Unhelpful friends!!! help!
Gotzy
Posts: 15
i see my weight loss as a permanent lifestyle change; not as a diet or a quick fix method. For this reason i am very happy for the weight to come off more slowly and also allow myself treats and cheat days very occassionally as this is forever....tomorrow, in two years, and in twenty years time i'm gonna be wanting a nice meal out every now and agian.
well my problem is all my friends have started these crazy unsustainable diets; no carbs, 500 calories a day, over-exercize... in preparation for summer.
they make me feel rubbish for eating anything and remark on what i'm eating... even though last week they were pigging out on macdonalds every day.
i know i shouldn't let it get to me but it really does! any tips, suggestions or motivation would be greatly appreciated... even enyone with the same problem who can empathise with me!!!
well my problem is all my friends have started these crazy unsustainable diets; no carbs, 500 calories a day, over-exercize... in preparation for summer.
they make me feel rubbish for eating anything and remark on what i'm eating... even though last week they were pigging out on macdonalds every day.
i know i shouldn't let it get to me but it really does! any tips, suggestions or motivation would be greatly appreciated... even enyone with the same problem who can empathise with me!!!
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Replies
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i have a friend who lost 20lb in two months from eating very unhealthily. and really annoyingly she looks great. Think one carrot a day! Sometimes just one can of soup and draining out the potato. It really irritates me when she gives me catty remarks "weighing your food, that's a bit obsessive isn't it?" It's called portion control love! The reason why I am over weight - I ate too much.
You have to remind yourself you are the healthy one. In the long wrong you will win the tortoise vs the hare race. We all know here they will but the weight back on eventually, and probably more.
I deal with my friend by trying not to be around food together. This is a problem for me as we are flatmates....it is inevitable sometimes. I try to change the subject when she starts talking about food. She is a great gibber, pretending she feels great and full of energy which can make me feel worse.
We both are the stronger ones!!
x0 -
I think you've got the right idea. It also happens to be my idea, so maybe I'm just partial. Obviously, to look at it as a lifestyle change is so much better. It's not about never eating the foods you love, it's about moderation and losing weight slowly is better. Don't let others de-motivate you!!:flowerforyou:0
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They're idiots, you're doing it right.
This time next year they'll be doing it all over again while you'll be enjoying eating at maintenance.0 -
You have a great point. I think you need to push along and do what you feel in comfortable. Its not healthy to eat just 500 calories a day, while you are burning 1000 calories a day, just ot look good for the summer. You hit the nail on the head when you said this is a lifetime change, not for 3 or 4 months. Hang in there and don't let your friends bother you when you eat your calories (or even go over one day). Good luck0
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I don't necessarily have the friends that are dieting (I am a bit of a homebody), but I do have the same way of thinking as you. In the start I lost a bunch in one month and now my weight lose has been really slow. Sometimes staying the same for two weeks before another jump down! But I want my belly to shrink with the weight and not leave me with a fold of skin. And I want to learn the proper way to eat. AND I feel that the actual size of my stomache is shrinking to a normal size because I feel fuller faster lately. I don't mind if it takes me another year to lose the last 20 pounds as long as I stick to my portion sizes, less snacking and working out on a regular basis. I have yo-yo'd too much in my life and want to be done with it!
My only difference is that during this I have discovered an intolerance to gluten and feel that this is going to help me stick to my guns because the breads that I would normally eat a whole loaf of will actually physically hurt me now if I eat it...0 -
Everyone is suddenly an expert when they hop onto some diet fad or craze. You can't control what other people do or say, but you can control your reactions to it (can you tell I deal with a lot of idiots?) Your life and your choices are in your hands, not theirs. You can just ignore them and go on with your life, or you can be more direct and simply say "I am doing what is best for me" or something like that. Ultimately, though, no matter what they are saying, don't permit them to make you feel like rubbish. That puts way too much control in their hands.0
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All you do is smile and encourage them.
Congratulate them for dropping 20 LBS in a week.
