Puzzling

dogacreek · May 2012

I have lost 83 pounds and plan to lose another 36. I have just started wearing more fitted clothes and am getting a lot of compliments. I also receive several questions as to how more am I going to lose. When I tell them, a lot of them tell me not to lose that much more and to stop now. I weigh 161 and was aiming for 125. I'm 5'3", so I don't feel that is an unreasonable goal. I want to lose another 5 inches off my hips and reduce my thighs also. I do zumba 3 times a week, walk 2 times weekly and am currently doing JM Ripped in 30 Days.

I am truly puzzled as to why people want me to stop losing weight now and not complete my journey. What can I say to them (nicely)?

laineyluma · May 2012

I hear the exact same thing. I guess they don't realize how much I weigh? I carry most of mine in my hips and thighs and have a thinner upper body so maybe they arent looking at my bottom half?

liog · May 2012

I'd say "If you think I look great now, just wait until you see me after I lose another 30 pounds. I'm gonna be smokin'!"

I don't know why people say the crap they say. Maybe they're jealous. Maybe there is such a drastic difference that they can't picture you with more weight loss. I don't think your goal is outrageous.

Tonnina · May 2012

I think that's quite rude of them... I'd tell them it's your body and you can do what you wish with it, including getting yourself down to a healthy weight!

majones_orl · May 2012

I would say something like...."hummm OK", that not committing one way or another.

I think they are jeaslous. Kill them with kindness and keep thinking wait till you see me when I lose another 30 lbs.

5'3, 120 lbs sounds about right. Bottom line, you have worked hard, and if that is what you want, go for it, and forget about all the nay sayers.

dogacreek · May 2012

Some of the people who tell me to stop losing, are overweight by probably 30 to 40 pounds. I can understand those people telling me this because, I will then weight a whole lot less than they do. That is a concept they can't wrap their head around. The slim people are the puzzling ones to me.

I guess I will have to stop telling people the number of pounds left and just tell them I will stop when I am at a "healthy" weight.

guppygirl322 · May 2012

People are idiots and will always say stupid things. I still marvel at how, when I was really sick last year, dropped a ton of weight, could barely eat, felt like death, was as pale as a ghost and everyone kept telling me how great I looked!

_AllieCat_ · May 2012

I think people honestly think you look great the way you are. If I were you, I would politely tell them I know I look good with clothes on, but I want to look even better naked! Haha, or not. Just do what makes you happy, don't worry about what other people think.

dogacreek · May 2012

People are idiots and will always say stupid things. I still marvel at how, when I was really sick last year, dropped a ton of weight, could barely eat, felt like death, was as pale as a ghost and everyone kept telling me how great I looked!

I'm just shaking my head. One of my co-workers commented how good I was looking and then he asked if I was "okay".

carld256 · May 2012

I heard the same thing from a Doctor of all people. We were going over my latest test results and he was saying how good I was doing then stopped and looked at my numbers again. He said "You might be losing too much weight."

I lifted up my shirt, revealing my still large, round belly and said. "Nah, I don't think so."

kdeaux1959 · May 2012

I think that we as Americans have been far too accepting of overweight as "normal"... It is not as much how we look as how healthy we are. As long as your body fat is sufficient for your age and build and you are not trying to lower your bmi less than 18 or so you should do what you feel most comfortable with... Then continue to tone... As for the nay-sayers... I'd basically ignore them... I think they really are not necessarily jealous but rather have an unhealthy concept of what a healthy weight is....

kdeaux1959 · May 2012

I heard the same thing from a Doctor of all people. We were going over my latest test results and he was saying how good I was doing then stopped and looked at my numbers again. He said "You might be losing too much weight."

I lifted up my shirt, revealing my still large, round belly and said. "Nah, I don't think so."

I don't know your situation but is it possible he meant that you were losing too fast?

EAlexandraB · May 2012

I have lost 83 pounds and plan to lose another 36. I have just started wearing more fitted clothes and am getting a lot of compliments. I also receive several questions as to how more am I going to lose. When I tell them, a lot of them tell me not to lose that much more and to stop now. I weigh 161 and was aiming for 125. I'm 5'3", so I don't feel that is an unreasonable goal. I want to lose another 5 inches off my hips and reduce my thighs also. I do zumba 3 times a week, walk 2 times weekly and am currently doing JM Ripped in 30 Days.

