First steps towards recovery

EmCeeKayla
EmCeeKayla Posts: 53 Member
in Motivation and Support
It's taken me a lot of time to agree to doing this, but I'm finally taking the first steps to beat my anorexia. I've had problems with anorexia since around 6th grade. People called me fat my entire life. Nothing got bad until this year really.

At the end of March 2012, I weighed 129 pounds.
It's now May and I weigh 112.

I know this isn't healthy. Recently things have gotten worse as I'm stressed over finals. I've gotten to the point where 300 calories seems like A LOT.

I admit that my goal was set to 500 calories. I know that's not right. I also usually only ate HALF of that. So now here's what I'm going to do:
-I'm now setting my goal to 600.
-I'm going to start pre-logging my food so I'm not tempted to skip out.
-In a week, I'll increase it to 700.
-Increase by 100 each week until 1,200.

I don't think I'll ever be able to eat more than 1,200 calories and that's me being completely honest.
With dancing and exercise, I can't afford to be eating only 200-300 calories a day.

Any tips would be GREATLY appreciated.

Replies

  • nikkifk
    nikkifk Posts: 48 Member
    well done for taking a big step towards a healthy life!! It takes guts to deal with yourself honestly and by putting this up as a post, you've begun to make yourself accountable for your food. Well Done!!!!!
  • the_stephinator
    the_stephinator Posts: 39 Member
    I don't have any personal experience with anorexia. I am a recovering bulemic. Opposite ends of the spectrum perhaps but the bottom line is the same: it's all about control and control is nothing but an illusion. I call me eating disorder "Frank" just so I have someone to cuss out when I get mad at the messages I "hear" of not being good enough. It has taken me years of therapy (which I do HIGHLY recommend) and work with a health coach to get to where I am comfortable. The number on the scale and on my clothing tag used to define me as a person and "Frank" would always tell me that if I lost 20 more pounds then I would be perfect. It wouldn't matter what the number was, to be perfect it had to be 20 pounds less than the current number. I think that gradually increasing your calories is the really really smart way to go. I can tell you that recovery is possible. I was grossly overweight and caught in the binge-purge cycle. I am now in range of what doctor's consider healthy for someone my height. I figured out that the number isn't so important. I joined MFP because I had put 30lbs back on after having to drastically change my diet due to allergies. Today, if the weight comes off, GREAT! If it doesn't, that's ok too because I'm doing what I can do to be the healthiest me possible. Best of luck and feel free to add me as a friend if you want someone for your cheering squad!
  • WelcomeToWonderland
    WelcomeToWonderland Posts: 89
    Congrats on trying to overcome your anorexia. I was anorexic for a long time until my mom threatened me with every meal i skipped she would too and i knew what i was doing was dangerous and unhealthy but i didnt think about it with myself until i heard her say she was going to do the same thing. Maybe that might help you, if you think about how its hurting other people around you.

    another thing that helped me was instead of extreme heavy exercising once a day i would go to my favourtie shops walk around the mall and maybe get a fruit smoothie and i felt like that was my exercise without starving myself. It would sort of help me get lost in something else so i wasnt thinking about what i just ate and calculating every calorie

    Good lucK!
  • Tink_889
    Tink_889 Posts: 244 Member
    Well done you for admitting you have a problem and looking at ways to overcome this.

    If you want, you can add me as a friend and message me anytime you need support.

    xxx
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    Great goals. Looking forward to hearing about your progress and success :flowerforyou:
  • xNJAx
    xNJAx Posts: 170 Member
    Congratulations on deciding to face this - I know it can't be easy, but it's definitely the right decision!

    One tip I have is to add nuts to your diet. I struggle to eat enough calories at times but my nutritionist suggested eating nuts on those days because they're high in calories and good fats, which means you don't have to eat so much volume and then feel overwhelmed. It's the quantity of food that freaks me out the most.

    All the best with your journey to a new healthy you! :)

    Natalie x
  • SusanLovesToEat
    SusanLovesToEat Posts: 213 Member
    Congratulations on setting your goals! They sound quite reasonable. Join a support group they're great!
  • BeautyAndTheGeeks
    BeautyAndTheGeeks Posts: 109
    Well done for taking the first steps to recovery :). I dealt with eating disorders earlier in my teens (although now I'm at the opposite end of the scale) and I know how hard it can be. I'm glad that you're trying to increase your calories, but I worry that you might be doing it all too quickly and end up overwhelming yourself and taking 5 steps back. Maybe try increasing your calories by 100 every two weeks instead of every week. Then it'll be more gradual and slightly less scary for you :). I know when I was "teaching" myself to eat again, I increased my calories by 100 every 3-4 weeks, so it does take time to adjust. Good luck! Feel free to message me if you need any support :)

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