Keep eating healthy and staying physically strong.
That way, when your friend passes out after eating a single peice if bread for the day, you are strong enough to drag her to the car and take her to the ER where they will pump her full of IV food.0 -
i have a friend who lost 20lb in two months from eating very unhealthily. and really annoyingly she looks great. Think one carrot a day! Sometimes just one can of soup and draining out the potato. It really irritates me when she gives me catty remarks "weighing your food, that's a bit obsessive isn't it?" It's called portion control love! The reason why I am over weight - I ate too much.
You have to remind yourself you are the healthy one. In the long wrong you will win the tortoise vs the hare race. We all know here they will but the weight back on eventually, and probably more.
I deal with my friend by trying not to be around food together. This is a problem for me as we are flatmates....it is inevitable sometimes. I try to change the subject when she starts talking about food. She is a great gibber, pretending she feels great and full of energy which can make me feel worse.
We both are the stronger ones!!
x
^ this.You know once bathing suit season is over they willput back on that weight and winter weight. Feel free to be smug with them when that happens and you are still looking and feeling amazing!0 -
All you do is smile and encourage them.
Congratulate them for dropping 20 LBS in a week.
Keep eating healthy and staying physically strong.
That way, when your friend passes out after eating a single peice if bread for the day, you are strong enough to drag her to the car and take her to the ER where they will pump her full of IV food.
HAHAH!0 -
Eat bread in front of them and laugh at their futile resistance.0
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They're idiots, you're doing it right.
This time next year they'll be doing it all over again while you'll be enjoying eating at maintenance.
This right here. You just keep doing it the smart way. You will be the successful one.0 -
It sounds like your friends are all looking for a quick fix for summer rather than a lifetime change. I wouldn't let them get to you, stay strong and in the long run it will pay off. After summer they will be back to scoffing McDonalds all the time and their summer weight loss will be a thing of the past, while you will be continually losing weight and enjoying the food you like.
Good luck!!0 -
I've done those crazy fad diets and your friends will gain it back. You are doing the right thing. Just don't snicker too loudly when their plan fails and yours is still going strong.:happy:0
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My only difference is that during this I have discovered an intolerance to gluten and feel that this is going to help me stick to my guns because the breads that I would normally eat a whole loaf of will actually physically hurt me now if I eat it...
I cut out glutens right after Easter. So it's only been ONE month. Holy moly. I didn' realize it's been such a short amount of time.
Anyway. Cutting them out has made me drop alot of size very quickly. Quiting drinking possibly helped as well. It all happened around the same time.
I went from a strained size 20(read as really should have gone up a size!) to now being very comfortable in 18s. In ONE MONTH!
I still have the occasional gluten as my husband doesn't have the sensitivity, but I definately pay for it later!! I can feel it churning and expanding in there. blurk.0 -
All you do is smile and encourage them.
Congratulate them for dropping 20 LBS in a week.
Keep eating healthy and staying physically strong.
That way, when your friend passes out after eating a single peice if bread for the day, you are strong enough to drag her to the car and take her to the ER where they will pump her full of IV food.
LOL and almost had coffee come out of my nose! Ouch! :laugh: :drinker:0 -
tell them at least you wont have as much of a flappy skin problem as they will. and your tits wont suffer as much from the yo-yo-ing. And that your body is your brain's best friend, not just its tupperware®0
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Personally, I don't look down on the choices my friends make for themselves. If I can educate them on a healthier way, then I will, but people have to be receptive for that. Otherwise, they make their choices and I make mine. If they look down on my choices, then I delete them from my FL. But I have honestly never experienced that. The people that judge me for my choices generally delete me. If there are people on your FL that aren't providing you with positive and constructive support, cut them loose.0
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Delete them0
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Personally, I don't look down on the choices my friends make for themselves. If I can educate them on a healthier way, then I will, but people have to be receptive for that. Otherwise, they make their choices and I make mine. If they look down on my choices, then I delete them from my FL. But I have honestly never experienced that. The people that judge me for my choices generally delete me. If there are people on your FL that aren't providing you with positive and constructive support, cut them loose.
