Paranoid that i'll never lose the baby weight?

Excercise is a great way to relieve stress.

Honestly, it sounds like you're mentally having a bit of a panic attack about the extra pounds that you still have leftover, and that's a carryover from whatever else you have going on in your life. Working out to feel better is a great feeling when you're stressed; working out simply because you can't stand the extra pounds is only going to compound your stress, and make you even more stressed overall.

I lost all my baby weight, but it happened over months. Literally, I didn't get back to my prepregnancy weight until my daughter was around 10 months old, and that was with training for a half marathon, doing resistance bands, and eating cleaner. But it took me 10 months of running regularly, eating better, and cross-training to drop about 25lbs. I don't know how long you've been trying, but that all took me nearly a year to do, and I wasn't starving.

Perhaps changing your focus so that you just feel better, and don't look at the numbers will help, because you honestly sound like putting even more pressure on yourself will just be a huge detriment mentally, even if you do manage to lose any weight.

I thought I'd never lose the baby weight either. And as years went by, I didn't. And now, my son is 5 1/2 and I'm no longer allowed to call it baby weight, but now it's become "I became a lazy *kitten*" weight. And I thought I'd tried everything. I also thought "Well, I've got PCOS and thyroid issues, I'll always be fat."

Not. So. Take that anxiety, and let it motivate you. I know that when I'm the most stressed, I used to reach for the fast food and beer, now, I put on my running shoes and run the stress off. It's like free therapy! I know it sounds overwhelming, but get in touch with yourself. Get to the root of your anxiety and heal yourself from the inside out. Once I figured out how to do that (I did go to counseling, and even my therapist suggested exercise as a form of stress release), I was able to love myself enough to really get it together. And today I'm 20 lbs lighter (I've still got about 20-30 to go) and do not have to take ANY medication (besides birth control) for my PCOS AND my thyroid is now under control. All with diet and exercise changes. And as somebody who's suffered from clinical anxiety, I can safely say I haven't had a panic attack in almost a year, and I haven't had to take any anxiety medication in even longer.

It can be done. MFP has really helped me on the diet/exercise side of everything, and for me, running as therapy has done WONDERS for me. Find something active you like to do, be mindful of what you're fueling your body with, and you'll see results

I feel for you. And I remember that feeling. I always just gave myself a year to lose the weight, relax and enjoy my babies. My daugher who is 33 has had two children in 3 years. After her last child was born in april 2011, she had 40 lbs to lose so she started going to a Zumba Class. It has taken her a year of watching her food and exercise, but last week at her class two women came up to her and said she looked amazing. So devise a plan and stick to and concentrate on the plan with a lot of exercise and a sensible calorie count. This site should have plenty of diets, WW is great plan and Dr. Oz has sensible diet plans that come out every year in Good Housekeeping magazine, April Issue, that you can probably find at the library in the magazine section and just Xerox a copy for yourself. Good luck and remember you cannot fail if you don't stop trying and you are trying. You will get there.
One thing I have learned this past year while dieting, or trying to lose weight, haha, is to cut out sugar to about 15-25 grams per day. Try it for a week and see what happens. It is amazing what now sugar can do for you. You get a headache the first few days but drink lots of water.