Splitting money

myurav · May 2012

hey everyone,

okay, so i just want to run this scenario by you guys because i need some outside opinions.

so my brother has been married for three years, and while his wife is nice enough, there were some family issues and basically, we're not best of friends - we see each other at family functions, and are cordial, but that's just about it. she just moved back to england to start a job (she's british), and my brother is moving there for the summer to start his job.

my younger sister asked us to buy her tickets to a concert for her birthday, so we agreed (my brother, my other sister and i) that we would contribute and my brother said that his wife would chip in as well. now, the tickets were around $220, and i bought them expecting to pay more (which i decided would be okay because i have money saved up). so i sent out an email to my brother, his wife and my sister that said that they could chip in $40 each and that would be good.

my brother then emails me back with "you mean $40 for me and my wife, right? not each"...and now i'm annoyed. the other thing is that both my sister and i are not fully employed, so we don't have too much disposable income, while both he and his wife have full-time jobs. and i know that sometimes couples are considered as 'one person', but $40 between the both of them seems cheap. now, to be fair, they also don't know how much the tickets actually cost (we originally estimated the tickets to cost around $80-90 each), but i didn't want to make a big deal out of me paying more.

i talked to my sister about it and she said that maybe we can ask them to contribute $60 between the both of them. what do you guys think? if you are in a couple, how do you split presents? when i was with my b/f, we would chip in an appropriate amount from two people. does a couple now count as one entity? ack! opinions are welcome.

LuneBleu85 · May 2012

Money is so tricky.... I would flat out ask them both to contribute the same amount, it's really only fair. They are not 1 person. That's just me.

On a random side note about money....I Iived with one of my best friends two years ago. I own the house and she told me that she couldn't afford more than 350 a month for rent. I gathered that if she couldn't afford more than that she must be in a tough spot so I would help her out. I had to work 2 jobs to make ends meet, I noticed that she rarely worked and found out that she had inherited 100,000. Moral of the story is - people are cheap a*holes!

wolverine66 · May 2012

and my brother said that his wife would chip in as well.

If he said she would "chip in as well" that implies, to me, that she would be adding extra money. Otherwise what would be the point of making that distinction?

I would probably try to push back a little (depending on the relationship you have with your brother) and say something like - "i thought when you said that she was going to chip in, that she would have an equal part."

then propose the $60.

if he's going to be a baby about it, I would probably be frustrated to the point of telling him to keep his money all together, but you may not have a choice like that.

christine24t · May 2012

my brother said that his wife would chip in as well.

If he said this, I would take to imply to split the tickets four ways. You are in the right. I would explain to your brother that because he said his wife would chip in, you assumed that they would be split four ways. Maybe ask if they could pay a little more and you could get them back later with a meal or something, or pay them back. It should've been clarified before you bought them, but like you, I would have assumed to split it four ways.

CandaceyD · May 2012

I would just tell them why you nee them both to pay up. Simply put, that couples as one person thing only works for Christmas, Mothers/Fathers day and wedding presents. The rest of the time it's crap.

va_va_voom · May 2012

hey everyone,

okay, so i just want to run this scenario by you guys because i need some outside opinions.

so my brother has been married for three years, and while his wife is nice enough, there were some family issues and basically, we're not best of friends - we see each other at family functions, and are cordial, but that's just about it. she just moved back to england to start a job (she's british), and my brother is moving there for the summer to start his job.

my younger sister asked us to buy her tickets to a concert for her birthday, so we agreed (my brother, my other sister and i) that we would contribute and my brother said that his wife would chip in as well. now, the tickets were around $220, and i bought them expecting to pay more (which i decided would be okay because i have money saved up). so i sent out an email to my brother, his wife and my sister that said that they could chip in $40 each and that would be good.

my brother then emails me back with "you mean $40 for me and my wife, right? not each"...and now i'm annoyed. the other thing is that both my sister and i are not fully employed, so we don't have too much disposable income, while both he and his wife have full-time jobs. and i know that sometimes couples are considered as 'one person', but $40 between the both of them seems cheap. now, to be fair, they also don't know how much the tickets actually cost (we originally estimated the tickets to cost around $80-90 each), but i didn't want to make a big deal out of me paying more.

i talked to my sister about it and she said that maybe we can ask them to contribute $60 between the both of them. what do you guys think? if you are in a couple, how do you split presents? when i was with my b/f, we would chip in an appropriate amount from two people. does a couple now count as one entity? ack! opinions are welcome.

I would have determined the amount being chipped in ahead of time to avoid confusion. That said, maybe he is asking for clarification - and would be entirely OK with $40 each. Have you asked him or clarified for him?

Splitting money

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