Exhausted All the Time

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dinosgirl
dinosgirl Posts: 157 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am a mother of three (a 5 year-old, a 3 year-old and a 10 month-old) and I work full-time. My daily routine consists of getting up between 5:30am or 6am (depending on when my 10 month-old decides he wants to get up) and on the weekdays I have to get ready for work (while trying to entertain my little guy) and be out the door by 7am. I get home usually around 6pm and from there have to make dinner, help my 5yo with his homework, give baths, read stories and put kids to bed. It's not until around 9pm or 9:30pm that I have some time to spare to workout. After that I have to shower do some dishes and pick-up the house. By the time I get to bed it's usually nearly midnight! I am exhausted.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can increase my energy?

Replies

  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    you're not gonna like it, but, You need more than 5 and a half hours of sleep a night. Sleep is probably the most important healthy thing you can do for your body.
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    What he said.

    You didn't mention in your OP, but are you a single mother? If you're married, why not have your partner be responsible for the children for a half hour or an hour so that you can get your workout in earlier.

    Or, find another mom and trade off childcare (I know a woman who does this) she drops her kids off, and works out on MWF, and her friend drops her kids off and works out T,Thur,Sat.

    But, none of that will work unless you sleep a little more.:flowerforyou:
  • dinosgirl
    dinosgirl Posts: 157 Member
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    you're not gonna like it, but, You need more than 5 and a half hours of sleep a night. Sleep is probably the most important healthy thing you can do for your body.

    Believe me - I wish it was that simple for me to get to the extra sleep I need...
  • MissKim
    MissKim Posts: 2,853 Member
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    Where's the hubby? If your a single mother, here's some ideas::::

    caffiene!
    more sleep!
    get the kids to work out with you...it could be fun? ;)
    pre-cook a few meals ( i cook things that can last a while and freeze options for quick meals on sunday)
    got any friends that can visit and help out?
    call your mommy!?
    take time for yourself to relax?
  • aniralav
    aniralav Posts: 3
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    I don't know about getting more energy besides sleep. But to help with the workout thing, you can carry small weights with you. At work while sitting at your desk you can break them out and use them. The extra weight will help you burn more as you walk around. And remember that running after kids is a workout all its own.
  • dinosgirl
    dinosgirl Posts: 157 Member
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    What he said.

    You didn't mention in your OP, but are you a single mother? If you're married, why not have your partner be responsible for the children for a half hour or an hour so that you can get your workout in earlier.

    Or, find another mom and trade off childcare (I know a woman who does this) she drops her kids off, and works out on MWF, and her friend drops her kids off and works out T,Thur,Sat.

    But, none of that will work unless you sleep a little more.:flowerforyou:

    Thanks! I'm not a single mom but my husband and I work opposite shifts so we don't have to use daycare (he is literally getting home and going to bed when I get up and when I get home from work he leaves for his job).
  • dinosgirl
    dinosgirl Posts: 157 Member
    Options
    Where's the hubby? If your a single mother, here's some ideas::::

    caffiene!
    more sleep!
    get the kids to work out with you...it could be fun? ;)
    pre-cook a few meals ( i cook things that can last a while and freeze options for quick meals on sunday)
    got any friends that can visit and help out?
    call your mommy!?
    take time for yourself to relax?

    Some great ideas - thanks!

    I sometimes have the kids work out with me but they lose interest pretty quickly. But I do at least like them seeing that Mommy is trying to be healthy and hope that they won't ever turn nto couch potatoes!
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    I would say this, even to the point that you skip workouts a couple of days a week, or don't pick up the house quite so much every couple of days, sleep is that important. Not only will you feel tired, it can literally have long term effects on your health including causing or contributing to depression, weight gain, Diabetes, immune system degradation... among other things.
  • vraehn
    vraehn Posts: 1,008
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    Fix meals ahead on weekends. When we grill out I do enough meats for a week. Then reheat it on the stove with about a tablespoon of water in it to keep it moist. All you have left to fix is the vegs and/or salad. That should help. Children can help with dishes when old enough. Maybe you can get to bed earlier.

    For the morning, on weekends set aside the clothes you and children will wear each day. This should be a big time saver and may allow you to sleep a little extra in the a m.

    Good luck:smile::wink: :laugh: :happy: :flowerforyou:
  • Demetria
    Demetria Posts: 178
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    I agree with SHBoss1673, sleep is more important than pickup up the house. You can actually make yourself physically older if you chronically go without enough sleep. Ask your hubby to do some of the house chores, both of you work and take care of the kids so you can also share in the housecleaning duties. Sometimes you are just going to have to let go and lower your standards on how clean you keep your home. Find the bare minimum that you can do, like keeping the kitchen & bathrooms cleaned is a must, dirty laundry off the floor, the kids can survive with that. Those kiddos are only little once, play with them as a form of exercise, chase them around the backyard, dance with them, play games with them, do something that is fun for them, you are still moving your body and that is what counts.

