Sticking with it!

I added the MFP app on my phone over a year ago... however, I never 100% devoted myself to fully taking advantage of the app. I just added my first two friends last Friday! Two weeks ago today, I told myself I would fully be committed to losing weight, getting healthy and staying fit.

I’ve never been “skinny” nor is that my goal. My husband isn’t into skinny chicks anyways! I grew up with two extremes – my mom’s side of the family are all very, very thin, while my dad’s side are quite heavy. Unfortunately, I tend to resemble more of my dad’s traits then my mom’s. Majority of the people on my dad’s side have diabetes (including my dad who has just recently had to start injecting himself with insulin). I grew up eating some of the worst foods – whether I liked them or not. In the South, you eat everything on your plate, that’s just how you’re raised. When I started getting a little older, my body started rejecting (I threw up) a number of the foods I was eating – like Popeyes and Captain D’s.

I’ve always struggled with my weight. I told myself once I graduated from college (April 2009) that I would get fit. The day after I graduated (at my graduation dinner) – my then boyfriend, asked me to marry him. I was in the process of getting braces so we knew we wouldn’t get married until 2011. The great thing about getting braces – it was hard to eat and thus, I lost weight! I continued to fluctuate up and down on the scale. I purchased my wedding dress May 2009. I did really good with losing weight before our wedding – so much so that the dress I purchased in May 2009 was a size 12 – when I went to get alterations done (around August 2011) – they told me I had lost too much weight to even attempt to do alterations – they then replaced my same dress with a size 8! (and had to take it in even more!) On my wedding day (11/11/11), I weighed 135 (which isn’t/wasn’t my goal, but for me it was pretty good; I’m barely 5’3”)!

After our wedding, we went on a 7 day cruise – I gained very little back. After returning, something came over me. I felt a bit upset about how some things regarding our wedding turned out. I also felt like I lost a piece of myself – I had spent so much time and energy planning our wedding…. All of a sudden, the day had come and gone.

Two weeks ago today, I got on the scale and weighed 148. I had been exercising here and there, not nearly as much as I was before. Not eating nearly as good as I was prior to our wedding. I felt mentally, emotionally, and physically awful. I couldn’t fit into the clothes that I had just fit into months before.

I’m tired of feeling awful. I realize that I eat when I’m stressed or upset. I know I’m the only one who can change these awful habits. I want to feel amazing! I want to go shopping and buy new, gorgeous clothes and not have to worry about certain parts of my body looking awful (my legs in particular). I don’t have any children (only two amazing little doggies, Bella & Lily) – but my husband has talked me into someday having children. The thought of me getting pregnant while I still don’t have my health under control freaks me out! If I can’t get my eating habits/working out schedule under control now, I can only imagine it would be sooooo much harder while trying to care for a child(s).

I’ve promised myself that this time – I’m sticking with it! I’m on a mission to eat healthy, work out frequently, and to properly manage my emotions. From now on, I’m no longer eating my emotions! I also refuse to be swayed by some of my closest friends to eat/drink bad frequently… Even after committing to MFP, I went out May 4th with some friends to the Cheesecake Factory – we ate unhealthy foods, along with drinking alcohol. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think people should cut out all unhealthy foods, however they should be limited. When I drink, I tend to eat the worst foods on earth! After leaving Cheesecake, we went bar hopping. The next two days – I felt awful! After that experience, I realized I have to start saying no – because of this, it threw my diet/workout schedule off. I wasn’t tracking my food because I was ashamed. I’m learning what triggers my bad habits. The reason why I even went out that night, knowing that I was going to eat/drink bad was because I was rewarding myself for being so good the rest of the week – but now I think about it – does that make any sense? That one night ruined the progress I made that week. One quote that I recently heard for the first time, “Do not reward yourself with food, you’re not a dog” – why have I not thought about this before?! Why do we reward ourselves with unhealthy foods?! It doesn’t make sense!

If you're still reading - thank you! I know I nearly wrote my life story!

I’m looking for friends who will continue to motivate me and who expect the same! :flowerforyou: