How to fight the urge while my family eats away

j_marie322
j_marie322 Posts: 6
in Introduce Yourself
Hi there, I am new here. I have been doing well for the past three weeks. I know it's not perfect but a great improvement and I've begun to see a change. My current challenge is that my family isn't on the same journey as me. I'd like to see them in a healthier state as well, but currently I'm the only one. It's really hard sometimes to look away and do what I need to. I have been pretty good at staying on track, but it can be so tempting when everyone else is eating anything and everything in front of me while I have a salad.

I've tried in the past losing weight and I had and I wasn't trying as hard and not really paying attention, but it was all gained back. I have quite a bit to go and I don't know, but this time somehow feels different. I'm working hard at it and feel that this is truly my time to change my life. I just hope this mentality sticks around through out my journey. I know sometimes it can be rough to stay on track, but I have to.

Any advice as to avoid and fight among a family with the same habits that got me into the position I am now.

Thanks :)

Replies

  • interceptor311
    interceptor311 Posts: 980 Member
    Get mad about it. Mad about the lack of support. use that as motivation
  • Klamber26
    Klamber26 Posts: 212
    Just look forward to the day when you're skinny, and they all decide they should eat well so they can look like you :).
  • ColtyHan
    ColtyHan Posts: 59 Member
    You can't force them to change, but you can ask them to eat the junk when you aren't around. Eventually the junk won't look as good to you, and hopefully you will be a good example for them.
  • mitchmp2005
    mitchmp2005 Posts: 9
    I am married and my wife refuses to get on MFP with me. That's fine but then she eats what she wants and really knows how to cook. Her speacilty is delicious cakes and she makes one a week. It is very hard to stay on track. I can relate. Feel free to add me
  • JTManiac
    JTManiac Posts: 7
    Congrats on starting back to a new you. With that said, losing weight can't be the main motivation. There is no stability in that. It needs to be a lifestyle change. If you just 'diet' you could lose the weight, but you go back to your old habits and this is where the cycle plays out. a healthier lifestyle will lead to the weight loss and will help assure it doesn't come back. There is nothing to do about the temptation except not succumb to it. The family's eating habit, well I would communicate with them. Explain how important it is to you what you are doing and it is hard for you when they are eating. This opens communication and hopefully will involve everyone to help meet your goals. Hope that helps and best wishes on your journey.
  • j_marie322
    j_marie322 Posts: 6
    Thanks everyone.

    I hadn't thought about getting mad as motivation. But I'll try and channel that.
  • MarincicS
    MarincicS Posts: 265 Member
    Clear out the bank accounts, buy a small appartment in Manhattan, walk through Central Park every day and go out dancing every night. Don't invite your family over for food.

    :wink:

    I know that for me, i am very lucky to live alone and have only myself to deal with on this journey. When i am around other people i really struggle to avoid being influenced and i fail more often than not. Thank goodness i don't have those influences in my home!

    So i don't have any good advice for you, aside from the above, and sitting your family down to have a serious chat with them about how they can do the most to support you while minimizing the impact to their own lifestyle.
  • Tiff6884
    Tiff6884 Posts: 28
    I understand where your coming from. My ex-husband was such a jerk and always put me down, and never got on board with helping me lose weight. I leave him, then he gets healthy, irony. LOL. Anyway, now I do have support, but I use my ex-husbands mistreatment and lack of support as motivation so next time I see him to pick our son up his mouth hits the ground! Sometimes being mad has its advantages! As far as the cravings and need to eat in larger portions, it will take some practice and patients but once you get into a routine the cravings subside and your body gets used to eating smaller meals and more healthy. I have completely cut sodas out, and drink water because that is now what I am craving and I drink crystal light. I have stopped eating fast food, and cooking great food and eating in moderation. Once your family sees how well you are doing they may jump on the bandwagon. Have faith in yourself, and you have a virtual family here on the same journey you are! Good luck, feel free to add me if you like!
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    I am very lucky to live alone when it comes to this, but I'm going to an echo an earlier poster who said "Get mad. Use this anger as motivation". Be your own best supporter!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Thanks everyone.