    Demetria
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
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    What he said.

    You didn't mention in your OP, but are you a single mother? If you're married, why not have your partner be responsible for the children for a half hour or an hour so that you can get your workout in earlier.

    Or, find another mom and trade off childcare (I know a woman who does this) she drops her kids off, and works out on MWF, and her friend drops her kids off and works out T,Thur,Sat.

    But, none of that will work unless you sleep a little more.:flowerforyou:

    Thanks! I'm not a single mom but my husband and I work opposite shifts so we don't have to use daycare (he is literally getting home and going to bed when I get up and when I get home from work he leaves for his job).

    Seems to me then he could be helping out with meals or some other chores before he leaves.

    The bottom line is planning, scheduling, but most of all--prioritizing and commitment. Are you going to have time to follow an elaborate workout routine? No. You are at a time in your life when that is probably not possible.

    So, you need to determine what is the maximum time you have to spend, prioritize that time and stick to a routine. That means sitting down with a weekly schedule, block out the "absolute" times (work, sleep, etc) then make your workout the highest priority for your "elective" time.

    It means sitting down with your husband and setting common goals and getting his commitment to helping you achieve yours (and vice versa). That might mean he helps out more around the house, or gets involved in more child care. That might mean you both tolerate a more "flexible" level of cleanliness, modify a social schedule, or change meal times. Whatever it is, you need a "family" commitment.

    Then you need to set up a realistic exercise routine. I would keep it pretty basic so that you have a more realistic chance of success. It may be that you work out on the two weekend days and only one day during the week. A 30-45 min combo cardio/strength routine 3x per week may be all you can fit in at first. Start with that see how it goes.

    I just think you have a better chance of success if you start off with a basic program and stick to it rather than trying for an "ideal" program and have it turn out hit or miss.
  • kimberjones
    kimberjones Posts: 155
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    Sleep - MUCHO important!

    Water - MUCHO important!

    Food - eat regular meals that are high in nutrition when you eat. I always try to do a double batch of certain foods so I can use them again later in the week. Chili is great, beef stew, chicken and dumplings, soup, chicken noodle soup - great things you can keep in the frig or freeze and take out again later.

    Vitamins - find a good daily vitamin. Your body may be low on iron - lots of women are - and take a daily vitamin. Give that a week or two and see if you feel better.

    Discussion with your husband is going to be VERY important. It's very difficult with 3 little ones - I have 3 and, although mine are older now, they're 2.5 years apart so I had an infant, 2.5 yr old and 5 yr old at one point. That is exhausting. You need to have some decompression time and fun time with the kids. That can be your workout but something else is going to have to give. You'll wear yourself out if you continue like you're going now. Buy things to make life easier - lysol wipes to help clean with the bathroom, a swiffer to help with cleaning the kitchen floor. Things like that help me even now.

    Hang in there! You can do it. It's just going to take dedication to a simple (key - simple) routine.

    :flowerforyou:
  • GreenEyedMama
    GreenEyedMama Posts: 4
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    I'm not sure what you do for work, but I sit at a desk all day. I find that a 20-30 minute walk during my lunch break gives me more energy to get through the afternoon and evening. Plus, it is a chance to burn a few more calories which is not bad either.
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
    Options
    Sleep - MUCHO important!

    Water - MUCHO important!

    Food - eat regular meals that are high in nutrition when you eat. I always try to do a double batch of certain foods so I can use them again later in the week. Chili is great, beef stew, chicken and dumplings, soup, chicken noodle soup - great things you can keep in the frig or freeze and take out again later.

    Vitamins - find a good daily vitamin. Your body may be low on iron - lots of women are - and take a daily vitamin. Give that a week or two and see if you feel better.

    Discussion with your husband is going to be VERY important. It's very difficult with 3 little ones - I have 3 and, although mine are older now, they're 2.5 years apart so I had an infant, 2.5 yr old and 5 yr old at one point. That is exhausting. You need to have some decompression time and fun time with the kids. That can be your workout but something else is going to have to give. You'll wear yourself out if you continue like you're going now. Buy things to make life easier - lysol wipes to help clean with the bathroom, a swiffer to help with cleaning the kitchen floor. Things like that help me even now.

    Hang in there! You can do it. It's just going to take dedication to a simple (key - simple) routine.

    :flowerforyou:

    Good suggestions.

    When my wife and I were both working full time w/megahour jobs and two kids in JrHS, we found that having a cleaning service come in just once a month was really helpful and, especially for my wife, a great stress-reducer.

    I got a lot more "action" out of that $90.00 investment every month than I ever could have with a fancy dinner and flowers.........;-)

    (I did those, too)
  • dinosgirl
    dinosgirl Posts: 157 Member
    Options
    Sleep - MUCHO important!

    Water - MUCHO important!

    Food - eat regular meals that are high in nutrition when you eat. I always try to do a double batch of certain foods so I can use them again later in the week. Chili is great, beef stew, chicken and dumplings, soup, chicken noodle soup - great things you can keep in the frig or freeze and take out again later.

