I need some direction/encouragement

mablesyrup · September 2009

I feel so lost right now. At my heaviest I was 350lbs. I cut out fast food a few years ago and managed to lose 100lbs just from that. Then I had 2 more kids and recently have had some problems with my dh and our relationship. My weight is fluctuating between 250 and 300lbs.. i would always get in the 170s and it would jolt me enough and i'd get back down to 250 range. However, I've just realized that I'm back up a little over 300. I feel like crap, im exhausted all the time etc... My goal weight is 141.

So here is where I need the help. I don't know what to do. I've always lived/preached the phrase, "if what you're doing isn't working- try something else". I'm really struggling with the debate of WLS vs. just losing it the "good old fashioned way"... I've been trying the "good old fashioned way" for 20+ years and it's never totally worked. But at the same time- i've also thought surgery was an easy out- like i know i could lose it without surgery- but based on my track record, it's obvious it's not working. So my aunt is having surgery next month and there's a huge debate in our family over whether or not she is doing the right thing. (her and I are about the only ones with weight issues)... Some of her friends have had it done - and it seems like they've gained it back- they still eat ****ty... so i dont think it worked as a lifestyle change- but i also realize i can't workout 8+ hours a day like on the biggest loser either.

HELP please. I'm a business owner, a mom of 3, I'm in college full time and I care for/live with my grandparents... I need some serious advice to help give me some direction.

thanks so much for reading/listening.

ittybittybadonkadonk · September 2009

I feel so lost right now. At my heaviest I was 350lbs. I cut out fast food a few years ago and managed to lose 100lbs just from that. Then I had 2 more kids and recently have had some problems with my dh and our relationship. My weight is fluctuating between 250 and 300lbs.. i would always get in the 170s and it would jolt me enough and i'd get back down to 250 range. However, I've just realized that I'm back up a little over 300. I feel like crap, im exhausted all the time etc... My goal weight is 141.

So here is where I need the help. I don't know what to do. I've always lived/preached the phrase, "if what you're doing isn't working- try something else". I'm really struggling with the debate of WLS vs. just losing it the "good old fashioned way"... I've been trying the "good old fashioned way" for 20+ years and it's never totally worked. But at the same time- i've also thought surgery was an easy out- like i know i could lose it without surgery- but based on my track record, it's obvious it's not working. So my aunt is having surgery next month and there's a huge debate in our family over whether or not she is doing the right thing. (her and I are about the only ones with weight issues)... Some of her friends have had it done - and it seems like they've gained it back- they still eat ****ty... so i dont think it worked as a lifestyle change- but i also realize i can't workout 8+ hours a day like on the biggest loser either.

HELP please. I'm a business owner, a mom of 3, I'm in college full time and I care for/live with my grandparents... I need some serious advice to help give me some direction.

thanks so much for reading/listening.

Please dont give up .... YOU CAN DO THIS AND WE ARE BEHIND YOU ALL THE STEP OF THE WAY.....:flowerforyou:

:flowerforyou: GOOD LUCK TO YOU HUN .... keep your head up high and tell yourself you can do this and your gonna do this

Taylokai · September 2009

I have seen members of my family have weight loss surgery and they DO NOT change their lifestyle and have DiFFERENT health problems now. I feel like if you don't fix the real issue of why you gain the weight you will always have issues. Just keep going, don't give up. I wish the best for you!

erodriquez · September 2009

I have to say you are a beautiful girl! Get up, get moving and do this for you because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!!!!

PlumCrazyGirl · September 2009

You seem to have a very busy life - caring for others, running your business and going to college. There's a lot you're doing.....

As overwhelming as weight loss is, consider one day at a time. Or one meal at a time.

A relative of mine had the surgery. First, there was blood pressure complications and had to stay extra time in recovery. Second, Ok, many many many pounds later -- I don't recognize him.
Yes, thin but all over but his face is "older" much "older" after the surgery. Like aged 15 years.

