How to handle compliments

ldrosophila · May 2012

I'm far from my goal or where I want my body to be, and I still weigh over 300lbs. However, one of the things about wt loss that always bothers me is starting to happen. The compliments! I'm terrible w/ compliments and I don't feel I deserve them. I sabotaged myself last time w/ the attention and change of attitude of people and put 100lbs back on. How do you all deal w/ that? I need a good coping strategy instead of reaching for food. I wish wt loss wasnt so public since my addiction and binges are usually something I do in private, but unfortunately I have to wear this body. I know that when the negative comments from jealous starts that it will also put me in a vunerable spot. Any advice is appreciated!

Dwamma · May 2012

Take pride in your weight loss, and smile and say thank you. Compliments are a blessing and should be a motovatior. keep your chin up and all will go well.
Blessings!! <><

Aviendha_RJ · May 2012

It's sometimes tough. I know how you feel though; it's like someone congratulating you for fixing something you shouldn't have done wrong in the first place. It makes you feel kind of... guilty. Like... it's still not right.

I don't know what to tell you, because I haven't figured it out myself. The same thing happened to me that happened to you, actually. I lost 30lbs, felt really great... then stopped working out & stopped paying a lot of attention. Then I put 15lbs back on, & now I feel HUGE! I feel like... I was actually BIGGER than this? Really? Wow.

But people who haven't seen me in a while are still telling me I look good. And I feel like... I'm fat all over again. Those compliments though? I also find them damaging. I don't think it's just you.

LMHinson15 · May 2012

I struggle with this too! MOST people, thankfully are pretty tactful. So when people say "You look good!" or "You've lost weight" I just say "I feel good!" or "I'm working on it!"

Some people are less tactful... it helps just to be prepared to deal with them. Sometimes, when someone says "how much have you lost?" or otherwise draw attention that I'm not comfortable with, I just say "you know it's less about numbers and more about just being healthy."

Nyodra · May 2012

I've recently lost over 100lbs and struggle with positive attention also. I learned early on that subject changes work the best - so long as its relative to the situation. I spent some time educating myself about my lifestyle change (currently on a Ketogenic diet) and when I get a complement I shift the focus to my diet, rather then my results. It works like a charm, I don't have to awkwardly say anything more then thanks and then I can ramble on about science which usually leads people to wander off.

quill16 · May 2012

I know what you mean and the range of compliments to jealous barbs can get to you. I usually reply to compliments" thank you I am proud of what I have accomplished and pray for the strength to continue". To the nasty barbs i say " i will get my doctor's opinion on my weight on my next visit" . It usually works.

Katwilkins · May 2012

I have a love hate with compliments, but I usually just say "Thanks, I am trying", because I am sure some people still think I look huge. And I have been heavy for a long time now, so I know what it feels like to want to eat, and how hard it is to get in the right mind set to diet. There is so much more to over eating than diet, emotions and depression. There is someone I work with that lost a lot of weight and they are the food nautzy now, being rude to people about what they are eating. I saw I didn't want to be like that either, so I usually just tell people that their food looks good even if it looks like a million calories. They are always bringing food to work and the people who make it, push it on to you, I also taste things that I really want to, then stop. I find many times it doesn't taste that good anyway.
I also decided it's not everyone's business how much I loose, so after reaching past 20 pounds when people ask how much I have lost, I have started saying and plan on saying this for the rest of my diet, "I have lost more than 20".
Good luck you can do it.

dlrcpa · May 2012

Try to think of it as a compliment to your hard work (hey - it is hard work to lose weight) rather than being all about your appearance.

LORRIE22 · May 2012

When people coment on my weight loss, I always smile and say thank you.
Then I ask them how their diet is coming along.
That throws them for a loop, and THEY change the subject right away.
Sometime they ramble on about their diets, though. Or the last one they were on.

I had just one friend that I hadn't seen in 6 months who was very dissapointed when she saw I had not regained my weight while she was gone. In fact, I had lost 15 more pounds since she saw me last. LOL

I avoid her now. I don't need jealous people in my life.

:grumble:

I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain

:bigsmile:

dvisser1 · May 2012

Own it. It can be embarrassing and sometimes a bit depressing to get that attention, but you simply have to own it. Take pride in what you are doing for yourself. It doesn't matter if you are on step one or step one billion on this journey to developing and maintaining a healthy, happy lifestyle. The fact that you are doing this for yourself is the most important part, take pride in that!

When the attention and compliment comes from someone close to you who truly loves you, it's because they are happy you are making the journey. The same can be from total strangers, believe it or not, there are truly good people out there. Everyone else doesn't matter.

celebrity328 · May 2012

I struggle with this also I have lost almost 70 lbs and sometimes when people go on about it i really feel they are saying OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW FAT YOU WERE... I know that thats not what they mean but sometimes they carry on I almost wonder lol. I just say thank you and try to change the subject. Most my family is overweight so I have found asking them about their diet shuts them up really fast

How to handle compliments

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