    Vitamins - find a good daily vitamin. Your body may be low on iron - lots of women are - and take a daily vitamin. Give that a week or two and see if you feel better.

    Discussion with your husband is going to be VERY important. It's very difficult with 3 little ones - I have 3 and, although mine are older now, they're 2.5 years apart so I had an infant, 2.5 yr old and 5 yr old at one point. That is exhausting. You need to have some decompression time and fun time with the kids. That can be your workout but something else is going to have to give. You'll wear yourself out if you continue like you're going now. Buy things to make life easier - lysol wipes to help clean with the bathroom, a swiffer to help with cleaning the kitchen floor. Things like that help me even now.

    Hang in there! You can do it. It's just going to take dedication to a simple (key - simple) routine.

    :flowerforyou:

    Good suggestions.

    When my wife and I were both working full time w/megahour jobs and two kids in JrHS, we found that having a cleaning service come in just once a month was really helpful and, especially for my wife, a great stress-reducer.

    I got a lot more "action" out of that $90.00 investment every month than I ever could have with a fancy dinner and flowers.........;-)

    (I did those, too)

    LOL :laugh:

    I actually like that suggestion. Maybe if I pinch pennies elsewhere that might be a terrific option.

    I try not to let it, but all the clutter lying around the house stresses me out big time. We have a teeny, tiny house so it seems crowded, cramped and messy when evenjust a few things are lying around. I can't relax looking at it constantly. But I do know I need to give somewhere.

    Again - thank you all for the suggestions. I'm thinking of giving a few of them a go. I do need more sleep and how can I be a good mom to my kids if I am exhausted all the time.
  • cerdmann
    cerdmann Posts: 60
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    You are living my life from 20 years ago! Take heart, dear, these days will pass and your kids will become more independent. With their independence comes a bit more time for Mom to schedule in a regular workout session. But for now you need HELP! You are carrying a tremendous burden trying to work full-time, take care of three children after work, and take care of the house. I know that you said your hubby works opposite shifts so that you don't have to use daycare. This is admirable for both of you and you're probably BOTH exhausted. You do need to sit down with hubby to try to schedule out a routine that will give you more time for yourself (whether you use it to exercise or just nap!) and that will divide the household chores evenly. Here are a few suggestions that might help:

    - Ask hubby to choose one major household chore that he will be responsible for (laundry, preparing meals, grocery shopping, weekly vacuuming, etc.). That way you know that one big thing is off your list.

    - Let your kids know that Mommy needs some time for exercise. If the 3 and 5 year old are bored with exercise, ask them to play trucks or puzzles or something in the room while you do a few crunches, jump rope, pushups and floor stretches. If you make funny faces at the baby while you're working out, perhaps she/he will be happy just to watch Mommy for 20 minutes do silly routines. Try to do this routinely, say right before bath time. That way they know to expect it. I wouldn't try for more than 20 minutes because their attention spans will not last any longer!

    -Hire a neighborhood girl to come in a couple times a week to watch the kids for 30 minutes while you go out for a walk/run around the neighborhood. Then when you return, ask her to stay to help with dishes, baths, reading books, make lunches for the kids for the next day, etc. You won't be away for long and you'll be close by. This will help you to be able to pick up the house, while she's reading a book to the kids or doing the dishes or making lunches. A couple times a week for an hour or hour and a half should not be too expensive. Add this 30 minutes two times a week to your 20 minute daily routines (above).

    - I love the suggestion someone made about going for a walk during your lunch break. Again, it does not have to be extremely long -- just 20 minutes a couple times a week will supplement your other routines nicely. Be sure to include a few stairs in this lunch break walk.

    - Everywhere you drive, make sure you park far out in the parking lot so that you have to walk a bit to get into the store, library, work, house, etc. This adds up! As does chasing your little ones around. If you don't believe it, get a cheap pedometer and see just how many miles you log on a daily basis!

    - Go to bed when you get the kids down as often as possible! If you can leave the "picking up" to your husband a couple times a week when he comes home, and have a neighborhood helper a couple times a week to help out with the kids, then you should not have to stay up long after the kids go to bed most nights during the week. Even if you don't go to sleep right away at 9:00 or 9:30, turn off the TV and the phone, sit in a bubble bath or just read for 15 minutes until you are sleepy. You need this time!

    All of this is easier said than done. Like I said, this is my life 20 years ago. But in retrospect, if I could do everything all over, I would definitely care less about making sure the house was spotless and that I was keeping up with my "supermom" image. I'd have asked for help from my husband and used a neighborhood helper to come in a couple of evenings, even if I was home, just to help with chores. And, I would have made sure to take much better care of myself. You do not want to find out at 53 that you've spent all those years over-stressing yourself to your own detriment! Trust me on this one.

    Keep looking for every opportunity to take care of yourself. It will pay off in the long run.

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