Do you wait for your partner to get home to eat with them?

mischa_12 · May 2012

I'm facing a dilemma...a new dilemma actually as I've just moved in with a boyfriend. He doesn't finish work until 9 - 11pm most nights and I'm finding that way too long for me to wait for my dinner. I end up snacking on a million things and sometimes I just get so bored being at home alone that food is all I can think about.

I think he would be a bit upset or disappointed if I went ahead and had dinner without him so I've been waiting until he comes home but it's only making me excessively snack until then and I'm gaining a lot of weight from it I believe.

Do you wait for your partner to have dinner with them even if they work late shifts every night? Would it be rude if I just left his dinner for him?

obsidianwings · May 2012

I used to, but I found it was usually to heavy a meal to late. Now I cut out my afternoon snack, eat dinner early with the kids, then have a small supper later when my partner is home.

poodlelaise · May 2012

I've been married over 25 years and I still struggle with this. I have finally realized that I have to take care of myself. Not that I can't take care of him too. So if I can move my planned evening snack to dinner time, and eat a later dinner with him I'll do it. But if he's late enough that it would require an extra snack, then I just go ahead and eat dinner at my regular time, and have my snack when he eats dinner.

The trick is knowing how late he'll be. Its not always predictable.

saraann4 · May 2012

I had this talk with my boyfriend because we are thinking of moving in with each other. You need to ask him. Ask him if it's ok to eat without him.

saraann4 · May 2012

Also, just reread your post. He doesn't get home until 9-11pm. I'd totally eat w/out him! But definately ask how he feels about it

mab33 · May 2012

It's really not good for you to eat so close to bedtime. I used to get home at 10 or 11 after working 2 jobs and my hubby always waited for me. We both ended up gaining a lot of weight.

I think it's reasonable for you to eat earlier, and have joint meals on the weekends.

Oh, and hubby still waits for me to get home (now more like 7 to 9) to eat. I don't think it's necessary for him to do so on late nights and I've told him so. Health is most important.

skygoddess86 · May 2012

I wouldn't wait if it were me. I lose weight much better if my last meal is early. My husband wouldn't care but he'd be happy if I had something ready for him and visited with him while he ate.

keem88 · May 2012

i have this exact same thing going on. my fiance sometimes gets off at 6 like i do, but most of the time he works a double and does not get home until 1030ish.

sometimes i eat without him, he has told me numerous times to not wait for him.

most of the time i do wait for him though, and it is very hard to keep from snacking when you are alone and bored. i binge a lot when bored so i know EXACTLY what you mean.

i started trying to eat lunch later at work, and having a few lighter snacks at work as well since i get home between 630 and 7. like pears, or another fruit.

i agree with obsidianwings on the late eating though, i really hate to have dinner that late at night. i would prefer to eat a full dinner when i get in, and then maybe sit down with him to eat when he gets in and have something light.

but to answer the question, yes i usually wait for him to get home to eat, i feel weird eating alone, and sometimes it makes me feel fat (i'm a weirdo).

this probably was not helpful to you, sorry.

Athijade · May 2012

Talk to him. Explain to him what you have said to us.

Personally, that is way to late for me to be eating a full meal. I usually have a snack at about 9PM (Apple with Peanut Butter or a Greek Yogurt for example), but a full meal would make me almost sick at that hour. I would hope that my significant other would understand that and not get upset.

So, for me, I would eat dinner when I would normally eat dinner and then have my snack while he eats dinner when he gets home. That way I am still having a "meal" with him... but without causing me issues.

Also, a note. The idea that eating late will make you fat is a total myth. You can eat IN bed without an issue when it comes to weight loss/gain as long as you are within your calories. The reason I do not like to eat much that late is due to a history of heartburn.

vsay215 · May 2012

Does he get a dinner break?

Funsoaps · May 2012

That would be way too late for me to wait. I would just eat dinner normally, make something for him and when he gets home to eat, I'd sit down and have a healthy snack (raw almonds or something) and some dessert tea and chat with him so that we are sitting/eating together.

steph124ny · May 2012

I would eat dinner at a normal hour and then have a snack when he eats his dinner. It's nice to have someone to sit at the table with you while you eat, so just save a snack for then. You don't have to be eating the same food to enjoy time together...which this really seems to be more about than food.

mercina22 · May 2012

I used to but eating late just made me feel sick . So i ate at a normal time and when she got home i would sit with her and converse while she ate. Maybe ill have some fruit but nothing heavy. This way my partner doesnt feel left out and we still got in quality time together.

karenwill2 · May 2012

no way. I eat with the kids and then have his waiting on him when he gets home. It gets delivered to his recliner so he can be king.

HauteP1nk · May 2012

I would eat without him. If he is coming home that late he can't expect me to wait.
He would understand. Personally I wouldn't expect him to wait if it was reversed....

sfoxy219 · May 2012

I don't wait. Our schedules never match so it's just not possible. Plus most nights he is practicing with his band, for the theater or something is going on so there is just no time to sit and eat. If i'm not there he orders food or eats ramen. If I am there I make him something and stick it in the microwave till he gets a chance to eat it. The only time we eat together is sunday. It's the one day we typically have off together.

johnm8703 · May 2012

I hope you don't mind if a guy weighs in on this. But I work from 3-11 and my wife works 7-3:30, and personally I don't expect her to wait for me to get home or for her to stay up until I get home either. As much as I love to have dinner with her and our kids, I realize that it's an unreasonable expectation. And it makes our weekend FAMILY meal times that much more meaningful. Definitely talk to him but I'm sure that he will understand. To be honest I eat dinner at work every night and have a snack when I get home because I don't want that big of a meal shortly before I go to bed.

stephanie1133 · May 2012

No I don't . My husband doesn't get home until 6:45, and I like to eat dinner between 4 and 6. He doesn't care at all either. Plus our daughter needs to eat around 6 or before as she goes to bed around 6:30 or 7.

hbm616 · May 2012

I usually work 7-3:30 and my boyfriend works any and all shifts. If he is going to be home by 7 I will wait for him. If not then I will have a plate of delicious food waiting for him right when he walks in the door =] He isn't offended and is just grateful to get a home cooked meal!

Il_DaniD_lI · May 2012

I do wait for him but he doesn't always wait for me. I wouldn't wait for him if he was that late though.

MissFit0101 · May 2012

I eat dinner every night by myself because he doesn't get home until 10-11:30pm from work. I'm ready for bed by then, and he completely understands. Your boyfriend should understand too. That time of night is NOT a normal dinner time for most people and he should not expect you to wait. Just let him know!

ETA: I usually cook his dinner and have it ready when he comes home though, rather than cooking it at the same time, depending on what's for dinner that night.

Do you wait for your partner to get home to eat with them?

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