Having a hard time

Foxypoo61287 · May 2012

Ok, so I kind of wear my

on my sleeve. I like this guy, he is enlisted in the Army & leaves for AFG Thursday. I'm not obsessing over him or anything crazy like that. He said he likes me & he's going to be gone for 10 months. He didn't say "wait for me" or imply he wanted me to. But I promised I'd write him letters. The thing is, that I'm kind of worried that is what will happen. That I might just wait for him to come home. Idk how to distance myself from him so I don't get attached and for the simple fact that he might possibly not come home.Any advice?

lisa_bunny · May 2012

My ex used to be in the army and didn't see him for months on end. Try not to think the worst about him going away. Also, It might sound daft or cliche but I can say 2 things-

1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder... the more you don't see him the more you will pine for him anyway!

2. Keep yourself busy... with friends, exercising, other hobbies it will keep you busy and your mind might be off him, at least for a little while!

digitalbill · May 2012

Ok, so I kind of wear my on my sleeve. I like this guy, he is enlisted in the Army & leaves for AFG Thursday. I'm not obsessing over him or anything crazy like that. He said he likes me & he's going to be gone for 10 months. He didn't say "wait for me" or imply he wanted me to. But I promised I'd write him letters. The thing is, that I'm kind of worried that is what will happen. That I might just wait for him to come home. Idk how to distance myself from him so I don't get attached and for the simple fact that he might possibly not come home.Any advice?

This is going to sound VERY rude and I will apoligise in advance but,
You are worried about YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!!
This guy is going into a war zone.
This might be a good time for you to grow up a little bit and put someone elses needs above yours.

ElizabethRoad · May 2012

Ok, so I kind of wear my on my sleeve. I like this guy, he is enlisted in the Army & leaves for AFG Thursday. I'm not obsessing over him or anything crazy like that. He said he likes me & he's going to be gone for 10 months. He didn't say "wait for me" or imply he wanted me to. But I promised I'd write him letters. The thing is, that I'm kind of worried that is what will happen. That I might just wait for him to come home. Idk how to distance myself from him so I don't get attached and for the simple fact that he might possibly not come home.Any advice?

This is going to sound VERY rude and I will apoligise in advance but,
You are worried about YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!!
This guy is going into a war zone.
This might be a good time for you to grow up a little bit and put someone elses needs above yours.

Lots of people go into war zones every day. That doesn't mean we all stop living our lives.

By the way, apologies don't count if you still do the thing you're apologizing for.

TylerJ76 · May 2012

Ok, so I kind of wear my on my sleeve. I like this guy, he is enlisted in the Army & leaves for AFG Thursday. I'm not obsessing over him or anything crazy like that. He said he likes me & he's going to be gone for 10 months. He didn't say "wait for me" or imply he wanted me to. But I promised I'd write him letters. The thing is, that I'm kind of worried that is what will happen. That I might just wait for him to come home. Idk how to distance myself from him so I don't get attached and for the simple fact that he might possibly not come home.Any advice?

This is going to sound VERY rude and I will apoligise in advance but,
You are worried about YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!!
This guy is going into a war zone.
This might be a good time for you to grow up a little bit and put someone elses needs above yours.

Everyone is entitled to worry about their feelings.
Where did it say she was putting her needs before his?

bigdogc23 · May 2012

There is nothiing wrong with waiting for him so long as it's a mutual thing. He may not have said anything of the sort because us guys in the Army tend to get used to relationships going sour when we are away. Not to say they all don't but it seems to be a common trend. I personally would write him if I were you. If he returns the letters and calls etc you then maybe there is something there. You should be able to tell with the responses he gives you. I would gauge it from there.

bigdogc23 · May 2012

Ok, so I kind of wear my on my sleeve. I like this guy, he is enlisted in the Army & leaves for AFG Thursday. I'm not obsessing over him or anything crazy like that. He said he likes me & he's going to be gone for 10 months. He didn't say "wait for me" or imply he wanted me to. But I promised I'd write him letters. The thing is, that I'm kind of worried that is what will happen. That I might just wait for him to come home. Idk how to distance myself from him so I don't get attached and for the simple fact that he might possibly not come home.Any advice?