    I hadn't thought about getting mad as motivation. But I'll try and channel that.

    I use anger.

    I friend people on mfp who are fit, or who are doing well. That really just pisses me off.
    Then you can fuel your rage into being healthy and fit.
  • GwenRN50
    GwenRN50 Posts: 11
    You can be the role model. Maybe you'll impact them!
    Also, ask them for support & give specific examples on how they can help :)
  • chattipatty2
    chattipatty2 Posts: 376 Member
    Not enough info. Are you married? Kids older? Can cook for themselves?
    Make ahead your chicken/pork/tuan/rice/soups/chile/etc.. for several days. Have plenty of veggies ready. Then. PRE PLAN and PRE LOG your meals. If they dont want to eat what you put on table, point to kitchen and tell em to have at it.
    Once you get accustomed to eating healthy, you won't want all that **** anyways. but do not deprive yourself on a special day or night. Just go easy.
    Good luck!!
  • MichellesCharmWorld
    MichellesCharmWorld Posts: 4
    Yup, I'm in the same boat here! My husband can eat anything he wants and still look good. It stinks because he always wants fast food or to just sit next to me with a bag of chips or a container of cookies. I just want to cry half the time, but he doesn't care. It sucks and I get mad and then take all that anger to Zumba and rock it out!
  • Jennyisbusy
    Jennyisbusy Posts: 1,294 Member
    Thanks everyone.

    I hadn't thought about getting mad as motivation. But I'll try and channel that.

    I use anger.

    I friend people on mfp who are fit, or who are doing well. That really just pisses me off.
    Then you can fuel your rage into being healthy and fit.

    YEAH, GOOD job on those situps, Now I want to PUNCH you in the FACE! Grrrrrrr

    Somehow, you just have to get yourself to a place where you really really want the health more than the food. I would also suggest taking a walk, or changing rooms when you start to feel that pull towards the kitchen.
  • midnight333
    midnight333 Posts: 149
    I'll drink water and I get lunch sized portions. While waiting I drink alot of the water when it arrives I eat some of it til I'm just satisfied. I take the rest home for lunch tommorrow or if I get a large dinner portion I have 2 meals for a later time.
  • mrscapamerica
    mrscapamerica Posts: 67
    I can relate. My husband eats SO terribly, but since he is in the military and PTs every day it doesn't seem to matter. He doesn't understand that losing ten pounds is a big accomplishment for me while he can lose 10 pounds in a weekend.
    I have just had to train my willpower. Occasionally when what he's eating looks too good I will either ban him to his office (he doesn't mind lol) or I will have ONE french fry, ONE sip of his soda, ONE bite of his ice cream. That's usually enough for me. Good Luck!
  • aplusgeek
    aplusgeek Posts: 49
    First of all, you can eat more than a salad. Maybe the reason you really envy everybody else eating is because the meal you're eating is not satisfying you and you're not happy with it. So what you have to do is make healthy meals for yourself that you will enjoy. I know this from experience, once you weigh your healthy satisfying meal against what everyone else is eating you won't be tempted by other food.

    Secondly, youre not eating healthy for anyone but you, so enjoy it.
    Hi there, I am new here. I have been doing well for the past three weeks. I know it's not perfect but a great improvement and I've begun to see a change. My current challenge is that my family isn't on the same journey as me. I'd like to see them in a healthier state as well, but currently I'm the only one. It's really hard sometimes to look away and do what I need to. I have been pretty good at staying on track, but it can be so tempting when everyone else is eating anything and everything in front of me while I have a salad.

    I've tried in the past losing weight and I had and I wasn't trying as hard and not really paying attention, but it was all gained back. I have quite a bit to go and I don't know, but this time somehow feels different. I'm working hard at it and feel that this is truly my time to change my life. I just hope this mentality sticks around through out my journey. I know sometimes it can be rough to stay on track, but I have to.

