I need alot of help and support!

Shanel_Troia · April 2008

For awhile I had been doing good. I lost 10 pounds in Feb. Then in March my Grandmother passed away. It has been very hard for me to deal with. At the end of March I lost 6 pounds. I know that is still alot but my goal is to lose about 8 to 10 pounds a month. I have or had 200 pounds to lose. I am off to a good start, but since my Grandmother passed away, I am not doing good. I am not eating everything in the house but I am not eating the way I should. So far this month I am down 6 pounds but I am still depressed and I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks. There are days when I just don't feel like getting out of bed or doing anything. While I was out driving today, I had the strangest thing pop in my head. A few people and close friends had asked my husband if everything were alright with me. Everyone can sees the weight loss and the praise me for it but they also see that there is something wrong with me. Well while I was driving I had this come into my head. While I was 30 pounds heavier I has happy to a point. Now that I am down 30 pounds I am not happy. I know that I am having problems dealing with the loss of my Grandmother. I don't want to blame everything on the fact that she passed away. I don't want to use that as an excuse to not do what I know I need to do for my self, my husband, my children, family, and friends. I cannot fully tell you how I am feeling. To put it better, I feel like I've lost myself and I am not sure how to get it back. Has anyone ever heard the song Holy Water by Big and Rich...well that song says it all. I find myself depressed all the time, just sitting around staring off into space and not even thing of anything. Maybe its because this year is going to be a big year for me. Next month I will be having my 30th birthday party, in August my son will be 10 years old, and my daughter will be going to pre K and will be 5 years old in December. I trying to be productive but it doesn't seem to bring me up. For the last 3 weekends we have been going to our local flea market walking around and buying plants to make our home look better. It looks nice outside and when you pull into the drive it looks great, but you don't notice if you never leave the house. I guess I have ranted enough. I think I will take my daughter and go for a walk. I could use the fresh air. I hope everyone is doing well in their goals. Thanks in advance for all the support!

Shanel_Troia · April 2008

For awhile I had been doing good. I lost 10 pounds in Feb. Then in March my Grandmother passed away. It has been very hard for me to deal with. At the end of March I lost 6 pounds. I know that is still alot but my goal is to lose about 8 to 10 pounds a month. I have or had 200 pounds to lose. I am off to a good start, but since my Grandmother passed away, I am not doing good. I am not eating everything in the house but I am not eating the way I should. So far this month I am down 6 pounds but I am still depressed and I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks. There are days when I just don't feel like getting out of bed or doing anything. While I was out driving today, I had the strangest thing pop in my head. A few people and close friends had asked my husband if everything were alright with me. Everyone can sees the weight loss and the praise me for it but they also see that there is something wrong with me. Well while I was driving I had this come into my head. While I was 30 pounds heavier I has happy to a point. Now that I am down 30 pounds I am not happy. I know that I am having problems dealing with the loss of my Grandmother. I don't want to blame everything on the fact that she passed away. I don't want to use that as an excuse to not do what I know I need to do for my self, my husband, my children, family, and friends. I cannot fully tell you how I am feeling. To put it better, I feel like I've lost myself and I am not sure how to get it back. Has anyone ever heard the song Holy Water by Big and Rich...well that song says it all. I find myself depressed all the time, just sitting around staring off into space and not even thing of anything. Maybe its because this year is going to be a big year for me. Next month I will be having my 30th birthday party, in August my son will be 10 years old, and my daughter will be going to pre K and will be 5 years old in December. I trying to be productive but it doesn't seem to bring me up. For the last 3 weekends we have been going to our local flea market walking around and buying plants to make our home look better. It looks nice outside and when you pull into the drive it looks great, but you don't notice if you never leave the house. I guess I have ranted enough. I think I will take my daughter and go for a walk. I could use the fresh air. I hope everyone is doing well in their goals. Thanks in advance for all the support!

LokiFae · April 2008

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's very hard to lose someone you're close to and care about. I really hope that your pain will become easier for you to handle in the months to come. I know it will never go away, but maybe it will be easier for you to remember her without feeling pain, and just remembering the good times you had with her.