I am truly puzzled as to why people want me to stop losing weight now and not complete my journey. What can I say to them (nicely)?

The simplest solution would be to just NOT ANSWER questions about how much more you plan to lose. Accept the compliments with thanks, and dismiss the questions by saying you're undecided, or that you're consulting with your doctor about when your weight is ideal for your health, or whatever.

These responses could come from jealousy, "politeness" (not wanting to seem like they think you NEED to lose more), or nothing more than saying something impulsively due to surprise. It's not an uncommon response, however - I have an aunt who will insist that I look "perfect" and should not lose another pound, regardless of my actual weight/size. *shrug*

JesterMFP · May 2012

I have been told the same thing at about the same weight (I'm also 5' 3"). In my case, it was people who care about me and were pleased for my loss, I don't think jealousy had anything to do with it. I think it probably comes from the fact that we are so used to seeing overweight people that a lot of us now have a slightly skewed perspective of what "healthy" looks like. Plus, they are used to seeing you as a bigger person. You obviously look very different now from when you started. They think you look great now, but maybe can't imagine what you'd look like 36 pounds lighter. For many of us, it takes our brains some time to catch up with our bodies in terms of how we think we look. Maybe it's the same for those around us who are used to us at a bigger size.

125 is a perfectly reasonable target for your height, depending on what your body fat percentage is. I'm sure that they will think you look even better when you get there. As for what to say, I usually just say that I'm not interested in being too skinny, but that I'm just trying to get as healthy as possible and that at my current weight, I'm still medically overweight. People usually accept that. Some of them mutter that well, "technically" they're overweight too... Gives them something to think about I guess!

dogacreek · May 2012

I think JesterMFP hit it with the post "For many of us, it takes our brains some time to catch up with our bodies in terms of how we think we look. Maybe it's the same for those around us who are used to us at a bigger size." Also it is true that society has accepted being overweight as the new norm.

I appreciate everyone's comments. I think I will just start telling people that I haven't decided and will stop when I feel comfortable and healthy. I doubt that will satisfy some people, but I will just have to tell them not to worry about me being too skinny.

ishtar13 · May 2012

Don't tell them.

Seriously.

It's not their business.

Tell them something like, "When my doctor is comfortable with my loss," or something like that.

JDKD82199 · May 2012

When I hear this from my coworkers I say, "I might look good in my clothes but you don't have to see me naked".

dogacreek · May 2012

I hear the exact same thing. I guess they don't realize how much I weigh? I carry most of mine in my hips and thighs and have a thinner upper body so maybe they arent looking at my bottom half?

You must be my twin!

tabulator32 · May 2012

Don't say a word to them.

Just look at them with a "What-in-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you" look, shake your head, and walk away.

You are doing this for you, not for them.

I had a few people in my office telling me I was "wasting away" and I "need to stop" and I would "gain it all back, just wait and see."

Then, after I stuck with it and maintained my weight, a lot of people came up to me and said things like "Your weight loss is amazing!" and "You look great!" and "What's your secret?!"

It struck me that a lot of the earlier people were just not used to seeing me at a healthy weight. They just wanted to see me as they were ACCUSTOMED to seeing me...with what they were familiar with.

You do you and let them be them.

Nana_Booboo · May 2012

i think if it was me when asked how much more I want to lose, I'd just say "not much more". I don't know why people say that and I kinda think it's their way of saying you look great (as in a compliment that goes south)

Good luck on your journey.

imreadii2011 · May 2012

Just take it as a compliment and continue on your journey. It's not that serious.

Sarah_Wins · May 2012

If I ever said that to a friend, it wouldn't be from jealousy or a misguided sense it what's acceptable, it would be simply that curvy women are beautiful! I'm quickly reaching a point in my figure where I won't want to lose any more of my hourglass figure, but you can be damn sure that I am healthy and can kick your *kitten* too! :happy:

When I tell people how much more I need to lose to reach what's considered my ideal weight for my height and build, they look me up and down with a puzzled face and ask where the hell do I plan to lose it from? They don't see an extra 50 lbs on me, and that is definitely a compliment!

Puzzling

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