sabotaging your progress. This is not uncommon for those closest to us to throw road blocks in our way. They think they're doing something nice.
2. You're an adult. You can make your own food choices and prepare your own meals. Yes cooking sucks. Personally, I hate it. It may be uncomfortable at first, eating differently then the rest of the family. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. You have the choice to eat what is given to you. You're Mum isn't forcing that stuff down your throat. You have some responsibility in to too.
Well said and I'm not trying to be ugly either.
3. Take control of this. Sit down with your Mum and talk to her about this. Pick a time when she's not busy. Use a lot of feeling words. Be respectful of her views. DON'T ACCUSE HER!! "Mum I've been working really hard at getting healthier, this is something that is very important to me.
And I need your support." Something like that.
Again I'm sorry if this was rude. I in no way meant to be mean or hurtful. This is just my opinion.0 -
I hope that your mother isn't intentionally sabatoging you, but even if it's unconcsious, it's making it hard on you. You're old enough to make your own meals. Even if you can't move out. Try 1. Offering to help your mum out by cooking dinner a couple times a week. 2 If that doesn't work, just tell your family that you love them, but you're trying to diet and will cook your own meals so as to not "force the gross, plain food on them"0
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I primarily live at school so this is not an issue for me. Before i go home my mom always asks me what food she should get. i just tell her not to get me anything because im sticking to healthy food. Just tell her ! its not that hard. Then again I may be spoiled because the difference between what i eat and what my family eats is minimal. They eat whole wheat pasta with grilled chicken and tomato sauce, and I eat the chicken and tomato sauce. They add honey and maple syrup to their oatmeal, tea etc. and i dont.0
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Alrighty...I'm 25 years old...I finally got sick and tired of eating crap. I still live with my parents as well. When I finally got sick of it, I went grocery shopping for myself. I buy my own food now. So, I eat what I want because I bought it. Granted, my mother is like oh you can a few of these aka cookies and I'm like "uh no mom, 3 cookies are 240 calories..." I don't necessary care what they try to get me to eat. I know how many calories are in it and if I don't, I'll look it up. You just need to tell her you are watching what you are eating. My mother has been very supportive of me losing weight so that's a plus for me. I've changed up my lifestyle and she recognized that and tries to do the same.0
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WARNING!! This isn't going to be very nice. I'm not trying to offend.
My thoughts.
1. I think you're right. I think you Mum is sabotaging your progress. This is not uncommon for those closest to us to throw road blocks in our way. They think they're doing something nice.
2. You're an adult. You can make your own food choices and prepare your own meals. Yes cooking sucks. Personally, I hate it. It may be uncomfortable at first, eating differently then the rest of the family. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. You have the choice to eat what is given to you. You're Mum isn't forcing that stuff down your throat. You have some responsibility in to too.
Well said and I'm not trying to be ugly either.
3. Take control of this. Sit down with your Mum and talk to her about this. Pick a time when she's not busy. Use a lot of feeling words. Be respectful of her views. DON'T ACCUSE HER!! "Mum I've been working really hard at getting healthier, this is something that is very important to me.
And I need your support." Something like that.
Again I'm sorry if this was rude. I in no way meant to be mean or hurtful. This is just my opinion.
I totally agree. I don't think it was "ugly" either. You definately have to talk to your mum0 -
I've moved back in with my parents for a year and I pay $150 per week in board. This money goes towards the food I want.
Are you able to use your board money in the same way? 0 -
I'm 20 years old, work a crap job, spend 4 hours commuting a day and still manage to make all of my own meals, do my own food shopping and go to the gym.
There is no reason why you can't do it to. I spend no more than £20 on food a week - just go for the cheap 'savers' options. 0 -
my mum used to be like that..sometimes I think she's jealous because now I'm skinnier than her. Last weekend she told me I don't have a nice figure any more and that I lost all the curves. however I don't let her get to me because I don't want to be fat again.0
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Wow, alot of people with good solid advice.
I feel sorry for you to have to go through this at 24 years of age. You can understand a mother telling her child, but not a 24 year old adult. Your mother (dont take offence) sounds like a bit of a food bully and control freak. The problem sounds like it lyes with your mum. If she is looking at your figure out of the corner of her eye and you think shes jealous then that is a feeling in her you are not going to change because it is a deep rooted problem. Maybe she is threatened by your looks and youth. Remember you are a fresher version of her coming up quick on her heels and she probably doesn't like it that much and finds it hard to keep up with. You need to be a strong young woman and stand up for yourself. She has her own views on food, as do you and everyone else, but at 24 you should be making your own choices?
Are you afraid of offending her? She dosen't seem to take your opinions about food into consideration and that's not right. She also probably sees that as long as your under her roof, you do what she says, and that's that. You have 3 choices here. Either, shut up and take it (sorry to be blunt)or, tell her to back off and leave you alone (nicely of course), or get out of there! Flat share or something. Yes its hard (emotionally, fiancially and economically) but you have to get your butt out there sometime. This cud be the nudge you need.
Either way, you've great advice on any one of these post. Good luck!!0
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