Do the best you can. Eat the best you can and get out when you can. Allow yourself a few days every month to dip into foods not in your plan, but also try to keep your goal in mind.

All we can ever do is our best, and that's all anyone can expect. Maybe a mild antidepressant would help. I would talk to your GP. I know that when I've gone through loss, I have occasionally had to turn to antidepressants. Sometimes that's the only thing that helps me.

Feel better, hon. We're all here for you. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Julie1984 · April 2008

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. It's natural to feel depressed for a while after a loved one passes on- that doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you. It sounds like you're doing well with your weight loss, 6lbs a month is nothing to be ashamed of. Losing 2lbs a week is at the upper end of what is considered healthy, actually. Maybe the 8-10 a month that you are hoping for just isn't realistic for you. Hope you feel better soon:flowerforyou:

lotusfromthemud · April 2008

For me, I used to use food as an emotional anesthetic. I didn't feel my feelings, I ate them. It sounds a little bit like what you are describing when you say you were "happy" when you weighed more and weren't restricting your food. It is hard to feel emotions, especially the terrible sadness you must have at your loss. I am so sorry for that. Recognize that changing your relationship with food is a sort of divorce, at least it was for me. It always offered me some fleeting pain relief, and I have days that I still miss it (and this is at my goal weight after 3 years of a lifestyle change).

Be patient with yourself, and allow yourself to feel this sadness. It may sound weird, but set aside some time in your day to grieve. As well as being patient with yourself, you must give yourself some tough love as well. Get your butt to the gym. I promise you, some of those negative feelings will sweat themselves out of you, some endorphins will be released, and you will feel a bit better. I'm not saying the gym will solve all of the world's (or your) problems, because it won't. But, even moderate activity has been clinically proven to improve depression symptoms. When I was going through a grieving process, I found a park nearby that didn't get too crowded and had walking trails. I went on long walks, and believe me, I did a little crying on those trails.

If you have the means, you might want to talk to a professional about this. Either a psychologist, or a clergy person who might offer you some comfort.

My heart goes out to you at this difficult time. :flowerforyou:

Shannon023 · April 2008

Hi Shanel,

First of all, have you had yourself tested to see if you might be suffering from clinical depression??

I noticed you equate the weight loss to the feelings of unhappiness. Does the extra weight give you a feeling of security maybe??

There are times when I have to force myself to exercise, but I never regret it once I've done it. It may not be easy, but try to do something healthy for yourself every day & see if that doesn't lift your spirits a bit.

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

michelleinshape · April 2008

I have 2 bits of advice coming from someone who has spent a good portion of my life depressed. Firstly never underestimate the power of Exercise to decrease the feelings of depression and to increase the sense of accomplishment I have read that it has something to do with increasing endorphins and stimulate the serotonin production.

Secondly, having your baby go to school is a traumatic time all in its self. Turn the occasion into an opportunity. If you are a stay at home mom, you can now look forward to more opportunities to volunteer or better yet get a part time job. The best part about working is that you are surrounded with other people who are, or who have been in the same mental place as you at some point in their life and you realize you are normal and there is a light at the end of every tunnel.

Hang in there and know that every day and every season has a purpose and a reason. Try to see the good and the lesson in each one. You are of value and self worth in every one of them.

kittybellenir · April 2008

I am sorry to hear of your loss, However, what your going through is 100% understandable. KUDOS to you for recognizing it was a nice day out and taking your daughter for a walk, That's a start! If I can recommend anything, You should definetly go to the doctor and ask him about lexapro. I have had the experience of watching someone I love dearly deal with depression and let me you tell you as hard as it is for you to go through it, it is even harder on the ones who love you to watch it and know that there is nothing they can do. The person that I loved dearly was prescribed lexapro and within a matter of days they were feeling better. It only took about three weeks before they were back to normal and he's been fine ever since this was over three years ago. Sometimes your body needs a jumpstart, and that's ok:flowerforyou:

I need alot of help and support!

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