does anyone understand me?!?

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i feel so alone in real life... my friends just dont understand my problems... they get my school problems and that i am anxious about school... end of semester stuff... but thats the least of my problems and they dont get that!!! i struggle with closet eating and binging, i struggle with the lack of motivation to work out... i struggle with self-sabatoge and my skinny friends just dont understand me! and i dont even want to talk to them about it b.c they will pretend to feel bad but they have no idea... i feel so alone and depressed and i feel like im gonna be alone my whole life b.c no one loves a fat ugly girl! all my good friends are getting married or dating and i feel like i will forever be the fat single girl :( i know this is not the right mentality but i cant help but feel this way... i really REALLY need support right now... i feel like i might be better off dead... but i know thats just bc im so upset right now... i need help! please! thanks guys!
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Replies

  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
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    I don't pretend to know what you are going through- but remember you aren't the only one who feels this way.
    Your life is a gift- don't waste it!
    There are a lot of different groups on mfp some for over eaters, really all sorts of people..have a look through and join some. You might find someone in a similar situation.
    Please try to stay positive, and seek help , although you may feel it, you are not alone.
    The first step is to find help. There will be many, many people on mfp that totally understand you.
    There is a group call how I lost 100 lbs...have a look in there, if not there don't be discouraged. Fight the good fight- don't give up!
    Take care.
    Good luck!:flowerforyou:
  • shonovo
    shonovo Posts: 104
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    thank u so much for your response... i will look thru the groups to find the support i need... thank u for caring about me!
  • christynek
    christynek Posts: 152 Member
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    The fact that you are on here trying means you are STRONG! You are right, they probably don't understand what you are going through, but there are people here who do understand. You are not alone!!! Just take it a day at a time, and trust me, you are beautiful!
  • sjanbrown
    sjanbrown Posts: 8 Member
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    Your never alone, and you need to remember different friends are there for different reasons.Let the people on here be there for you for your weight loss. Remember that you have to love yourself before you can let somebody else love you, and there is somebody out there that will love you for YOU.
  • PrfctGdess
    PrfctGdess Posts: 257
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    Try to take it one day at a time. No, scratch that, one decision at a time. Don't worry about "I have XX to lose", think about going for a 15 minute walk. Or doing 10 jumping jacks. Or drinking a glass of water instead of soda. Little choices. Slowly, those little choices will turn into habits, those little habits will get bigger, and you will get smaller. :)

