Self esteem issue

chelle2868
chelle2868 Posts: 19
in Motivation and Support
I have figured out one of my major issues is my low self esteem. I could go into the past and all the ways I developed this problem over the past say 35 years of my life but I guess how I got it isn't really important. What I need to help with is figuring out how to get past it. It's very easy for someone to say "you are a beautiful person" you shouldn't have self esteem problems but to be honest that doesn't really help them go away because there is always that voice in the back of your mind telling you that people are just being nice. So I guess my question is ... is there anyone out there who has actually overcome a serious self esteem issue and how did you accomplish it?

Replies

  • Mom2rh
    Mom2rh Posts: 612 Member
    Just like weight loss, there is no magic pill or easy fix, in my opinion. Go to counseling. I think it is important to look at the last 35 years of your life and figure out how to do the next 35 years differently.

    You are worth it.
  • MammaDee30
    MammaDee30 Posts: 5
    I have always struggled with that myself. I CANNOT take a compliment. Someone can tell me my hair looks nice today or you look nice and all I can do is shrug and say hmmm no. I have very low self esteem so I know where you're coming from. I have always assumed that if I lost all the weight I wanted to that the root cause of my self esteem issues (my weight), that things would get better but even as I lose weight, I don't feel any better. I don't know if it's just a part of you that stays with you forever or if you can actually have it change. Personally I think there will always be something for me causing me to have low self esteem, if it's not my weight it's my bad skin, if it's not the skin it's my bubble butt which will never go away with weight loss, it's in my genes, or my big bug eyes, or duck lips etc etc. I will never be content with myself. Wow writting this I now realise how terrible I sound. I do suffer from depression so this could be contributing to my negative thoughts. I just can't remember a time in my life even as a child in elementary school where I didn't have low self esteem.

    Well....this has not helped you at all. But it helped me in venting about it haha
    Hope you have a better afternoon
  • still_crafty
    still_crafty Posts: 682 Member
    I'm right there with you. The first step for me was really looking at my life, the past years, finding out why I felt that way about myself and correcting the problems.

    Getting in shape is the first action I took for me. It's my way of taking control. I've been fit before but even then I didn't LOVE myself like I should. I'm really working on this every single day. Also, take a good look at the people in your life and how they play into your self esteem issues. This was a big key for me.

    I know what you are saying about people just being nice when they compliment you. I have people in my life that pay me wonderful compliments all the time but until I can see myself that way, I have a hard time believing them. But I'm working on it and no one is going to stop me.
  • chelle2868
    chelle2868 Posts: 19
    I have always struggled with that myself. I CANNOT take a compliment. Someone can tell me my hair looks nice today or you look nice and all I can do is shrug and say hmmm no. I have very low self esteem so I know where you're coming from. I have always assumed that if I lost all the weight I wanted to that the root cause of my self esteem issues (my weight), that things would get better but even as I lose weight, I don't feel any better. I don't know if it's just a part of you that stays with you forever or if you can actually have it change. Personally I think there will always be something for me causing me to have low self esteem, if it's not my weight it's my bad skin, if it's not the skin it's my bubble butt which will never go away with weight loss, it's in my genes, or my big bug eyes, or duck lips etc etc. I will never be content with myself. Wow writting this I now realise how terrible I sound. I do suffer from depression so this could be contributing to my negative thoughts. I just can't remember a time in my life even as a child in elementary school where I didn't have low self esteem.

    Well....this has not helped you at all. But it helped me in venting about it haha
    Hope you have a better afternoon
    .

    Glad that venting made you feel better. It's the same with me though it's always something. I'm uncomfortable with any compliment and when I am thin am uncomfortable with any attention I get. I just need to accept that I have issues that I will probably always have.
  • chelle2868
    chelle2868 Posts: 19
    I'm right there with you. The first step for me was really looking at my life, the past years, finding out why I felt that way about myself and correcting the problems.

    Getting in shape is the first action I took for me. It's my way of taking control. I've been fit before but even then I didn't LOVE myself like I should. I'm really working on this every single day. Also, take a good look at the people in your life and how they play into your self esteem issues. This was a big key for me.

    I know what you are saying about people just being nice when they compliment you. I have people in my life that pay me wonderful compliments all the time but until I can see myself that way, I have a hard time believing them. But I'm working on it and no one is going to stop me.

    I'm not sure I can correct the problems that made me this way... so perhaps that in itself is the problem. I now have very wonderful supportive people in my life and I know that they are not the problem. I envy your awesome attitude.... some days I have a great one... today not so much but that is the way I cycle through.
  • curvykim78
    curvykim78 Posts: 799 Member
    I'm in the same boat with you...I never 'feel' pretty...I've spent $15,000 on cosmetic surgery in the last year. It has helped change me some, and I'm keeping steady with trying to eat well and lose more weight. i hate how I feel about me, and I don't want my girls to feel the same way. i want them to know they are beautiful, but it's so hard to help someone else when you can't help yourself.

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