My suggestion is truly attempt the old fashioned way - cut down on calories & exercise.

Try to make one small change to your eating habits -- something managable like stick to serving size of ice cream (1/2 cup). Start with something small then add other changes - like cut back on soda or fast food.

Best of luck.... hang in there.

ivykivy · September 2009

You can lose the weight and keep it off. You don't have to lose the weight all at once. Set a goal of one pound a week or even half a pound and make a commitment to devote 90min a week to exercise. You have to set a little time aside to yourself. The exercise can be your unwind time. A DVD like walk away the pounds is easy and requires little space. You can do it.

mamaturner · September 2009

Honestly, it sounds like perhaps your gaining the weight via stress, which CAN cause weight gain, and you sure sound like you have more than a full plate, no pun intended. Perhaps just try giving yourself time once a week to relax yourself whether it's just taking a nap, watching a movie (alone), reading a book, getting your nails done. I think maybe try that along with a diet, and of course plenty of sleep.

mablesyrup · September 2009

i know the weight gain has been from stress. =( and lack of sleep....

lisawest · September 2009

My husband and I decided to do this together. Our first change (and I lost 3 pounds the first week!) was to watch our portion size. We started weighing and measuring everything we put on our plates or in our mouths. That in and of itself is eye opening. Once you start sticking to the correct serving size, it makes room for veggies, fruits, and other healthy stuff. Our second change has been to keep more fresh fruit and veggies in the fridge for snacks.

It's a long journey, but as the say "a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step." If you don't do it now, then when? Good luck on finding what works for you. Feel free to vent on here. It helps sometimes!

Linsmom · September 2009

I think that you are dealing with ALOT of stress! And I agree that can cause weight gain too.....been there as well!
I try to just avoid things that are stressful for me....sometimes its not easy, but when something bugs me, my new stress buster is cleaningor pacing the room!

You can do it! {{HUGS}} Forget about WLS....that is not the way to go. There are alot of people here that can help you!

Georg · September 2009

Sometimes when life seems out of my control, it feels good to be in charge of just one little thing - like my food or exercise.
Then that one thing multiplies & pretty soon other areas seem to become more manageable.
I say to pick one thing & take control & make it work for you so you feel good about it.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
Hang in there. We're all here for you.

MsMargie1116 · September 2009

Awe Sweety!!! I'm right there with ya!!! My sister had the gastric bypass surgery about 5+ years ago and I have to say it's messed up her life... Where she used to eat her emotions away, she started drinking them away, then she started popping pain pills...

Proof positive, if we don't deal with the whole reason we got this big in the first place, it'll just continue being a vicious cycle. :ohwell:

Just like an alcoholic or a drug addict, we've got to deal with the reason we're in this state, then the weight loss will naturally follow.

That's the point I'm at right now...

I feel so lost right now. At my heaviest I was 350lbs. I cut out fast food a few years ago and managed to lose 100lbs just from that. Then I had 2 more kids and recently have had some problems with my dh and our relationship. My weight is fluctuating between 250 and 300lbs.. i would always get in the 170s and it would jolt me enough and i'd get back down to 250 range. However, I've just realized that I'm back up a little over 300. I feel like crap, im exhausted all the time etc... My goal weight is 141.

So here is where I need the help. I don't know what to do. I've always lived/preached the phrase, "if what you're doing isn't working- try something else". I'm really struggling with the debate of WLS vs. just losing it the "good old fashioned way"... I've been trying the "good old fashioned way" for 20+ years and it's never totally worked. But at the same time- i've also thought surgery was an easy out- like i know i could lose it without surgery- but based on my track record, it's obvious it's not working. So my aunt is having surgery next month and there's a huge debate in our family over whether or not she is doing the right thing. (her and I are about the only ones with weight issues)... Some of her friends have had it done - and it seems like they've gained it back- they still eat ****ty... so i dont think it worked as a lifestyle change- but i also realize i can't workout 8+ hours a day like on the biggest loser either.