This is going to sound VERY rude and I will apoligise in advance but,
You are worried about YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!!
This guy is going into a war zone.
This might be a good time for you to grow up a little bit and put someone elses needs above yours.

Everyone is entitled to worry about their feelings.
Where did it say she was putting her needs before his?

Yea I dont see where she is putting her feelings before someone elses... I think it's an honest question... Some people can be so rude...

Foxypoo61287 · May 2012

Ok, so I kind of wear my on my sleeve. I like this guy, he is enlisted in the Army & leaves for AFG Thursday. I'm not obsessing over him or anything crazy like that. He said he likes me & he's going to be gone for 10 months. He didn't say "wait for me" or imply he wanted me to. But I promised I'd write him letters. The thing is, that I'm kind of worried that is what will happen. That I might just wait for him to come home. Idk how to distance myself from him so I don't get attached and for the simple fact that he might possibly not come home.Any advice?

This is going to sound VERY rude and I will apoligise in advance but,
You are worried about YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!!
This guy is going into a war zone.
This might be a good time for you to grow up a little bit and put someone elses needs above yours.

I know he's going into a war zone. Why do you think I am worried about him? I'm worried. We talked about expectations, what I expect from him and he of me. He told me not to wait, he knows I like him, I know he likes me. He want's to see what happens when he comes home. I don't want to be a worry wart for 10 months & be glued to the tv. He doesn't want ME to live like that. I have promised to write him. Thats about all that I can do. I will be sending pictures & supporting him while he serves this great nation. I don't think in my OP I said omg I can't believe he is doing this to me. Why is he being so selfish... He's such an a**. I think I said I don't want to get attached to him where I'm freaking out over every bombing I hear on tv, or if I go weeks without a letter. I don't want to become a hermit because he is over seas. I just needed some advice. And if you think I am worried about MY FEELINGS...gtfo of my post because clearly you can't read. I'm not self centered.

sazzyp1973 · May 2012

Tell him how you feel before he leaves. I am sure he would love to hear it. Be the one to make the move maybe? Good luck!

Foxypoo61287 · May 2012

There is nothiing wrong with waiting for him so long as it's a mutual thing. He may not have said anything of the sort because us guys in the Army tend to get used to relationships going sour when we are away. Not to say they all don't but it seems to be a common trend. I personally would write him if I were you. If he returns the letters and calls etc you then maybe there is something there. You should be able to tell with the responses he gives you. I would gauge it from there.

we aren't together right now. We talk just about everyday online. He want's to see how it goes when he comes home in 10 months. I myself am getting out of a bad relationship. So we are just going to write each other. I am excited to write him & send him things. I'm just worried I'll get attached, and he will come home and it will be a dud.

digitalbill · May 2012

Well, obviously I misread something.
It appears to me that you are worried about developing feelings for this guy and you are worried about how you will feel if he doesn't make it back.
If I am wrong, I can admit it.

digitalbill · May 2012

There is nothiing wrong with waiting for him so long as it's a mutual thing. He may not have said anything of the sort because us guys in the Army tend to get used to relationships going sour when we are away. Not to say they all don't but it seems to be a common trend. I personally would write him if I were you. If he returns the letters and calls etc you then maybe there is something there. You should be able to tell with the responses he gives you. I would gauge it from there.

we aren't together right now. We talk just about everyday online. He want's to see how it goes when he comes home in 10 months. I myself am getting out of a bad relationship. So we are just going to write each other. I am excited to write him & send him things. I'm just worried I'll get attached, and he will come home and it will be a dud.

OK... so you are worried that the RELATIONSHIP won't work out?
That is a chance that you take with EVERY relationship.
I can tell you this (from experience).
You can have a 99.9% failure rate with relationships however, when you finally have that ONE that works, all of the other failed ones are nothing but history.

BigDaddyBRC · May 2012

Ok, so I kind of wear my on my sleeve. I like this guy, he is enlisted in the Army & leaves for AFG Thursday. I'm not obsessing over him or anything crazy like that. He said he likes me & he's going to be gone for 10 months. He didn't say "wait for me" or imply he wanted me to. But I promised I'd write him letters. The thing is, that I'm kind of worried that is what will happen. That I might just wait for him to come home. Idk how to distance myself from him so I don't get attached and for the simple fact that he might possibly not come home.Any advice?

This is going to sound VERY rude and I will apoligise in advance but,
You are worried about YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!!
This guy is going into a war zone.
This might be a good time for you to grow up a little bit and put someone elses needs above yours.

Coming from a US Army Vet....Grab your waist and pull hard because your well past your shoulders deep in your *kitten*.

Bahet · May 2012

My husband went to Iraq with the National Guard in 2003 for 14 months, Kuwait as a contractor in 2006 for 18 months, Afghanistan as a government civilian for 9 months (2/11-10/11) and is set to go back to Afghanistan in that same role next month for about 6 months. It's hard. Some advice - write letters but also call if you can (my hubby has a phone number from SC when he's in Afghanistan), Skype, email, IM, etc. Mail is freakishly slow sometimes. I've had packages shipped to him that got there in a week and others that took 2 months. Send him care packages. Those little packets of drink mix that flavor a bottle of water or some Mio will be greatly appreciated. Ditto things like granola bars, dried fruit, hard candy, etc. You'll help him out a lot and he'll appreciate it more than you could possibly imagine. A little bottle of Mio to a guy stationed in the Middle East is like 3 dozen roses just because it's Tuesday.

For you - avoid the news. It's not so bad anymore but it can still be really tough when they talk about "3 soldiers dead in Afghanistan". When hubby went to Iraq in 2003 the war was brand spanking new. The news would say stupid *kitten* like "Another Michigan (we lived in MI at the time) soldier was killed today. Stay tuned to the news at 11 for further details." I finally emailed all the news stations and really went off on them for pulling that BS. How dare they make wives and family wait hours and stay up late just to find out if their loved one is alive?? They stopped doing it for the most part after that. Try to get into a routine. It's so much easier if today is like tomorrow which was like yesterday. By keeping to a routine time really does fly by. Talk to others who are in that situation. If he has a friend in his unit who has a wife or girlfriend, contact her and hang out with her. It will help a lot to have someone to talk to who is going through the same worries. Finally and most importantly, be positive. Don't dwell on negative "What if's?" Instead focus on how when he gets home you will be able to surprise him with weight loss or more muscle or having grown your hair out or whatever you think would help.

digitalbill · May 2012

Ok, so I kind of wear my on my sleeve. I like this guy, he is enlisted in the Army & leaves for AFG Thursday. I'm not obsessing over him or anything crazy like that. He said he likes me & he's going to be gone for 10 months. He didn't say "wait for me" or imply he wanted me to. But I promised I'd write him letters. The thing is, that I'm kind of worried that is what will happen. That I might just wait for him to come home. Idk how to distance myself from him so I don't get attached and for the simple fact that he might possibly not come home.Any advice?

This is going to sound VERY rude and I will apoligise in advance but,
You are worried about YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!!
This guy is going into a war zone.
This might be a good time for you to grow up a little bit and put someone elses needs above yours.

Coming from a US Army Vet....Grab your waist and pull hard because your well past your shoulders deep in your *kitten*.

I am not sure who your comment was addressed to...

Foxypoo61287 · May 2012

Thanks everyone for your great advice! This is a brand new experience for me. I'm already hoping its April so he can come home. But I'm sure he's going to get some leave too, and hopefully come see me since his base is in KY & I'm in FLA. I have a 17 month old so it's a little harder for me & travel, but his family is down here too. Thanks again everyone!

Having a hard time

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