Personal issues affecting progress...
DaSavedSinner
Posts: 211 Member
Some of you may have read my story others may have not, but just incase here is a link to my post http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/589355-7-months-and-a-new-life
2 days ago (5-18) was ,y my 2nd year anniversary for my wife and I, But lately our "issues" are causing me to get depressed and unwanted. This is causing me to loose focus on my diet I stay in the cal limit for MFP but I honestly was eating alot lower and my progress stopped when I started counting calories. I may have just plateaued or it could be my mental state from the marriage issues I am not sure. I just know that when she is here I am always more hungry and that makes my diet hard to follow. Besides our personal issues I have also noticed women watching me as i walk by lately, that kinda creeps me out a bit since I have never had that happen til after my weight loss but even worse is that I don't feel like my wife notices me at all. I am trying to not get to personal on this topic but I am nervous about losing my progress and going backwards. I am they type of person that inspires others everyday but I am losing the inspiration I have in myself. My wife and I have been together for around 4 years total during this time I have also been the only father that her daughter has known. When we first started talking she was a good listener and was open about her feelings, but lately she never listens and then gets mad when I have to repeat the same things, and also seems to block me out when she has an issue. I know that happens in marriage but the bad part is I am a "hopeless romatic", I consider it a curse, I cannot express myself with out feeling bad about upsetting her. I put other peoples feelings and needs before my own and It is driving me mad. I really don't know what I can do but I figured if anyone could help inspire me this would be the right place to try. I guess the best way to describe me is Grenade by Bruno Mars (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR6iYWJxHqs) FYI I removed her from my friends list on here since she has not used the site since the day she made the acct.
Thanks,
DSS
I just wanted to add this, I just wrote it.
~The Climb~
One day you will fall,
to the biggest mystery of all,
the feeling will overtake you,
making you feel like new,
But one day it could fade away,
making your days sad and gray,
I will say this is real,
because this is how I feel,
Making me pray for God above,
to let me again feel that love,
To wipe the tears from my eyes,
and free me from a happy disguise,
give me the strength to hold on,
make me feel less like a pawn,
bless me lord with your grace,
and add a smile apon my face,
for I hurt from a hidden part,
deep down inside my lonely heart,
I ask you father for a sign,
Let me thirst no more I drink your wine,
I take a bite of your bread,
Let my worries all be fed,
heal the wounds inside my mind,
So happiness I can try to find,
God Please grant me serenity,
I walk by you for eternity,
Father until my time will come,
please help me from this glum,
Clear my head of all the pain,
So my life won't be insane,
free me from this stressing time,
so to my goals I can climb.
2 days ago (5-18) was ,y my 2nd year anniversary for my wife and I, But lately our "issues" are causing me to get depressed and unwanted. This is causing me to loose focus on my diet I stay in the cal limit for MFP but I honestly was eating alot lower and my progress stopped when I started counting calories. I may have just plateaued or it could be my mental state from the marriage issues I am not sure. I just know that when she is here I am always more hungry and that makes my diet hard to follow. Besides our personal issues I have also noticed women watching me as i walk by lately, that kinda creeps me out a bit since I have never had that happen til after my weight loss but even worse is that I don't feel like my wife notices me at all. I am trying to not get to personal on this topic but I am nervous about losing my progress and going backwards. I am they type of person that inspires others everyday but I am losing the inspiration I have in myself. My wife and I have been together for around 4 years total during this time I have also been the only father that her daughter has known. When we first started talking she was a good listener and was open about her feelings, but lately she never listens and then gets mad when I have to repeat the same things, and also seems to block me out when she has an issue. I know that happens in marriage but the bad part is I am a "hopeless romatic", I consider it a curse, I cannot express myself with out feeling bad about upsetting her. I put other peoples feelings and needs before my own and It is driving me mad. I really don't know what I can do but I figured if anyone could help inspire me this would be the right place to try. I guess the best way to describe me is Grenade by Bruno Mars (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SR6iYWJxHqs) FYI I removed her from my friends list on here since she has not used the site since the day she made the acct.Thanks,
DSS
I just wanted to add this, I just wrote it.
~The Climb~
One day you will fall,
to the biggest mystery of all,
the feeling will overtake you,
making you feel like new,
But one day it could fade away,
making your days sad and gray,
I will say this is real,
because this is how I feel,
Making me pray for God above,
to let me again feel that love,
To wipe the tears from my eyes,
and free me from a happy disguise,
give me the strength to hold on,
make me feel less like a pawn,
bless me lord with your grace,
and add a smile apon my face,
for I hurt from a hidden part,
deep down inside my lonely heart,
I ask you father for a sign,
Let me thirst no more I drink your wine,
I take a bite of your bread,
Let my worries all be fed,
heal the wounds inside my mind,
So happiness I can try to find,
God Please grant me serenity,
I walk by you for eternity,
Father until my time will come,
please help me from this glum,
Clear my head of all the pain,
So my life won't be insane,
free me from this stressing time,
so to my goals I can climb.