HELP please. I'm a business owner, a mom of 3, I'm in college full time and I care for/live with my grandparents... I need some serious advice to help give me some direction.

thanks so much for reading/listening.

RXchic · September 2009

First, let me say you are not alone. So many of us are in similar situations. My vote is a big fat NO on the surgery:noway: I work in the medical field and I can tell you from first-hand experience that there are A LOT of complications from gastric bypass. I see some many with permanent malnutrician & absorption problems - and yes, they are still fat, just more medical problems. I also see a lot that practice "addicition transferance." They trade one addiction (food) for another - alcohol is most common. Many of these patients are clinically depressed - the same problems from before still exist - but now due to a substantially decrease gut, most medications (especially antidepressants) are not absorbed enough to give a response. That's where I come in - I work in a psych hospital & my job is to find medications that work. And it's hard - there are not that many meds that don't require a stomach & small intestine for absorption! These are things that are not talked about before the surgery. Please think long & hard before signing up for gastric bypass. You have lost weight before which means you can do it again! DON'T GIVE UP!! :flowerforyou:

mablesyrup · September 2009

thanks for the advice!!!! I dont think i was clear enough- i do not want surgery. no way!!!!! I realize that it may mask symptoms for awhile- but it doesnt take care of the problem. I was addicted to food- and then i became addicted to smoking because it took the food addiction away and it helped with my 100lb weight loss.. but then i stopped smoking- and so my addiction went back to food... i just need to get to the root of the addiction and get it taken care of!

My reason for posting about the surgery- i guess when i get depressed and feel bad i start to try and justify why having surgery might not be a bad idea in some small form.. but then i come on here and there are so many people encouraging me... and i do a search for the surgery and read about how all of these celebrities who have done it- they almost all have gained the weight back. I am really struggling with my emotions towards this- my aunt keeps talking about it saying how its so great etc... and i'm trying to be excited for her- but i know that in the long term it wont work- and theres a part of me who is jealous that in the next year she will be significantly smaller- and where i wish i was (we are about the same size now)... it doesnt help she keeps asking me what size i wear and telling me how in just a few months i can have all of her old clothes. That does not make me feel good at all.
I want to be supportive- but I'm finding it hard to support a "lost cause" of sorts (if that makes sense?)

It confirms that I've been right all- along. I don't want anything to do with the surgery- it's not for me!!!!!!!!! I have already lost 100lbs on my own- I only have 100 to go... i know i can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks so much everyone for the awesome encouragement!!!!!!!

thumper44 · September 2009

i just need to get to the root of the addiction and get it taken care of!

Yeppers:flowerforyou:

my aunt keeps talking about it saying how its so great etc... and i'm trying to be excited for her- but i know that in the long term it wont work- and theres a part of me who is jealous that in the next year she will be significantly smaller- and where i wish i was (we are about the same size now)... it doesnt help she keeps asking me what size i wear and telling me how in just a few months i can have all of her old clothes. That does not make me feel good at all.
I want to be supportive- but I'm finding it hard to support a "lost cause" of sorts (if that makes sense?)

You've done a great job so far, and you can keep doing a great job. Small steps, and give yourself some rewards on the way.

As for your aunt, I would try to be excited and support her, but DO NOT be jealous, as you have heard/read there are many people who have either gained the weight back after sugery, or having other complications.
You are learning what is good and bad to eat, and portion control. There's nothing saying that you can't be close to her weight next year WITHOUT surgery.
(Perhaps this would be a great goal to aim for?).

An even better goal to aim for would be to be down xx lbs in a few months, and next time your aunt wants to offer you those clothes, tell her to send them to someone else who is overweight, and that you won't need them.

You can do this, your not alone.:flowerforyou:

mablesyrup · September 2009

Thank you

I need some direction/encouragement

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