I am reaching out...PLEASE HELP!!!

futurefitgirl
futurefitgirl Posts: 18
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone. I am really going out on a limb here, but it is time...

A quick history. Something clicked in my mind almost two years ago and I decided I was going to get fit. I lost 113 lbs in 8 months. I was on a roll and I thought that NOTHING could stop me. I was planning on becoming a personal trainer.

It has now been one year since I got off track and I have not been able to get back on. I am not looking for motivation here today. I am seriously seeking support and HELP. I have been a binge eater as long as I can remember and I thought I had rid myself of this horrible habit. Unfortunately for the last year it has come back and I have no idea what has triggered it. I have gained 30 lbs back in the last year.

I was SO happy during that time when I was losing weight and getting healthy. I was actually fit and I had so much energy. I am literally killing myself now. I am a single mother of 3 small kids and I don't have any energy at the end of the day to even give them a bath. THIS IS RUINING MY LIFE!!!! I can't stop. I just can't stop eating. I tell myself as I am eating to stop it and I tell myself not to do it in the first place, but it is like there is something else controling me. I am sure I sound crazy, but I know that someone somewhere knows what I am going through.

Please, any advice or help that anyone can offer will be so appreciated. This has to stop before it does end up killing me. I can literally feel my body getting sick. As I type this I feel like I am crazy, but I am not, I just have a disorder and I need help. Thank you for listening. I can't believe I just put this out there like that. It is my secret, but I have to let people know so that hopefully I can end it.

:brokenheart:

Replies

  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
    I'm not a professional therapist, but you need to figure out why you're overeating. There's probably a reason, even if you're not aware of it. Can you talk to a therapist or counselor about it? I'm sure there are therapists and counselors who specialize in issues with eating.
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
    Consider seeking professional help. A counselor who specializes in this, if your means allow or find an overeaters anonymous meeting and see if that's for you. (it's free)

    Another bit of advice is to start journaling. Carry a small notebook with you all the time, and the next time you feel the binge monster coming on, start writing. Write whatever pops into your head for two-three pages. What I learned by doing this is the desire to binge coincided for me with a desire to have a negative emotion (ie: anger, frustration, sadness).

    I am a firm believer that you have to find out what's underneath the problem to fix it.:heart:
  • Biggestloserfan
    Biggestloserfan Posts: 123
    I did go through this for a long time. I finally quit buying the stuff that triggered my binges. The only thing I have in my house to eat is natural and organic items and fresh fruit and veggies to snack on. If I have any sweets or even bad carbs in the house I binge on them until they are gone. I also consulted my physician and was set up with a dietitian to help with this process. Try to seek help most hospitals and doctor clinics have a support group that meets weekly to help with this process as well. One day I just decided I had enough and went through all of my cabinets and tossed all the food that I would binge on which left really nothing so I went and started buying healthy stuff. I don't even enter into the aisles in the middle of the store anymore. I go through the perimeter where all the veggies, meat, and fruits and produce are and then leave the store so I am not tempted by the new neat sweet items that look good. This may or may not work for you but I know that I can't have the stuff in the house or I can't stop eating it until it is gone. You can message me anytime for advice or if you need help. I completely understand I have over 100lbs to lose but I have started losing them and have already lost 17lbs this summer.
    Take care and I can feel your pain!!
    Tonya
  • jojogirl
    jojogirl Posts: 99
    You need to seek therapy first of all, for your health and for your children's sake. Please go. I feel the desperation in your words and it pains me to read. If you are surrounded by ANYONE that will take some of the load off of you I would take the help as well. Such as, doing your food shopping so that only healthy foods are bought, cooking it for your family perhaps. Not going out with extra cash if that helps so as not to buy fast foods. At least until you can slowly get back to where you NEED to be, during regular therapy of course.
    God Bless,
    ~M~
    {{{Good thoughts and vibes to you...}}}
  • mablesyrup
    mablesyrup Posts: 286 Member
    I agree with the first posters.. You should seek professional help.

    Over eating/binging is a symptom of a food addiction. You are using the food to fill a void you feel in your life- so until you can figure out what the void is- and find another way to constructively allieviate it- you will continue to over-eat. Overeating is no different than other eating disorders- and addictions to alcohol/drugs/cigarettes etc....