0
Replies
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The link to your story didn't work :-(
But I just wanted to say that poem is beautiful and no matter what we are going through we are our own strength, you have lost 100lbs already and that is an amazing achievement. You should never forget how amazing that is!
And other factors in life always have hard times. You will get through it if you continue to be POSITIVE. Don't give up - in terms of weight and also everyday life.0 -
The link to your story didn't work :-(
I fixed it, I had a period at the end of the url and that was messing it up.0 -
Hang in there! You've come such an amazingly far way and have accomplished so much so far. No one is perfect, and even a little glitch will not define you or ruin all your hard work. Keep going, you're doing fantastic!! The only other thing I'd like to say is... work on the communication, and hopefully everything works out for you. :flowerforyou:0
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Well HELL I can understand why women are looking at you - damnit honey you are a good looking guy (both heavy and now healthy).... Embrace that, clearly you are a looker to them and you made them smile... that smile is a million bucks in my book!
Your wife... ohhhh I wish I could give you a hug, you sound like you could use one right now. From what you were comfortable sharing here, perhaps is your wife getting self-conscious with you getting healthy and now the other women are checking you out? Sounds like she has some things she needs to get off her chest, and from the sound of things, perhaps for you to do as well.... Perhaps she is feeling threatened now with your health being optimal and maybe hers not so-there... you mentioned you removed her from the MFP friends list because she hasnt even used it to begin with - thats why Im thinking this is where perhaps its coming from.
I dont know if marriage counseling is something you would consider doing because the communication between a married couple is so VERY important. If you cant communicate, then things tend to come out all garbled and messed up, add the emotions to the point and it gets pretty 'bad' if you know what I mean.
Dont lose focus on you, but remember that focus also should include your spouse. A good heart-to-heart sounds like its in order.. get someone to take the kid(s) for a weekend... Let it be just the two of you, spoil each other, love each other, enjoy each other's company... plan on couple's date nights as a need to rekindle your relationship with each other...
Ive been with my husband for a total of 13 years, but we are celebrating our third anniversary this coming Memorial holiday weekend. We have had our ups and downs, but we do our best to communicate with each other to come to a mutual agreement, or to help each other realize 'hey, I flat out dont like how you treated me and this is why..." and we have to be good listeners... Nothing is perfect, but it sure has been a wonderful almost-13 years...
Keep your chin up, your eyes on the road, and your ears at-the-ready...
Sending you hugs from New Hampshire!0 -
Well HELL I can understand why women are looking at you - damnit honey you are a good looking guy (both heavy and now healthy).... Embrace that, clearly you are a looker to them and you made them smile... that smile is a million bucks in my book!
Your wife... ohhhh I wish I could give you a hug, you sound like you could use one right now. From what you were comfortable sharing here, perhaps is your wife getting self-conscious with you getting healthy and now the other women are checking you out? Sounds like she has some things she needs to get off her chest, and from the sound of things, perhaps for you to do as well.... Perhaps she is feeling threatened now with your health being optimal and maybe hers not so-there... you mentioned you removed her from the MFP friends list because she hasnt even used it to begin with - thats why Im thinking this is where perhaps its coming from.
I texted her earlier and asked her to be honest with me if my progress made her nervous about losing me. She said that it did but I reassured her that (word for word from text) "I only pay attention to one woman that sees me, YOU! I love ya!) (end quote)I dont know if marriage counseling is something you would consider doing because the communication between a married
couple is so VERY important. If you cant communicate, then things tend to come out all garbled and messed up, add the emotions to the point and it gets pretty 'bad' if you know what I mean.
We have done that but with the cost of gas it kinda got side tracked but I believe it helped some at least.Dont lose focus on you, but remember that focus also should include your spouse. A good heart-to-heart sounds like its in order.. get someone to take the kid(s) for a weekend... Let it be just the two of you, spoil each other, love each other, enjoy each other's company... plan on couple's date nights as a need to rekindle your relationship with each other...
We had all day yesterday for just us since kids was with gma, but we don't have the extra money to be going out to eat or movies, attractions, ect. So being at home she was bored and just sat there. I really don't know what we could to together at home besides movies that would entertain her. But I am open to suggestions.Ive been with my husband for a total of 13 years, but we are celebrating our third anniversary this coming Memorial holiday weekend. We have had our ups and downs, but we do our best to communicate with each other to come to a mutual agreement, or to help each other realize 'hey, I flat out dont like how you treated me and this is why..." and we have to be good listeners... Nothing is perfect, but it sure has been a wonderful almost-13 years...
Sounds like the complement sandwich, its a communication technique where if something bothers you tell the person but use a positive as your "bread" and the problem as your....um meat? pb&j perhaps? lol.