Ummm I think she means friends in real life.0 -
Delete them
i mean real friends haha!0 -
i have a friend who lost 20lb in two months from eating very unhealthily. and really annoyingly she looks great. Think one carrot a day! Sometimes just one can of soup and draining out the potato. It really irritates me when she gives me catty remarks "weighing your food, that's a bit obsessive isn't it?" It's called portion control love! The reason why I am over weight - I ate too much.
The portion control thing is so true. So many people think it's silly to measure food. But, we haven't been trained (or at least here in the US, we haven't) as to what a "healthy portion" really looks like.
The fast food industry always pushes "bigger for cheaper is better" down our throats, and sit down resturaunts, will sometimes bring us portions that are large enough for 2-3 people to share, all in the name of a better value.
Measuring is one way we teach ourselves what real "serving" sizes look like. This allows us to make healthier choices when we can't measure, becuase we know better than to eat that entire plate of pasta, because we now KNOW what a serving of pasta looks like.
It's not crash dieting, like the others are doing.. its teaching ourselves a healthier way to live!!0 -
Personally, I don't look down on the choices my friends make for themselves. If I can educate them on a healthier way, then I will, but people have to be receptive for that. Otherwise, they make their choices and I make mine. If they look down on my choices, then I delete them from my FL. But I have honestly never experienced that. The people that judge me for my choices generally delete me. If there are people on your FL that aren't providing you with positive and constructive support, cut them loose.
Ummm I think she means friends in real life.
Either way. Just because you know them in real life doesn't mean you have to be around them. My stance remains the same... cut them loose.0 -
Just tell them that while they might look nice this summer and blow up again this winter, you're going to look awesome for the rest of your life. Then take a big bite of whatever it is you're eating and flash them a big smile.0
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i see my weight loss as a permanent lifestyle change; not as a diet or a quick fix method. For this reason i am very happy for the weight to come off more slowly and also allow myself treats and cheat days very occassionally as this is forever....tomorrow, in two years, and in twenty years time i'm gonna be wanting a nice meal out every now and agian.
well my problem is all my friends have started these crazy unsustainable diets; no carbs, 500 calories a day, over-exercize... in preparation for summer.
they make me feel rubbish for eating anything and remark on what i'm eating... even though last week they were pigging out on macdonalds every day.
i know i shouldn't let it get to me but it really does! any tips, suggestions or motivation would be greatly appreciated... even enyone with the same problem who can empathise with me!!!
I can empathise with you- I am getting married in July and have been steadily losing weight in the right way. But my nightmare comes with my 3 bridesmaids and all of them are being ridiculous about my wedding day. 1 of them just had liposuction and then told me I was an 'inspiration' to her that I was trying so hard but then said I would still probably need a large and she would only need a medium size !!!! 1 of them gloated about not eating anything for 4 days and going to the gym- also told me to buy her dress 2 sizes too small but assured me she would find a way to 'fit in it' and finally and most shocking my last one who is due to have her first baby this week and throughout her pregnany hasnt been eating any dairy or carbs!! that is too selfish for words! I don't know when and why some women become so stupid about things! And worst still why they need to be competitve!! Such ugly traits in people.0 -
A girl I'm friends with went on a 15 carbs a day diet. I'm not even kidding, her diet consisted of deli meat, cheese, and lettuce (could you imagine :sick: ). She dropped 20 lbs from Thanksgiving to Christmas.
Then new years came around, and she though she looked good enough to stop counting them, and started eating normally again, and she gained all of it back, plus some. Now most people would have learned from their mistakes, but not her. Now she's down to eating 15 carbs again, and starving herself.
While I wish I could lose weight like that, I'm doing it the healthy way, and I know when I'm done, I'll be able to maintain my weight. Just remember, a lot of them yoyo diet, and that's just as bad as being overweight0
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