    So since you cannot figure out the root- I would suggest seeking some professional help. Look around and find someone who has the same view as over-eating (ie you don't want someone who believes that it's all inherited in your genes, if thats not what you believe)..
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    I have been binge eating most of my life, and just like you, when I think I have it under control, it comes back full force. Right now (yet again) I feel like I have it under control. I still binge occasionally- usually on sweets, but I seem to always be able to get back on track. In the past, one binge would completely undermine all of my efforts, and the "diet" would be over, and it would be months or years before I would feel strong enough to try again.

    This time around, my focus for weight loss has become mainly about health. I'm tired of feeling like crap, and I know getting the weight off is the first step to feeling better. If I get the urge to binge, I will try to distract myself, but, as you know, that urge to eat usually persists. If the urge doesn't go away, I will fix myself a snack consisting of a few different things- cereal, fruit, toast, cheese, etc. It may put me over my calories by a few hundred for the day, but I find that having a reasonable amount of several different things often relieves the strong urge to binge eat.

    If worse comes to worst, and you binge eat, try burning off some of the calories, and then try to get back on track at the next meal or the next day. The fact is, large amounts of food really do not make anything better, and in fact only make things worse. If you can start to convince yourself of that fact, then the urge to binge will lessen a little. Focus on your goals, and the reasons why you don't want to be overweight. Think of your health, and how great it feels to be healthy as opposed to carrying around 100 extra pounds.

    There's a lot of self-talk involved in overcoming any obsessive or addictive behaviour, but what it really comes down to is just not giving in and learning to deal with the anxiety associated with that. Exercise plays a big part for me as well. Some days I will workout twice and burn 1000 calories just so I can have that extra food. Calories in vs. calories out. If you want to eat it, you have to earn it or burn it off after the fact.

    Good luck. :smile:
  • jerzgrl03
    jerzgrl03 Posts: 15 Member
    First off, congratulations on reaching out for help and taking advantage of the wonderful gift that is MFP!
    I can relate to your struggles with binge eating or as I call it compulsive overeating. I have gained and lost weight over and over but always return to my unhealthy ways. For me, the turning point was joining a 12 step group for overeaters. It has really brought me the support and peace I need, to help me stick with my healthy eating plan and to get to a healthier place.

    If you are interested in more info on my 12 step group, message me privately and I will share all that I can! Either way, glad you are here and know that you are not alone!!

    ~Brenda
  • futurefitgirl
    futurefitgirl Posts: 18
    Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. The first step for me is to take the advice of journaling. Second, I am scheduled to start a weight loss support group at my church on Oct. 1st. I believe I will have the opportunity to address this issue assuming I have the courage to admit it. I think I do tho, considering I have put it out there here. I know it is different to stand up and admit it in front of people, but either way, I am ready! The third thing I will do is the over eaters support group. I know we have one near me because I have looked them up before. I have had a little bit of counceling but not much. That will be my last resort if these other 3 things do not work.

    Thank you all again so much. I am going to beat this! I know what it feels like to be healthy and I want that forever. I feel so horrible and unhealthy right now. It is miserable. I am already feeling a little better :)
  • vhuber
    vhuber Posts: 8,779 Member
    Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. The first step for me is to take the advice of journaling. Second, I am scheduled to start a weight loss support group at my church on Oct. 1st. I believe I will have the opportunity to address this issue assuming I have the courage to admit it. I think I do tho, considering I have put it out there here. I know it is different to stand up and admit it in front of people, but either way, I am ready! The third thing I will do is the over eaters support group. I know we have one near me because I have looked them up before. I have had a little bit of counceling but not much. That will be my last resort if these other 3 things do not work.

    Thank you all again so much. I am going to beat this! I know what it feels like to be healthy and I want that forever. I feel so horrible and unhealthy right now. It is miserable. I am already feeling a little better :)
    I want to let you know that "WE" at my fitness pal care about you and that you have NO reason to feel bad about admitting to something soooo many of us have done! What has helped me the most was not just attending support groups but I went and had ALL my hormones tested and found out what a mess they were! My kids said they always knew something wasn't right!LOL But I think back to all the times I would have my ups and downs (happy, sad, positive, negative, enegetic and wiped out) and what a mess I was but NOW things are finally coming around!! So many times I eat way too much or just not the right food and would MAKE myself go run it off!! That was NOT healthy either!! I want you to know if you just need anyone to post to I am always on here reading!!
    My hugs go out to ya honey!
    vhuber
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    I want to let you know that "WE" at my fitness pal care about you and that you have NO reason to feel bad about admitting to something soooo many of us have done...

    Agreed. I speak freely about things here that I wouldn't talk about anywhere else, because so many here are going through the exact same things.
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