    Any advice as to avoid and fight among a family with the same habits that got me into the position I am now.

    Thanks :)
  • entropy83
    entropy83 Posts: 172 Member
    I would lay the cards on the table. Tell them you don't feel supported. Sometimes uncomfortable issues need to be addressed. I had a long hard discussion with my DH and he found this site and we are both losing now 110 days strong. I know this isn't going to happen for everyone but it never hurts to try.
  • Gymboreee
    Gymboreee Posts: 23
    Depends how bad you want it, If you want it bad enough you will eat healthy if not you wont. Its all on you and nobody else. what they're eating shouldn't make a difference. mind sound kinda harsh but that's the reality
  • Shajadea
    Shajadea Posts: 57 Member
    Do what you are doing for you. You can have what they are eating in moderation on occasion. For me, cutting foods out all together just sets me up for failure. I allow myself to eat out once or twice a week for lunch or dinner. And funny enough, though I have only been on this journey for a few months (MFP for only 2-3 weeks) my cravings have lessened and my stomach doesn't hold all the stuff I used to put in it! I could eat so much in one sitting before, now I am ok with a lot less. It does happen, give it time and go easy on yourself!
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
    I mean no disrespect to your family, but have a long, hard look at them and ask yourself
    'is that what I want to look/feel like in a few years?'
    There's your answer!
  • Tiff6884
    Tiff6884 Posts: 28
    Yup, I'm in the same boat here! My husband can eat anything he wants and still look good. It stinks because he always wants fast food or to just sit next to me with a bag of chips or a container of cookies. I just want to cry half the time, but he doesn't care. It sucks and I get mad and then take all that anger to Zumba and rock it out!

    I agree Zumba is a nice aggression release! and fat burner!
  • j_marie322
    j_marie322 Posts: 6
    I truly appreciate all the advice and posts. Just reading it all has distracted me from the thought of earlier.

    I know I need to work creating healthier meals and not depend so much on my family when it comes to food. I'm actually doing well, I drink lots more water to help. I use my phone app and that helps me to keep track. I work out and that has helped me tremendously. I feel so peppy after my work out and I like it :)

    SN: I'm a recent college graduate back at home with my parents.

    Well thanks again, loving the concept of this new virtual family as someone mentioned earlier :)
  • Kristy_Elizabeth
    Kristy_Elizabeth Posts: 435
    First of all, you can eat more than a salad. Maybe the reason you really envy everybody else eating is because the meal you're eating is not satisfying you and you're not happy with it. So what you have to do is make healthy meals for yourself that you will enjoy. I know this from experience, once you weigh your healthy satisfying meal against what everyone else is eating you won't be tempted by other food.

    Secondly, youre not eating healthy for anyone but you, so enjoy it.
    Hi there, I am new here. I have been doing well for the past three weeks. I know it's not perfect but a great improvement and I've begun to see a change. My current challenge is that my family isn't on the same journey as me. I'd like to see them in a healthier state as well, but currently I'm the only one. It's really hard sometimes to look away and do what I need to. I have been pretty good at staying on track, but it can be so tempting when everyone else is eating anything and everything in front of me while I have a salad.

    I've tried in the past losing weight and I had and I wasn't trying as hard and not really paying attention, but it was all gained back. I have quite a bit to go and I don't know, but this time somehow feels different. I'm working hard at it and feel that this is truly my time to change my life. I just hope this mentality sticks around through out my journey. I know sometimes it can be rough to stay on track, but I have to.

    Any advice as to avoid and fight among a family with the same habits that got me into the position I am now.

    Thanks :)

    Exactly what I was thinking. My kid doesn't eat like we do, cooks what she wants, has candy, etc. and it doesn't bother us at all. The food we have is so yummy a lot of the time she asks to eat with us. If you make good healthy satisfying foods, then you are really setting an excellent example for your family. If you are eating salad and miserable why would that be motivating? If you want to know about our diet, you can message me and I'd be glad to share with you what we do. It's basically clean eating though. Super easy, filling, low calorie, and healthy.

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