But yea waiting on kid to get home then wife is off at noon.0 -
Wow!! You look very good. I am impressed with the before and after pictures. Your wife has had a lot to deal with the changes you have made. I am down almost 20 lbs and my husband sings when your married to a beautiful women you have to watch your friends lol he also says good thing he doesn't really have any. Not that he didn't tell me that I was beautiful before..I just think its possible she is feeling insecure and she probably notices other women checking you out. I really don't have any advice but you write beautiflly maybe take up writing a blog. I love to write and its a big stress reliever. Hang in there and don't let yourself go back to the old you.0
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Well HELL I can understand why women are looking at you - damnit honey you are a good looking guy (both heavy and now healthy).... Embrace that, clearly you are a looker to them and you made them smile... that smile is a million bucks in my book!
Your wife... ohhhh I wish I could give you a hug, you sound like you could use one right now. From what you were comfortable sharing here, perhaps is your wife getting self-conscious with you getting healthy and now the other women are checking you out? Sounds like she has some things she needs to get off her chest, and from the sound of things, perhaps for you to do as well.... Perhaps she is feeling threatened now with your health being optimal and maybe hers not so-there... you mentioned you removed her from the MFP friends list because she hasnt even used it to begin with - thats why Im thinking this is where perhaps its coming from.
I texted her earlier and asked her to be honest with me if my progress made her nervous about losing me. She said that it did but I reassured her that (word for word from text) "I only pay attention to one woman that sees me, YOU! I love ya!) (end quote)I dont know if marriage counseling is something you would consider doing because the communication between a married
couple is so VERY important. If you cant communicate, then things tend to come out all garbled and messed up, add the emotions to the point and it gets pretty 'bad' if you know what I mean.
We have done that but with the cost of gas it kinda got side tracked but I believe it helped some at least.Dont lose focus on you, but remember that focus also should include your spouse. A good heart-to-heart sounds like its in order.. get someone to take the kid(s) for a weekend... Let it be just the two of you, spoil each other, love each other, enjoy each other's company... plan on couple's date nights as a need to rekindle your relationship with each other...
We had all day yesterday for just us since kids was with gma, but we don't have the extra money to be going out to eat or movies, attractions, ect. So being at home she was bored and just sat there. I really don't know what we could to together at home besides movies that would entertain her. But I am open to suggestions.Ive been with my husband for a total of 13 years, but we are celebrating our third anniversary this coming Memorial holiday weekend. We have had our ups and downs, but we do our best to communicate with each other to come to a mutual agreement, or to help each other realize 'hey, I flat out dont like how you treated me and this is why..." and we have to be good listeners... Nothing is perfect, but it sure has been a wonderful almost-13 years...
Sounds like the complement sandwich, its a communication technique where if something bothers you tell the person but use a positive as your "bread" and the problem as your....um meat? pb&j perhaps? lol.
But yea waiting on kid to get home then wife is off at noon.
OH MY GAWD - We dont spend a hell of a lot of money at all! In fact, this weekend my husband and I stayed home and enjoyed each other's company. Not ashamed to admit it, but George and I got our gaming going on until 1am last night... MAN THAT WAS AWESOME! We spent time together cooking the meal together, got outside for some fresh air to hit a couple of stores (typical groceries, his addictive need for chocolate, my need for ginger to cook tonight's meal, lol), sometimes just resorting to fun things we did as kids but brought into our adult hood, well hell, its FUN! LOL!!!!
There are many websites you can get some ideas for fun activities to do together that dont require money, or very little. Im a big fan of going out to the nearest park, laying a blanket with a packed meal for us (well, three for him, one for me ...hehehe), bring a small radio, take photos, etc... simple, low-maintenance, but fun.
Being the romantic, how are you in the kitchen? Make up a nice simple but romantic dinner... it doesnt have to be filet mignon with lobster tail.. it could be her favorite dish... a couple candles, a glass of wine with dinner, and enjoying the meal together with some nice soft music in the back...
Go on nature-walks! Bring a camera for each of ya... big bottle of water, perhaps a backpack filled with healthy snacks (also serves a dual purpose of added weight which means your walks get more cardio-enhanced!) Find that perfect spot!
There must be some fun activities you can also do together as a family? I love a good game of badminton, volleyball, etc. I enjoy working in the garden - good music going, have a little dirt-tossing fight (hehehehehe), its very therapeutic believe it or not....
Let one day be something YOU want to do, and she has to agree to do it with you. The next day, let it be something SHE wants to do and you agree to do it with her - make sure you both come up with ideas on your own. Agree to embrace changes and new things and ideas and make it a wonderful experience. George is not a very social guy - if he doesnt know you, he wont. I asked him if he would consider having dinner with two friends of mine (a married couple) who are in my performing music group... they have chatted with him before in passing and where it seemed like they hit it off with each other, I was wondering how he felt about going out to dinner? He was all for it! He had a BLAST! And made new friends at the same time! We kept the costs low, only ordering a few appetizers (THEY ARE HONKIN' HUGE! UGH!) and he had his iced tea, I had my soda water with lemon...
if there is a desire, there is a will, and if there is a will, there is a way!!!!!0
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