Why are people so thoughtless?

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  • Drenched_N_Motivation
    Drenched_N_Motivation Posts: 1,004 Member
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    I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, but I find it hard to believe that the two women, especially a saleswoman, were deliberately trying to make you feel bad. You apparently look pregnant to some people. Keep on doing what your doing and one day you won't.

    This. People aren't all stupid, jjealous or out to hurt feelings. You've made great progress and soon NO ONE will ever mistake you for being pregnant. Keep it up!


    EXACTLY, these people didnt set out to hurt you, and i'm sure they felt really bad and embarassed about it. One time someone asked me if I had cancer because I was skinny and had a shaved head. I didnt give it more than a days thought and I moved on. Dont carry that *kitten* with you, or it will only distroy you.
  • janegalt37
    janegalt37 Posts: 270 Member
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    Please please please don't let this bother you.
    I have made this mistake before, and I'm a nice, good person! I was about 19 or 20 (already a mother of one) working in a video store. A woman came to the counter and paused for a while, waiting for her husband. In an effort to make her feel less uncomfortable, I asked her when she was due, to start one of those nice topical conversations that salespeople do. It turns out that even though her face, arms, boobs and legs (visible in shorts) were thin, she carried ALL of her fat in her tummy. And not in rolls. It was a solid man-beer-gut-style fat. Highly unusual. I was MORTIFIED when she said she wasn't pregnant. Oh my God. I'm 35 now, and I've never forgotten the horror of that moment, and what I must have made her feel. But seriously, this woman looked like a skinny woman that was 7 months pregnant. We all have such DIFFERENT bodies. I have since learned. :wink: We're humans. We can learn. Right? I apologize on behalf of all people that make that mistake. Sincerely.
    I am an apple shape, and carry most of my weight in my tummy and boobs. I sometimes think I look pregnant, even if by just 4 or so months. But my *kitten* and my legs look *awesome*. It does get better. So no worries. You know what they say - "The first place you put on fat is the last place you loose it."
    Totally true.
    Love you babe. Hang in there. :flowerforyou:
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
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    Maybe you were just glowing with the success of fitting into a small and she misinterpreted the glow :smile:

    Still rude to ask...don't let it get you down, you've done such an amazing thing!!
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
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    I have 2 things to say, no, make that 3.

    1) I'm sorry that happened to you.

    2) When I was pregnant I was asked well before i ever started to show.
    When I asked the person why they asked that, they said I had that special glow.
    maybe your awesome feeling was really showing and because you are so fit (it sounds)
    she never thought for a second that you were battling weight, but pregnant instead. :smile:

    3) Keep in mind you are doing this for you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks at the end of the day. :flowerforyou:

    Totally didn't even read this and I posted almost the same thing! :laugh:
  • exim
    exim Posts: 2
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    Dont care of the words of the world focus on your aims!!:flowerforyou:
  • L00py_T0ucan
    L00py_T0ucan Posts: 1,378 Member
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    I'm SO sorry this happened to you, but don't lose heart! :flowerforyou: :glasses:
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    Ugh I'm sorry this happened to you. Last year (I was only 20 at the time) a lady I had just started working with asked if I was pregnant. It actually shocked me! I wasn't even overweight at the time. It ruined my entire day, so I feel your pain.

    It sounds like you've made amazing progress and maybe the tummy is just a problem area for you (it is for me, too). Keep up the great work and eventually people will stop asking that question! And if they don't... go with one of the snarky responses people have suggested above :devil:
  • 19kat55
    19kat55 Posts: 336 Member
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    You should have looked shocked and said "Why is there a baby coming out of my vagina?"

    A comma would work well in there somewhere, no?



    :laugh:
  • kaymarie78
    kaymarie78 Posts: 104
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    Don't feel down! This has happened to me too, and I just kept on trucking. My boyfriend and I were at a Mexican restaurant and the guy making our food asked if the baby made me crave beans. I could tell he was horrified when I said I wasn't pregnant...he actually left to make someone else's food and passed mine onto someone else. I carry a lot of my weight in my stomach, so I couldn't be too mad. My boyfriend was sweet and tried to act like he didn't hear it. But I do think people shouldn't ask unless someone mentions it first. Saves everyone a lot of embarrassment. And I've known women of all sizes to be asked this question because of unflattering outfits...so it might be that instead of actual body shape! Either way, try not to take it to heart.
  • OneFatTexan
    OneFatTexan Posts: 1
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    Thoughtless people will always be there ... you can't fix stupid. You're doing this for yourself ... don't let stupid people get you down. You go girl ...
    :flowerforyou:
  • HoraceV
    HoraceV Posts: 1
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    Stupid question, but, did you take a pregnancy test?
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    I haven't read all the replies, but I can def. say that I sympathize with you.

    One of my students came up to me a few weeks ago, put his hand on his stomach and went Dude, Ms.Duma are you pregnant? (note i am still a virgin, and on birth control.. so no way in hell that was true!) and I told him, no actually I'm bloated because I'm getting ready to bleed for four days.. you mind? He looked at me and went, I will never ever ask that question again!

    Just tell those people to f-off and keep doing you. Later that night on the same day my student asked me that question, I had one of the most awesome workouts ever.. so just turn it into motivation to look even better!
  • Drenched_N_Motivation
    Drenched_N_Motivation Posts: 1,004 Member
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    Thoughtless people will always be there ... you can't fix stupid. You're doing this for yourself ... don't let stupid people get you down. You go girl ...
    :flowerforyou:


    I know you're trying to support the OP, but if a woman looks pregnant, that doesnt make someone "stupid" for asking. Mistaken is more apropriate.
  • ACB42
    ACB42 Posts: 40 Member
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    I've been asked twice. It hurt, but it motivated me to be here. Don't let her derail your progress!
  • barney50501Missy
    barney50501Missy Posts: 79
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    Fitntrim...love your profile pic!! :)
  • Linda_Darlene
    Linda_Darlene Posts: 453 Member
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    Tell them you are actually on your way to the abortion clinic. That will make them STFU and feel really stupid.

    LMHO! That is something I would do! Eye the woman up and down and say "No, are you?"

    Don't let that one person who is lacking social skills take away everything you have accomplished. Maybe she was trying to tell you were 'glowing'!
  • louwanna
    louwanna Posts: 6
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    In my 20s I ask an old school friend the same question. She said no and believe me I never ask that again! I felt horrible!! You need to be proud of what you have accomplished for yourself! Keep up the good work getting healthy :-)
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I know the truth can hurt if you have a big belly - as a woman you are pregnant or just fat (also bloating for some reason, a cyst or something). Ay least you were motivated to do something about it.

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