    God loves you for who you are, and no one else's opinion matters. :P You are NOT alone!! There are a bunch of us here to support you, and the Internet is 24/7. When you feel like binge eating, make yourself get on here first, or start reading healthy recipes, or success stories... you'll find some motivation somewhere. You're definitely not alone! YOU CAN DO IT!!
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    I understand! Your friends don't understand cause they haven't gone through what you are going through right now. People here know how you feel cause we all been through it. When I feel like I don't have motivation hubby makes me get up and get my walk in :P My hubby and my mom are the only ones that support me in real life.
  • baycat107
    baycat107 Posts: 165 Member
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    We all have struggles with overeating, not wanting to workout, etc. I get so frustrated with myself on some days. I get depressed and feel like giving up, but I don't. Every day is a new beginning. You just got to keep trying. Maybe you could find someone to workout with, someone just to walk with. It really helps motivation, having someone to workout with. I met one of my very best life long friends while walking, 20 years ago! You're a cute girl with a great smile. Just remember every day is a new day, and you can make it a great day. :)
  • alm104
    alm104 Posts: 2
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    1st, you are so very lovely and need to stop saying you are the "fat, ugly" girl because that is not what I see!!! 2nd, as many people have said, you are here and trying, so you are not alone. We are all here for one reason or another! I am a mom of 2 who is very short and holds weight very easily. I understand how you feel! I have struggled with my weight for years. I also go to school and work. Lots of irons in my fire, so I am the last person I pay attention to. Big hugs and I am here for you!
  • kellyo15
    kellyo15 Posts: 51
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    I can't say that I understand from a personal standpoint but I just want you to know that I hear you and I believe in you! Don't think of it as self-sabotage, but more as an option that didn't fit for you. There are tons of options for ways to get healthy, tons of healthy foods and activities of all styles, you just haven't found what works best for YOU yet. I feel like calling it self-sabotage will help you beat yourself up about it more, because "sabotage" implies that you are doing it intentionally, and I am sure that you aren't. I think the suggestion to look through the groups for people like yourself is a great idea. And if you stumble along the way, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again, you'll get there! You will find what works best for you if you are determined enough to make the change. Best of luck to you.
  • Michelleypoo82
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    You have friends on here who care about you! Please join the groups and keep up the good work. You are so worth it! <3
  • jamierizzo
    jamierizzo Posts: 36 Member
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    I'm like you, none of my friends understand me, so I don't tell them much. I love MFP because everyone seems to understand and they care. I am on here all the time reading all kinds of stuff and learning so much. I'm still learning everyday. It will get better :flowerforyou:
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
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    you believe whatever you feed yourself. feed yourself good things, and encourage yourself. pity parties amount to absolutely nothing. i can understand thinking you'll be alone, but in time. trust me, you don't want just anyone nor do you want to settle b/c then you'll be really unhappy. don't expect anyone to love you more than you love yourself either, it just won't work. you're here working on yourself, and that's half the battle. you are a very pretty girl, and that's not just "talk" don't worry about your friends and their lives, you're your own person, and must live for yourself. their situations are their own. just b/c they're in relationships doesn't say anything good/bad about you as a person. we all binge eat, well i do, still do 70pounds later. sometimes i don't exercise, go figure. but guess what? you're LEARNING to undo bad habits, and that takes TIME, b/c it is a process :) you'll be fine. please excuse the abuse of commas, haha. :laugh:
  • shonovo
    shonovo Posts: 104
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    WOW! i actually started bawling from all the supportive words u have each written me! i truly appreciate you taking the time to write to me and i hope to get into a losing happy state.. i found this comfort eater anonymous group and made some new friends on here that have strangely similar struggles to me so i am truly speechless from all this incredible support, it really means the world t me!
  • mom2mozart
    mom2mozart Posts: 307 Member
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    First of all, from your photos, you are a beautiful girl. You appear to be overweight, but are still very attractive. In my opinion, your problem is more with your self-concept and lack of self-esteem than with your appearance. I was fortunate to be thin as a child, teen, and young adult. I didn't start gaining until I was in my 30's... But, what it comes down to is: you are struggling with your weight, and I get that... Many of us do. That is why we are here.

    You can do this. It will be tough at times, but certainly not as tough as feeling terrible about yourself and living with those self-destructive thoughts.

    My advice: Take each day at a time, each meal at a time, and soon you will be seeing results. Try to stay within the parameters MFP sets for you, or close to them each day.

    I didn't think I would be able to do this. I knew that I'd be able to lose some, but thought I'd plateau along the way and lose my motivation. I've only had 2 weeks that I didn't see real progress - since 2/1/2012. I've lost 27 pounds - which has me in a healthy BMI range. I've surpassed my original goal weight and am working down to a comfort cushion zone. I'd like to have a healthier shape (less belly fat)... I've gone down from nearly a size 14 pants to a size 8 pants. Most of my loss is attributed to modifying my eating. I exercise a few times each week - but am not hard core. I exercise primarly so that I can eat more. If I'm hungry, know I'll be eating out, or have gone over for the day - I try to correct it with exercise to earn more calories.

    You are free to look at my diary - it is open to the public.

    Some of the things that I've read since being here which resonate with me are:
    "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" - and - "Everything you put into your mouth will put you one step closer or one step further away from your goal."

