Jealousy

dollaqie
dollaqie Posts: 74 Member
in Motivation and Support
Oh no, why, why, why.................why do friend start getting jealous if other start complementing you on your weight loss. I have a friend at work that critisize everything about my eating and workout plan. People are complementing me on my weight loss so far and she makes nasty remarks. Feel like strangeling her today..................................!!!!!:mad:

Replies

  • Legals81
    Legals81 Posts: 81 Member
    I think the title of your post says it all - jealousy! Some people like you fat, it makes them feel better about themselves but obviously your not going to stay heavy just to make your friend feel better. Rise above it and take all the compliments that are going, they are what will keep you motivated.
  • janey1306
    janey1306 Posts: 83
    May be she wants you to be her "fat friend" due to her own insecurities or may be she would like to lose weight to and hasnt got the willpower, strength, support or something. Ignore her, or point out whatever you are doing is working for you, if you are like me and cant keep your mouth shut for to long!
  • Microfiber_wechange
    Microfiber_wechange Posts: 640
    A colleague of mine does this a lot. "You need to eat"; "You're too skinny"; "A real woman has curves"; "I love being large" and then I found out she was secretly doing a diet where you eat nothing but juice for 3 months :laugh: :laugh:

    She can't love her curves that much :laugh:
  • AliciaBeth78
    AliciaBeth78 Posts: 437 Member
    I know the feeling! There is one woman at work who made a nasty comment because I turned down a happy hour invite on Friday. She told me, "Just because you're losing weight, doesn't make you healthy!" I so TRIED to be nice....
  • dollaqie
    dollaqie Posts: 74 Member
    The thing is, she lost a lot of weight last year and this was my motivation to start doing something about myself now as well, and now that the weight is dropping she makes nasty remarks...................she was my motivation and now she is my worst nightmare!!!
  • kate23456
    kate23456 Posts: 2
    Dont think about how other people feel think about how good you will feel when you reach your goal! it is so achievable, im going through the same experience with a friend and it makes it much harder but it really is about you not them!
  • MrsBlobs
    MrsBlobs Posts: 310 Member
    I honestly believe that it's all about you inadvertently showing them up for what they aren't doing. I don't think anyone really wants a 'fat friend' well, there are those fetishists but that's another thing entirely...anyway, I don't think wanting you to remain 'fat' is what is going on here, I personally think it's where you are showing them up for not doing all they could do, so rather than getting on the bandwagon with you, they try and tear you down a bit.
    Nothing shows us our flaws like someone who is combating their own.
  • MLgarcia3
    MLgarcia3 Posts: 503
    The thing is, she lost a lot of weight last year and this was my motivation to start doing something about myself now as well, and now that the weight is dropping she makes nasty remarks...................she was my motivation and now she is my worst nightmare!!!

    Sounds like she doesn't want anyone taking the spotlight off of her weight loss success... A real friend would be 100% supportive, all mine are (to my face anyways). Try not to let it get to you! Keep doing what your doing :-)
  • MrsBlobs
    MrsBlobs Posts: 310 Member
    The thing is, she lost a lot of weight last year and this was my motivation to start doing something about myself now as well, and now that the weight is dropping she makes nasty remarks...................she was my motivation and now she is my worst nightmare!!!

    Is she keeping it off though? Or is it creeping back on...?
  • dollaqie
    dollaqie Posts: 74 Member
    Tnx you all make me feel sooo much better........................:smile:
  • delikium
    delikium Posts: 196 Member
    ok just tell her that she's right, and that you are doing it all wrong,
    and that you don't want to do this anymore and you give up
    ...she'll start supporting you again, as she doesn't want to be responsible for you giving up.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    The thing is, she lost a lot of weight last year and this was my motivation to start doing something about myself now as well, and now that the weight is dropping she makes nasty remarks...................she was my motivation and now she is my worst nightmare!!!

    Sounds like she doesn't want anyone taking the spotlight off of her weight loss success... A real friend would be 100% supportive, all mine are (to my face anyways). Try not to let it get to you! Keep doing what your doing :-)

    ^^ this!
  • diddyh
    diddyh Posts: 131 Member
    When someone says something rude or out of line its helpful to respond in return, "Why would you say that to me?"

    It usually makes people very uncomfortable when you do. It should only take a time or two.

    If all else fails tell people you want to be healthy so you can enjoy your grandchildren and retirement some day. That usually works.
  • BandedTriaRN
    BandedTriaRN Posts: 303
    Oh no, why, why, why.................why do friend start getting jealous if other start complementing you on your weight loss. I have a friend at work that critisize everything about my eating and workout plan. People are complementing me on my weight loss so far and she makes nasty remarks. Feel like strangeling her today..................................!!!!!:mad:

    Just tell her that you are losing weight your way, the way your body needs it and then tell her to kindly keep her opinions to herself! but in a very nice way. Another good way is to say "This is the plan the nutritionist made for me and I am suppose to follow it for my body and medical history" and that might shut her up lol. I don't know if it is the "jealousy" issue or that some people like being in control and feel they are "helping you" instead of driving you nuts!
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
    Sorry your co-worker is being a butthead, you're right, she's just jealous. Don't let it get you down and set a good example. If she's a friend she'll eventually come around.
  • nel0311
    nel0311 Posts: 248
    People hate to see you doing better than them....

    Or you are becoming competetion

    :D
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    When someone says something rude or out of line its helpful to respond in return, "Why would you say that to me?"

    It usually makes people very uncomfortable when you do. It should only take a time or two.

    I like using the sentence, "what do you mean by that?" Delivered very innocently. Repeat as necessary while they squirm.
  • Karalopolous
    Karalopolous Posts: 574
    The thing is, she lost a lot of weight last year and this was my motivation to start doing something about myself now as well, and now that the weight is dropping she makes nasty remarks...................she was my motivation and now she is my worst nightmare!!!

    Sounds like she wants the attention all for herself. She did something great like lose weight and now she probably feels like you are horning in on her attention. Not right, but sometimes people can be this way.
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 866 Member
    Sweetie...there are always haters out there!! It is a sad truth..and now you are looking good and she does not like it. My 12 year old said this to me...and so I made it my quote!!

    "Don't Hate-Appreciate, because I let my haters be my motivators!!! :drinker:
  • fatforthewin
    fatforthewin Posts: 33
    When someone says something rude or out of line its helpful to respond in return, "Why would you say that to me?"

    It usually makes people very uncomfortable when you do. It should only take a time or two.

    If all else fails tell people you want to be healthy so you can enjoy your grandchildren and retirement some day. That usually works.

    This ^^

    If I don't blurt something cheeky like, "wow, that was rude," I ask "so, what do you mean," or "why are you saying that". Either way, calling it what it is or asking the person responsible to own their remark, it deflects the attention off of you back to them where it belongs. You are not bad for losing weight. Why should you feel bad about it? If someone wants you to feel bad about something good, they clearly have bad intentions.

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