husband wants me to GAIN 10lbs!

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turningstar
turningstar Posts: 393 Member
in Motivation and Support
This is how the conversation went...

Me:" Check this out! Im a size 7 now! Do these shorts look okay?"

Him: " You would really look better if you put on about 10 pounds. Your legs look scrawny." (My thighs are 21.5" in the middle)

Me:"Well you would look better with ripped abs". (Okay, I didn't say it, but I did think it) "that's half of what I've lost! The only way im putting on 10 pounds is if its muscle or boobs!"

Anyone else deal with this with their spouse?

Replies

  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    Don't pay attention to other people. Spouse or not. You're the one in your body, not them.
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
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    My fiance always says that I shouldn't lose too much weight. He says he doesn't want me looking like Kate Moss...haha He can be so dramatic...

    As for your hubby...I would have definitely said the ripped abs remark to him after his comment! I am sure you look great and I am sure he thinks you are great too. :)
  • ChristaFall
    ChristaFall Posts: 72 Member
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    My boyfriend said a couple years ago that I looked "too skinny" when I lost about 10 pounds..now, I weigh less that I did then BUT I put on a lot of muscle and he likes it :-) Last night when I came home from my weight class he said I looked "buff". So yeah, just put on more muscle and I'm sure you will get tons of compliments..a size 7 is GREAT!
  • momof8munchkins
    momof8munchkins Posts: 1,167 Member
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    Me! when me and my husband were engaged.. I had been on a diet before we started dating. In the course of our courtship I lost a ton of inches, weight and sizes.. I got the point of almost being the size I was in high school and really liking they way I was starting to look.. a month before our wedding he told me to stop losing weight.. because I was getting TOO small. lol it turned out to be a non issue because a few months after we were married I was pregnant and have not been the same size since.. sigh!
  • blessingsx2
    blessingsx2 Posts: 119 Member
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    Hmmm I'm afraid I wouldn't speak to him for awhile after all that hard work. (Unless I was under weight n really needed the 10lbs) my husband, for the most part, is very supportive. The only thing he doesn't like is me having to buy new pants all the time :)
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    he is your husband. therefore, he is in charge.

    do what he says.

    now, get in the kitchen.

    chop chop!!!
  • arojas1227
    arojas1227 Posts: 56 Member
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    My husband always tells me not to lose too much weight, but I would definitely be offended if he said my legs were "scrawny". That kind of wording just doesn't seem like it's coming from a good place.
  • 202685tracy
    202685tracy Posts: 42 Member
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    Why didn't you say that to him!?
  • Anayalata
    Anayalata Posts: 391 Member
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    he is your husband. therefore, he is in charge.

    do what he says.

    now, get in the kitchen.

    chop chop!!!

    Amen.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    Who wouldn't look better with 10lbs of extra muscle?
  • karen0214
    karen0214 Posts: 120 Member
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    This is how the conversation went...

    Me:" Check this out! Im a size 7 now! Do these shorts look okay?"

    Him: " You would really look better if you put on about 10 pounds. Your legs look scrawny." (My thighs are 21.5" in the middle)

    Me:"Well you would look better with ripped abs". (Okay, I didn't say it, but I did think it) "that's half of what I've lost! The only way im putting on 10 pounds is if its muscle or boobs!"

    Anyone else deal with this with their spouse?

    Weelllll, I think he could have expressed his opinion in a better/kinder way, BUT, you did ask for his opinion.....
  • gaia3rd
    gaia3rd Posts: 151
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    Folks, he didn't ask for her opinion, she asked him for his, then wanted to beat him up when it wasn't what she wanted to hear. Yes, he was definitely less than supportive, but it's never a good idea to ask a question if you're not prepared for an answer you won't like.
  • j1wright
    j1wright Posts: 286 Member
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    In all honesty your husband is probably just not used to seeing you looking the way you do now. He probably didn't mean it to be mean. Honestly he probably didn't think you looked bad with the extra weight on you which is actually kind of nice to know that you don't have an ahole of a husband who thinks you need to be a size 0. He is also probably a tad bit jealous since is sounds like he might need to lose weight himself. Don't take it too personal.

    Congrat's on the size 7!!! Huge accomplishment!
  • turningstar
    turningstar Posts: 393 Member
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    I actually thought it was a little funny that he said that. I guess he just likes meaty legs on a woman, because he is super supportive of me getting in shape.
  • reneeileen
    reneeileen Posts: 455 Member
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    Me and my husband have had very candid conversations about my weight loss efforts. Our agreement is that my body is mine and I need to do what makes me happy and healthy. He will support me in my goals as long as they are healthy. He asks that I don't push him too hard to take on my habits and that I respect his wishes not to eat some of the things I eat.

    Sometimes one of us will say something that upsets the other and when that happens we call each other out on it. In that type of situation I would just say that it hurt my feelings and I'm happy with my progress. Chances are he just spoke without thinking.
  • GemmaM_x
    GemmaM_x Posts: 324 Member
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    Me and my husband have had very candid conversations about my weight loss efforts. Our agreement is that my body is mine and I need to do what makes me happy and healthy. He will support me in my goals as long as they are healthy. He asks that I don't push him too hard to take on my habits and that I respect his wishes not to eat some of the things I eat.

    This is exactly the relationship I have with my partner. I'm in the mind-set where I am ready to do this and really meet my goals. Although he knows he can stand to lose a few pounds, he's not ready yet and as such, I won;y push him as I know how difficult it is when you're just not ready :)
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    He didn't mean it the way he said it. He probably meant gaining muscle. I bet you look fine :) I was 125 lbs 6 years ago and I was in a size 4. After I got married almost 5 years ago hubby made sure I ate like every 5 mins hahaha...and I gained 50 lbs. I am trying to lose right now a little less than half what I gained. He is helping me with my weight loss cause we want to get pregnant next year! :) He knows a lot about nutrition and fitness, he was in the National Guard for 6 years, and he lost 100+ lbs before basic training.

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