    You are in control of your destiny, you are in control of what you eat. Wise decisions can last a lifetime. You have a whole lifetime ahead of you. You are young. You can do this!!!
  • majones_orl
    majones_orl Posts: 195 Member
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    You have come to the right place. You will find all kinds of people here. Some are good and some are bad. Mostly good. You can share your struggles, and there will be someone with experiences, some similiar life experiences like you.

    I identify with you so much. Forturnately I am not in school, mine applies to work.

    Remember as in every day life you have folk who say thing you don't like, learn to ignore those and move on. It is all a part of life.

    Please add me as friends, if you help me, I will help you, DEAL.

    Margaret
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    You are not alone! You are here and you have us. You also have your wonderful self who wants to help YOU!

    Do what some of the others said and search the forums. Add some motivating friends from here. It should be easy to find others who share your same issues. I'm one of them! Add me if you'd like. I'd love to help motivate you!
    Start moving. I finally 'saw the light' and just started walking one day. Actually it was Christmas Eve last year! I started out walking at a comfortable pace, one I knew I'd enjoy and want to do again. Pretty much what most would call a 'stroll'. The next day, I walked again. Then I started walking longer, then even longer, then a bit faster. It wasn't easy sometimes but it didn't take long to start seeing results! My clothes fit better, it was easier to walk upstairs, easier to tie my shoes, etc., etc. Eventually I changed my diet by replacing unhealthy, high calorie foods with healthier and even better tasting foods!
    Since I started my first little walk in Dec. 2011, I have lost 33lbs and inches and inches of fat off my body. I feel so much happier and guess what? Now I'm not the fattest girl in the crowd. I can't say I have more confidence when I go out, because I always felt confident, but I do have more fun!

    YOU CAN DO THIS! <big hugs>
  • Zara11
    Zara11 Posts: 1,247 Member
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    I looked at that huge smile in your profile picture and all i can say is that when you feel beautiful inside, you will see beauty when you look in the mirror. i see it in that smile of yours, but i want YOU to see it, too. what makes YOU feel happy? What are the little steps YOU can take to feel better, so that when you feel happy you make better food and exercise choices? Make a list and put them all over your apartment. Print out the responses here that make you feel happy and tape them up all over, too.

    If you want suggestions/ want to talk about fun little things to perk up, DM me :)
  • shonovo
    shonovo Posts: 104
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    what would make me feel happy is looking at myself in the mirror and liking what i see... fitting into a crowd and not being the enourmous one in the group... i would love the day when my smile isnt fake! when i have a good clean eating day, with working out i am happy... but for some reason something in my body not sure what hinders me from doing so... i know i need to stand above it!

    thank you guys soooooo much for ur responses they mean the world to me!!
  • butterflylover527
    butterflylover527 Posts: 940 Member
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    What else bothers me is when my skinny friend are like "oh, I'm soo fat! I need to lose some weight!!" uhhh..,.if you're "fat", what does that make me?

    They don't understand what you're going through cause they haven't had to struggle like you. The other day I realized, I'm happy. I'd rather fight for soething and feel accomplished than to be born skinny. I work every day and it shows!!

    You are meant to be here and you'll make it through and live life to the fullest, just keep going!!!
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    what would make me feel happy is looking at myself in the mirror and liking what i see... fitting into a crowd and not being the enourmous one in the group... i would love the day when my smile isnt fake! when i have a good clean eating day, with working out i am happy... but for some reason something in my body not sure what hinders me from doing so... i know i need to stand above it!

    thank you guys soooooo much for ur responses they mean the world to me!!

    You are not alone, I'm also used to think about that & I have been in your shoes for a looong time before I get into this stage where I am right now.

    I don't have friends here in real life & even my family doesn't help me either & the only one that truly supports me is my boyfriend who is thousand miles away from me right now. This is also the reason why I keep sticking to MFP aside from tracking my food & exercise for maintenance. Also like what other posters say, you're beautiful & never say that "I'm fat & ugly thing", it won't do you any good. And as for meeting somebody, never rush into things even if you did lose the weight. You'll encounter somebody along the way when the right time comes. That somebody who will love you for who you are regardless of your size.